History, vintage clothing, port, Royalism, Stephen Fry, sherry, Chappism, The Chap, briar, stately homes, sushi, stripes, checks, Romanticism, tweed, local farms, Peter Cook, rain, John Lobb, the decorative arts, the 1930s, Locke Ober, Barbour jackets, Brooklyn, Pimm's No. 1, Roman noses, sewing, Champagne, certain foreigners, crystal decanters, Britishness, making amusing voices, domestic service, Scotch eggs, rabbit for dinner, recycling and generally repurposing, cane-thin umbrellas, french fries with mayonnaise, Duralex glasses, guilloche enamel, India and Indians, correspondence, buttonholes, hereditary madness, disliking LA, fountain pens, leaning, Val St. Lambert glass, unfiltered local honey, toast, dented silver, tapioca and just about any of the poor stigmatized puddings associated with old people, old people, hating communism with every sinew in my body (especially bolsheviks) I mean a little enlightened socialist thinking is super, but all out, overall-wearing communism is right out lest we start breaking wind in the palaces of the mighty! and so forth , savoury pies, the idea of being surrounded on all sides and being safe and cozy within, learning everything I can and loving it so much I can taste it, girls with auburn hair and freckles on their chests and all girls really, jam
Charles Dickens, Stephen Fry, Charles Prince of Wales, Horace Rumpole, Claude Rains, Sherman Billingsley and anyone who desires the utter destruction of this current government and indeed the reformation of our current American Way of Life.
DISLIKES: After biting my tongue for too long I have decided to issue a list of dislikes. To be sure the internet is the most indulgent, masturbatory morass on record. And certainly I pride myself on a certain restraint. But if I restrain myself one more moment I shall burst. If the dislike below happens to be a person then it means I gladly would extend the death penalty to you. In no particular order here are a list of decided dislikes.
1. Manhattan 2.Those who spit anywhere other than in a dentist's chair. 3.Republicans 4.Hedge Funds (Yech!) 5. The American inability to produce a fucking decent cup of tea already. 6. People who still think Brooklyn is the Dark Continent or something. 7. Hydrogenated anything. 8. Those misguided people who, thinking the labels tacked to their coats saying things like "100% Wool" and "Armani" are supposed to be there, never remove them and instead go about looking like asses. And also on this theme, people who leave the vents and pockets basted shut on their coats and jackets. Death to ye! 9. Men who in the mornings, and obviously far too rushed, insist on draping their neckties around their necks rather than tying them. Similarly, men who, upon leaving their places of employ, loosen their ties down to their navels. For God sake if you MUST loosen your tie (Heaven forfend) just remove it and place it discreetly in your pocket or bag. 10. RATNER and creatures of his ilk. I wish slow death on him. 11. Bush and all his instruments of evil. But really that goes without saying. 12. People who smoke with no flair whatsoever. 13. Crocs--these are meant to be footwear, but look more like a beach toy. 14. Buying things at retail. (Naff!) I rarely do. 15. The "UGG" boot 16. The American version of the Office. Hate, hate, hate! 17. Modern Puritanism in all its forms. Death to ye, dull dogs! Life should be at once dignified and utterly decadent. 18. Anything that calls itself antibacterial and is used outside a hospital. You mustn't sterilize yourself. 19. Microwave ovens and dishwashers. Pure evil, the two of them. 20. Will Farrel. As funny as a cankar. 21. Flip flops. These are not town shoes at all and can barely to tolerated for the walk from the beach to your car. I advocate espadrilles for man, woman and child. 22. Damien Hirst. Feed him to something! 23. Government imposed smoking bans anywhere. 24. Matthew Barney for being false. 25.Food Netowrk for being about everything but food and for creating its own stable of so-called celebrities rather than cultivating real cooking shows. 26. Bobby Flay--This man beggars description. His name should be his state; flayed on a bed of coals with an apple up his snout. He is a crass fuck if ever there was one and I wish he would die in a freak drywall accident. 27. The SARTORIALIST for being the biggest no-taste, no-brain cunt ever to walk the earth. In addition to having a blog that has little to nothing to do with anything SARTORIAL (nice try on the name) he is the world's most boring photographer since Auntie Mame went to Nairobi. (and loved it by the way). No one is better at capturing utterly forgettable images of young beautiful hipsters and silly fashionistas looking picture perfectly dull. Did the world really need more pictures of beautiful boring twits? Thanks, Sart! 28. Fixed gear bicycles-The people that so ardently uphold these contrivances as the purest form of bicycle also live mostly in the city, precisely where a fixed gear bike is the most useless. (If you've every ridden one you'll understand why they are so thunderingly retarded) Why can't these people take up needlepoint or whittling?! 29. Williamsburg-much maligned I know, but I'm still up for casting one more stone. (or boulder!) Williamsburg is UGLY for a thousand reasons so please don't pretend it's lovely. The kind of cretinous young person that is drawn to Williamsburg from across the nation is the most nauseating hipster turd on record. That's all.
1920s/1930s jazz and dance band music, anything unhinged and manic, Gilbert & Sullivan, British Light Music, 1960s European girl bands, Blossom Dearie, lemons, English Brass bands, Hurdy Gurdy music, early music (renaissance)
Being There, Enigma, 1941, Captain Blood, Swiss Family Robinson, Rushmore, Gold Diggers of 1933, Ghost World, Empire of the Sun, Toys, 1941, Topsy Turvy, Popeye, Barton Fink, The House of Mirth, Auntie Mame, The Long Goodbye, Gosford Park, Brazil, Master and Commander, Lil' Abner, Cross of Iron, The Horse's Mouth, Withnail and I
The Kids in the Hall, The Singing Detective, MST3K, A Bit of Fry & Laurie, Seinfeld, The Office, Dead Ringers, Reno 911, Blackaddrer, Young Indiana Jones, Erie Indiana, the new Battlestar Galactica, Pennies From Heaven, Rumpole of the Bailey, That Mitchell and Webb Look, Nathan Barley, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Anything by, Stephen Fry, P.G. Wodehouse, Anthony Trollope, Thomas Hardy, The Way We Live Now, The Return of the Native, Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey/Maturin stories, Charles Dickens (he's so much better than you remember), The Art of Eating
Winston Churchill, Edward VII, Will Rogers, Noel Coward, Edward VIII, Charles the Prince of Wales for his inspired progressive thinking