Bertie St.Roker profile picture

Bertie St.Roker

St.Roker - Fine attire for the fast & louche

About Me


[ CLICK HERE FOR THE ST.ROKER SHOP. IT'S ACE. ]

The St.Rokers are on the loose... Freed from every form of employment ever attempted, Hampton St.Roker has a plan.We are going to employ ourselves instead, make some very fine clothes and then find a sufficient number of fops, cads, and roués to eek out a living from it. No idea how, you understand, but not to worry.Fate, history, and a fair amount of apathy have conspired to hand me, cousin Bertie, the task of recording our road from feckless, gin soaked libertines to feckless, gin soaked clothing magnates. There will be ups, downs, and delegation of anything remotely taxing.So pour yourself something grain based in the region of 50% proof, slip in a tobacco enema, and don your favourite dressing gown. My journals await...ps. the shop is now open at www.saintroker.com

My Interests

Clothing, feckless behaviour, gin, being splendid, rum, haberdashery, whisky, whiskers, stroking, smoking, music, young ladies with low self esteem, rugby, rowing, more rum, winking, drinking, kicking Pau Pau, the former colonies, collecting waifs and strays, more clothes, the sound of my own voice, more gin, feeding ponies, mountaineering, getting smashed with panache, being rather louche, travel, wine, hockey, admiring my reflection, hunting hoodies, fashion, fingers and tops, tobacco enemas, and damning your eyes.

I'd like to meet:

Anyone who'd like a lovely polo shirt, just for starters.

Movies:

The Wild Geese, Get Carter, The Man Who Would Be King, The French Connection (though not their god-awful clothes), Withnail & I, The Long Good Friday, Escape to Victory, Bullitt, The Dirty Dozen, Swingers, Goldfinger, The Great Escape, Zulu, Star Wars, The Magnificent Seven, The Assasination Bureau, Spartacus, Beyond the Valley of the Ultra Vixens, The Italian Job, The Breakfast Club, and bestest of all, Porky's.

Heroes:

Oliver Reed, Michael Caine, David Niven, Hampton St.Roker, Roger Moore, Richard Burton, Boris Johnson, Peter O'Toole, Mr Stephen McQueen, George Lazenby, Sir Harry Flashman VC, Sammy James Junior, T.E.Lawrence, James Hunt, Sir Richard Mayall, Evel Knieval, Leslie Phillips, Derek, Clive, Errol Flynn, Ron Burgundy, Paul Weller, and the chap who owned Fantasy Island.

My Blog

Entry 23 - The Bertie Identity

Entry 23 - The Bertie Identity He was the perfect weapon, until he hit the rum.   Every now and again, things go a little askew. Being the lead guinea pig in the quest for a cure for thirst, I...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Fri, 02 May 2008 12:23:00 PST

Entry 22  The 12 Days of St.Roker

Entry 22  The 12 Days of St.Roker   Well, that's that for another Festive season. Even by our low standards it was both eventful, and interesting. It's been a while since I sat myself down with...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 05:30:00 PST

Entry 21 - Bertram V

Bertram V   Now, dear friends, as you know I am many things, not all good by any stretch and yet also not entirely bad either.  I wear, as is one's want, many hats and am by turns Cad to s...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 04:08:00 PST

Entry 20 - Bertielander

  Entry 20  Bertielander     Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously dashing?   Neither have I.   We returned f...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 05:31:00 PST

Entry 19 - The Spanish Job

Entry 19  The Spanish Job     Following our heroic exploits and endeavours in Wimbledon, morale was once again higher than a scutter sucking on a Pritt stick dipped in cough mixture. News ...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 03:38:00 PST

Entry 18 - BooZulu

Entry 18  BooZulu   "He suppeth the pint and teareth the Porky Scratchings in sunder, for the Bertie is among us."   It is said that a man will only know true fear twice in his life; whe...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Mon, 14 May 2007 04:06:00 PST

Entry 17  A Breath of Fresh Air.

Entry 17  A Breath of Fresh Air     Things have been a little quiet of late. Since my little dalliance with celebrity and the slight misunderstanding that resulted, I had been forced to wi...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Sat, 21 Apr 2007 03:59:00 PST

Entry 16 - Life of Bertie

Entry 16  Life of Bertie     Once we'd got back from the dreadful countryside, Hampton somewhat recovered but busying himself finding new things to fret about, I was soon back into the swi...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 04:50:00 PST

Entry 15  Can you guess what it is yet? (by Hampton St.Roker)

Entry 15  Can You Guess What It Is Yet? (by Hampton St.Roker)   These past few weeks, Bertie has been busy cultivating his public persona. Having run out of simple tasks, and with the sandpit ...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:25:00 PST

Entry 14 - Hampton & I

Entry 14  Hampton & I   I woke this morning in bad shape, even by my lofty standards. I was shaking like a shitting dog and even my hair hurt. My body was covered with a sheen of cold swea...
Posted by Bertie St.Roker on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 11:59:00 PST