JAIMIE'S BLOG ARCHIVE
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Don't Worry. That Can Easily Remedied With Anesthesia and A Power Drill. Read it HERE
Hey You! Sign Here To Humiliate Yourself On National Television! Read it HERE
“Has anyone ever told you that you look like Katie Holmes?†Read it HERE
I.C.U. Read it HERE
Surgery. Read it HERE
The Muse Is Back. Read it HERE
Writing About Not Being Able To Write. Why Didn't I Think of That? Read it HERE
Award Winning Procrastination Read it HERE
"I want a magical talking Ariel sala." Read it HERE
Quick Update. Read it HERE
Deck The Halls... In Mid November! Read it HERE
It's Official, I Have To Much Time... And Not Enough Glitter. Read it HERE
Cohesive Thought Is Not My Strong Suit. Read it HERE
Having the Right To Do It, Doesn't Mean It's Right To Do It. Read it HERE
You Can Either Have Your Dream or Your Recliner… It's Your Choice. Read it HERE
Life Doesn't Suck. Attitudes Do. Read it HERE
PLEASE READ THIS POST: An Update on "The Situation". Read it HERE
…And Still I Refuse To Take Anything Too Seriously. Read it HERE
"There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief." Read it HERE
Talk Is Cheap Because Supply Exceeds Demand. Read it HERE
Would A Zombie Uprising Really Be That Bad?. Read it HERE
What Happens When Easter Candy and A Dyslexic Mexican Try To Compare Notes. Read it HERE
OH SNAP! That's Gonna Leave A Mark! Read it HERE
Monkeys Are SOOOO Last Season. Read it HERE
This Just In!!! Monogamy Is TOTALLY Impossible For Anyone Of The Male Persuasion. Read it HERE
"Oh the womens. Oh the razorblades… AHHHHH!". Read it HERE
"Mrs. Jaimie Van Damme Just Doesn't Have Quite the Ring To It. Read it HERE
I Am Ashamed. Read it HERE
Because There Just Aren't Enough Words To Explain. Read it HERE
6,000 Reasons Not To Visit Phoenix, AZ In The Summer... Or Ever. Read it HERE
What Is Being Left Behind? Read it HERE
A Maniacal Child Was I. Read it HERE
I'm An Idiot, But You Already Knew That. Read it HERE
I Need A Favor… Read It HERE
An Open Letter Read It HERE
"…If someone asks you if you're a god… YOU SAY YES!" Read It HERE
He Is Obsessed With Zombies and Jack Bauer… That Doesn't Leave A Lot Of Room To Be Picky. Read It HERE
Two Notches Below Nurse, One Notch Above Vomit. Read It HERE
The Ninja Turtles: American Heros (At Least For Me, But I Have Issues) Read it HERE
I Love Old People Read it HERE
The Best Interviews Ever! (A Shout Out To My Homies) Read it HERE
I Did Time… In Jail… No Really… Stop Laughing! Read it HERE
CHPT 3: Where There Is Smoke, There Is Heartache. Read it HERE
An Interview With Reverend Redd Read it HERE
The Tweezers ARE Your Friend. The Sharpie Is NOT. Read it HERE
How A BB Gun and A Wrestling Match Revealed the Solidity of My Marriage. Read it HERE
WRESTLING IS NOT FAKE!! Read it HERE
Okay, I Really Can't Take It Anymore! Read it HERE
We Are THE Mexican Wedding Company. Read it HERE
Yes, They Are Made Up, But They're Also Functional: Part 2. Read it HERE
"The Riz" Needs To Get "A Job". Read it HERE
I Am Healed! Thank You Jesus! Read it HERE
Stepping Over Hobos and Hating On Hippies. Read it HERE
Yes, I am Mexican. So Stop Asking. Read it HERE
The Bill & Ted Movie's: American Classic's. Read it HERE
Embarrassing Myself & Loved Ones Since 1983. Read it HERE
Conan the Destroyer: An American Classic. Read it HERE
Yes, They Are Made Up, But They're Also Functional! Read it HERE
I Am TERRIFIED of E.T. Read it HERE
My Dog is a "Poser" & We Are Going To Throw Down! Read it HERE
"How 'bout 'F', Youre A Gimp?!" Read it HERE
I WAS the Lord Thy God Until I Got Married. Read it HERE
Jungle Dance Read it HERE
Dr. Love Brings Some Astonishing Results. Read it HERE
I Am Obsessed. I Need Intervention. Read it HERE
Sacrificial Lamb A Conte Regarding Carly Read it HERE
Dumpster Diving Read it HERE
Jedi Mind Tricks Read it HERE
CHPT 2: Postmortem Relationships Spy From Trees Above. Read it HERE
Liquid Gross Read it HERE
CHPT 1: A Mexican Working At "The Bell" & A Cute Kid Who Was Supposed To Be In Arkansas Read it HERE
Paper? Plastic? Platinum? Read it HERE
The Mexican & "A Series of Unfortunate Events" Read it HERE
"Subtle, but malicious He's not." Read it HERE
A "Rare Form of Amnesia" Read it HERE
- I cannot stand "internet speak" (Examples: ppl, ltr, nd, brb) it takes very little time to type out the whole word everyone. I see this as sheer laziness. The only one that hasn't managed to bother me is "lol". ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /It drives me crazy when people type in alternating caps and lower case.I love to cook.I am obsessed with books. I have a huge collection, over half of which have been signed by their original authors.I think pictures in black and white or sepia are much more beautiful than color.I started dating my husband when I was 15 years-old.I have no children yet, but take very seriously preparing for them a future.I AM TERRIFIED OF E.T.!!! (yes from the movie, and no I don't have any idea why).I am fixated on huge earrings.I love anything with glitter or rhinestones (preferably both). Everything can be improved with sparkles as far as I am concerned.I collect inspirational, funny, and moving quotes (if you have one you think I will like leave a comment with it).I am writing a book for my children about Eli and my dating years.I cannot stand it when someone folds a towel and it's not symmetrical. If I see someone does this I will refold it.I wish everyone could feel as loved, safe, and provided for as I do everyday (mostly thanks to my love, Eli)People who believe if you have money and are comfortable with nice things you cannot truly serve God REALLY BOTHER ME. .I am viciously protective of my family and friends. I would die for anyone of them.I enjoy constructive criticism as long as I know it is given in love and concern.I play the guitar.I learned to sing when I was 8 years-old by imitating Mariah Carey in an old MTV Unplugged video my parents had.I am usually reading no less than 5 books at any given time.I love finding and conversing with talented people with a vision.I am working on pushing anything negative out of my life.I have two tattoos. Both involve my husband.I grew up a PK (pastor's kid) all my life.I used to be in pageants.I make my own candles.Cross stitching and Quilting are pass times for me.I am dying to plant a garden.I love eye makeup (NAO Cosmetics Rock!).I have never seen the following movies GASP!: Grease, Gone With the Wind, Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Footloose... And I may never see them.My niece Vanessa is precious to me.Anything regarding Early American History is interesting to me... Especially the Civil War and World War 2!At the urging of my husband I have learned how to make Sushi.Eli and I will be renewing our vows during a 4 day celebration. The celebration will be held in a castle in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" / Scotland with our friends and family.I love hearing peoples stories.You will never have to wonder what I am thinking.
"But all the wickedness in the world which man may do or think is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal dropped in the sea.
(William Langdon)
"Have no opinion where you have no responsibility."
(John Maxwell)
"Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough."
(The Greatest Salesman in the World.)
"Success is the Greatest Revenge."
(Unknown)
"It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are."
(Roy Disney)
"Work like it all depends on you, and pray like it all depends on Him."
(Unknown)
"Who you run with is who you will become."
(Ben Denogean )
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do."
(Dale Carnagie)
"The truth needs so little rehearsal."
(Barbara Kingsolver)
"People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."
(John Maxwell)
"Do everything you ask of those you command."
(General Patton)
"The opposite of success is not to fail. The opposite of success is to quit."
(Greg Duncan)
"If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive."
(Mother Theresa)
"Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."
(Winston Churchill)
"...I pointed out a moment ago that the more pride one had, the more one disliked pride in others. In fact, if you wanted to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, 'How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronise me, or show off?' The point is that each person's pride is in competiton with every one else's pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise. Two of a trade never agree...."
(C.S. Lewis)
"Be the change that you want to see."
(Ghandi)
"The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time."
(Willem de Kooning)
"Heroes are men who change fate, not endure it."
(Jonathan Goss a.k.a. "Lake")
"The devil gets way to much credit from lazy Christians."
(Unknown)
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it wears overalls and looks like work."
(Thomas Edison)
"Rule number one of business: Be smarter than the people who think they are thinking."
(Dean Kosage)
"Where there is a God, there is an accountability."
(John Crowe)
"You can only be young once. You can always be immature."
(Dave Berry)
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
(Albert Einstein)
"Your existence is circular. You only exist to continue your existence."
(Equilibrium)
"Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm."
( Publilius Syrus)
"Where there is no vision, the people perish."
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