Polly Dactyl profile picture

Polly Dactyl

she's a goddess milking her time for all that it's worth

About Me


Hey, ya bunch of weirdos! Welcome to MySpaceOut!
This month's Maudism:
"Try something new each day. After all, we're given life to find it out. It doesn't last forever."
"I'm Afraid of Americans" - David Bowie and Trent Reznor
(I'm afraid I can't help it...)
Below, you will find some assorted silly Borat clips . . .
(very nice! you will like!) Jagshemash!
Borat and Azamat have a slight misunderstanding.
..
Borat goes hunting! ..
Borat enjoys American hobbies: self-defense against the Jew claw, everybody dancing now, and soul motion.
..
Hello! My name is Paula! I am a nice lady. . . and, a bit of a cuckoo!
Those of you who already know me already are all-too-aware that I'm actually quite dull and drab, so I won't go into unnecessary detail here. Those of you who are strangers to me, as of now, would be bored to tears hearing about me Me ME, I can guarantee you, and, anyway, that's not why you're visiting my profile, now, is it?
No, you're here to be entertained. See? I instinctively know what each and every one of you desire and crave.
So, without further adieu, I present to you the musical genius team of (fictional brothers) Barnes and Barnes, straight outta Lumania (West Side) (also fictional), with their 1980 classic rock monster video, "Fish Heads." Eat them up, yum!
..
So, that's the end of -that- little ditty. Did it make your day worthwhile?
What?!?? You want even MORE entertainment? (you gluttons!) Okay, then...
Here's Christopher Walken - and his hair - doing a bit of the old soft shoe,
to Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice." Fred Astaire is way jealous. ..
American Cities That Best Fit You:
65% Seattle
60% Honolulu
55% San Diego
55% San Francisco
50% Portland
[Oh, goodie. I'm in the right place...for the time being, anyway.] Which American Cities Best Fit You?
Sometimes, after an especially long day, I come home and look into my own mirror, and I feel just like Miles the Kitty Cat. I can totally relate. Behold:
..
Miles and the Mirror
Want to play with my little friend, Gouda Cat? She would really like that! ..
Press 'more' to play with your bouncing red ball! It drives my pussy wild!
Or, give Gouda Cat a nice tin of meat...Click on pussy to get her out of the basket...Rub your cursor on her body to make her purr. Nice pussy!
Golly, that was oodles o' fun for you and my darlin' pussy, wasn't it?
Gouda Cat says "thank you" to one and all!
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You Belong in Amsterdam
(Ja! No Shit!)
I'm gonna be a
squatter graffiti artist!

A little old fashioned, a little modern - you're the best of both worlds. And so is Amsterdam.
Whether you want to be a squatter graffiti artist or a great novelist, Amsterdam has all that you want in Europe (in one small city). What European City Do You Belong In?
Which Random Cult Movie Character are you?
I am Harold, from "Harold and Maude." I'm a sensitive, but...weird...soul.
Which Law Enforcement Officer Of Reno 911 Are You?
You're Deputy Clementine Johnson. You're a whore who has a lot of sexual relations with Jonesy and many others. You once thought you were pregnant and you have good reason to. You also attempted to get married but your marriage to an abusive drug user wasnt official because you forgot to get a marriage license. You've also been known to do drugs yourself.
Take this quiz. Or, don't! See if I care! !
Your Seduction Style: The Natural
You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen. Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people. You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find! People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast. What Is Your Seduction Style?
You Are 48% Lady
You're part lady, part modern woman.
Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly. Are You A Lady? Or a Guy? Or a Hermaphrodite?
How to make a Polly Dactyl
Ingredients:
5 parts friendliness
2 parts courage
7 parts beauty
Method:
Layer ingredients in a shot glass. Serve with a slice of lovability and a pinch of sugar. Yum!
(Note: My recipe requires the world's largest shot glass.)
Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com
..
Poke me! Poke me! Poke me again! C'mon! Poke away! I deserve a good poking!
GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, WOULD SOMEBODY PLEEZ GIMME A DECENT POKING, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?! POKE ME, DAMMITALLTOHELL! WOOF!

My Interests

"Hurt" by Sad Kermit

Love, reign o'er me...

Kiss me, my darling!

Paula and Edwin time-travel to 1962, and visit the World's Fair in Seattle!
[courtesy of MST3k's "Century 21 Calling"]
..

Squirrel Yin and Yang

This is Precisely How I Looked and Felt
During the 8-hour Graduate School Class
Which I Survived On 4 November 2006:
..

And, where are YOU from, eh?
I'm from the Pacific Northwest aka The Great Wet North! (Actually, I am e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e . . . all of the time.)
(Except for Russia -- they seem to be immune to my powers!)
Click here to make your own map [pause][pause][pause] NOT!

This is Hunter. He is King of the World. Show some respect.

Care for a glass of absinthe . . . the REAL thing? ..

I never knew that kitties could tea-bag like this! Did you? Meowee!

I'd like to meet:

Lenny Bruce. John Lennon. Abraham Maslow. Chet Baker. Shelly Manne. Edgar Allen Poe. Kurt Cobain. Martin Luther King, Jr. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Leonardo da Vinci. Hunter S. Thompson. Keith Moon. Sir Lawrence Olivier. Graham Chapman. Richard Pryor. Jimi Hendrix.

All of 'em men, all of 'em dead. How does this reflect on me? Am I a secret necrophile that lurks in the shadows of graveyards? (you wish)

But, most of all, the man I really want to meet, every single day for the rest of my life, is very much alive and kicking. He is my special love, the
Ki Meester.

Music:

The Who. Nine Inch Nails. Nirvana. Pearl Jam. Coldplay. The Beatles. Beck. The Cure. Alice In Chains. Depeche Mode. Foo Fighters. Cat Stevens. R.E.M. Basement Jaxx. Thievery Corporation. Yes. The Chemical Brothers. Lenny Kravitz. Led Zeppelin. U2. Moby. Soundgarden. Boards of Canada. Sting. Peter Gabriel. Simon and Garfunkel. Filter. Pete Townshend. Smashing Pumpkins. Crowded House. Underworld. Neil Young. The Smiths. Electronic. Neil Finn. Michael Penn. Fatboy Slim. Prodigy. INXS.

Grab your glowsticks, and let's all go to Ibiza
to see Underworld perform "Born Slippy" for the 375,829th time! ..

The Smiths: "How Soon Is Now?" Such a happy tune! Tra la laa la la!
..

Depeche Mode: John the Revelator. Another happy, happy song!
Follow along with the Bouncing Bushtator! ..

W.A.Mozart. C.Debussy. J.S.Bach. L.V.Beethoven. A.Vivaldi.

The Chet Baker Quartet. Shelly Manne and his Men. Art Pepper. Shorty Rogers.

And, of course, the West Coast bebop jazz piano playing and songwriting of Russ Freeman, who I might be related to in some strange way.

I found this nifty little animation about New York City (by Ed Moorman), featuring my father on piano, playing the tune "Lush Life."
..

Best Music to Fuck My Sweet Gumdrop By: Nine Inch Nails -- Year Zero

Best In Love Music: Coldplay

Movies:

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Spartacus. Harold and Maude. Fahrenheit 9/11. Reservoir Dogs. Trainspotting.
What's that, you say? You don't have the time or the patience to watch all 94 minutes of "Trainspotting"? Can't understand a bloody word that Begbie says? Well, fear no more, ya bunch o' tossers! Director Danny Boyle has been kind enough to squash his classic movie into a dandy four-minute video, accompanied by the acoustic version of Underworld's "Born Slippy." (No glowsticks allowed this time -- only heroin!)
And, as Mark "Rent-Boy" Renton says so brilliantly:
"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchased in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life . . .
But why would I want to do a thing like that?"
..
Take The Ewan McGregor Test!
The Producers (1968).
"Springtime for Hitler" from comic genius Mel Brooks: ..
Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The Graduate. A Clockwork Orange. Goodfellas.
The Godfather I and II. Brokeback Mountain. Pulp Fiction. Dances With Wolves.
The Thing (1982). Falling Down. Permanent Midnight. Team America. Jesus' Son. Almost Famous. The Matrix. This is Spinal Tap. Blazing Saddles. Amadeus.
Long Riders. Scanners. Natural Born Killers. Paradise Lost. Rosemary's Baby.
Citizen Kane. 2001: A Space Odessey. The Basketball Diaries. March of the Penguins. Bliss. Dr. Strangelove. Thirteen. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Next.

Television:

A Date With Your Family (1950), as presented by Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3k), with commentary by Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot. Shows how to not have emotions while dining with your loved ones. ..

The Daily Show. South Park. Monty Python's Flying Circus. Reno 911. MST3k. The Colbert Report. I Love Lucy. Oz. The Sopranos.
Da Ali G Show. Ren and Stimpy. Judge Judy. Real Time with Bill Maher.
Six Feet Under. Mr. Show. Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. Jeopardy.

Books:

Being a graduate student, I don't have the luxury of leisure time to read FUN books these days. But, if I were to read, here are some of my old-timey favourites: Toward a Psychology of Being (Abraham Maslow), The Prophet (Kahlil Gibran), Trainspotting (Irvine Welsh), Deep In A Dream (James Gavin)(hi Jim!!), Lies and The Lying Liars Who Tell Them (Al Franken), Stupid White Men (Michael Moore), Straight Life (Art and Laurie Pepper), Centennial (James Michener), Makes Me Wanna Holler (Nathan McCall), Midlife Orphan (Jane Brooks), Himalaya (Michael Palin)

Heroes:

My father, Russ Freeman, is my all-time real-life hero. Even though his physical life is done now, he is still always with me. He taught me how to make wise choices, and he convinced me that I deserve to have all the happiness that life has to offer. He was also the wittiest man I have ever met. Thank you, Dad. You make me so proud, and I think you would be proud of me too.

My Blog

Yero Zero drops in April

Nine Inch Nails -- Year Zero -- 17 April 2007 -- halo 23     For the first time in his career, it didn't take Reznor five years to make a new record. Maybe it's because he's off the ...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Tue, 06 Feb 2007 08:40:00 PST

I have no class whatsoever.

It's true. I am the woman who has no class. None at all. A classless broad, that's me, yes indeedy do! As of December 2006, I have officially completed all of my graduate school coursework. It only t...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Thu, 28 Dec 2006 10:47:00 PST

The Key May Stir My Soul

He is my man, my soul-mate, the puzzle piece I've been missing for all these years. I couldn't find him in my town, or my state, or my country, or even my continent, but through the beauty and serend...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 07:53:00 PST

30 Unknown Facts about ME

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?His drinking.2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?Hee-hee! You really wanna know? August. Yes, in 2006. I'm not -that- grungy!3. Wh...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Sun, 08 Oct 2006 01:11:00 PST

Polydactyl Factoids

At the begging and behest of thousands of you, I now present the Truth behind the Mystery and Intrigue that has always surrounded polydactyl cats. Where did they come from? How did their mutation occ...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Tue, 03 Oct 2006 12:37:00 PST

The Bush Loyalty Quiz!

Here's my results of The Bush Loyalty Quiz (I couldn't be more proud!): "Your score is 0 on a scale of 1 to 10. You hate Bush with a writhing passion. You think he is an idiot, a liar, and a warmong...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Sun, 24 Sep 2006 10:03:00 PST

Hey everybody: Be careful what you put "up there"!!!

Warning over 'dangerous' chemicals in sex toys 8 September 2006 AMSTERDAM  Sex toys contain extremely high concentrations of Phthalate plasticisers which allegedly pose a risk to human health and t...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Tue, 12 Sep 2006 04:38:00 PST

My name ain't Polly, and, no, I don't want a friggin' cracker!

Dear Dimwits of Myspace.com (of which there are countless millions): My name is -not- Polly Dactyl. That is a psuedonym. I know, "psuedonym" is a three-syllable word, so it's kind of a toughie for mo...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Wed, 06 Sep 2006 04:28:00 PST

1,000 profile views = another stupid survey

About Paula...AgenopeBirthplaceNorthridge, CaliforniaCurrent Locationin my living roomHair Color"ash" blondeEye Colorbaby blueHeight166 cmHeritagehomo sapiensYour fearsboredomYour weaknessbeing wea...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 02:26:00 PST

The US government is run by a bunch of nosy snoops.

Do you ever talk on the telephone, or email, or instant message, or send telepathic energy waves, to any breathing human creature who happens to live outside of the US? Well, do you, punk? The secre...
Posted by Polly Dactyl on Fri, 18 Aug 2006 08:14:00 PST