Slinkyminx - ProfilesArchive

About Me

*Quod me nutrit me destruit. *I take immense pleasure in indulging my RISK ADDICTION; after all, you never know how far you can go, unless...you go too far *I've been called "a wolf in chic clothing" *I am a reservoir of useless information *I am known to cavort around the steep sidewalks of SF in precariously high stilettos AND I'm a supreme klutz...do draw your own conclusions on that one *I think both the fiscal & political policies of the USA are a complete disaster, so the only solution that seems plausable is for ME to run the country *Europe should stay out of attempting to make global policy as well - Message to the EU: You are about as useful as a wooden frying pan; member countries should just concentrate on building up a respectable GDP based strictly on vital consumer goods (forget perishables..your food sucks- with the exception of Italian). In other words, SHUT UP and keep making MY METAL, TRANCE, LINGERIE and PORN. Focus on that and I'll have no problem with you :-P *The weirdest compliment I've ever received: You walk the "elegant slut" tightrope like no one I've ever seen". *I shoot metal bands for fun- you can catch my pix at Maximum Metal - www.maximummetal.com/galleries; I don't bother putting them up here because I'm very narcissistic and frankly, I'm here to talk about me *A 15-foot tree resides in the middle of my living room *I'm a labelwhore and very high maintenance *I've got a highly tuned "spam filter"; I tolerate zero BS/ignorance/stupidity; however....being the hypocrite that I am, you are expected to deal with all of mine :-) *I have actually Tivo'ed C-Span programming at one point; just to watch James Traficant; his rug of a toupee and bad 70's leisure suits made for excellent entertainment *If I had my own country, I'd name it "The Republic of Hootenanny" *I'm a STUCK UP MEGABITCH to strangers, but to my friends, I'm just a bitch. *Did I mention I'm a gold digger? (Hopefully this turns you off if you hoped to be "friends" with me) *My biggest asset and liability is my patience *I'm intensely curious about EVERYTHING; I'm a data whore - processing a massive influx of knowledge stimulates my dopamine levels in the same way that porn stimulates men *I love to giggle - a luscious sense of humor is catnip to me *I regularly engage in heated and intense discussions; the burning topic "du jour" up for debate amongst my friends and I: Surefire ways to justify an astronomically high "PPF Ratio" (PPF = Price Per Fuck Ratio). If you show disdain for this conversation, then clearly you: do not have a sense of humor AND are a cheap bastard *I own a Pets.com talking sock puppet *While my friends are saving for their kids' college fund, I'm currently fundraising for my plastic surgery slush fund *I represent the pinnacle of gratuitous consumerism *I like to eat my popcorn with chopsticks *Skydiving is my bootycall and I tend to have multiple airgasms quite regularly *I luxuriate in the United Nations of beauty rituals- I'm from India, indulge in French manicures, Swedish massages, and Brazilian bikini waxes *I love feeling the sand between my toes at Hideaways Beach in Kauai (the sand is different there, trust me) *I entice, enchant, seduce, and devour apex predators with the greatest of ease...
I enjoy meeting new people from different walks of life; if you'd like to make my acquaintance, just be yourself. I love making new friends and finding out what makes you tick. I don't bite. Really. However...people that approach me and behave in a crass/disrespectful manner usually receive the following speech (served with a saccharine smile straight up): "I find your tasteless behavior rather fascinating. Do you have a blueprint for your brain? I'm planning to build an idiot." This is usually followed with an icy stare...(That usually does the trick) *I'm being Fedexed to Hell in a hand basket, and looking forward to seeing many of my wonderful friends there - We'll be holding court in the VIP Circle of Hell- call it "Paradise Regained" *I've had many nicknames- "Trouble", "Princess Jasmine", "Croft", "Morgan Adams", and recently... I've earned the nickname "Tramell"; if you can guess why, bonus points for you *I REALLY want an otter for a pet *The lingering taste of champagne on a man's lips is incredibly erotic *I love to play in warm tropical rain *I believe that every song CAN and SHOULD use more "cowbell" *My maternal instinct only comes out when I see puppies *I think that being "pretty" is something you are born with, but beauty is an "equal opportunity" adjective *I am: sometimes a bon vivant in the kitchen, most of the time a lady in the living room, and ALWAYS a whore in the bedroom. *I love being so comfortable with my friends that we can enjoy each other's company even in silence *I am inspired by the utterly ridiculous *Herb Ritts' "Wicked Game" video for Chris Isaak is my idea of the perfect seduction *I am a very effective cockblock or wingwoman for my friends, depending on what they need me for. *If I could be any Star Wars character, I would be Boba Fett and I'd hang out at the Mos Eisley Cantina on Tattooine...a mercenary. Name your price and if it's high enough, I'll play nice.....

My Interests

Me, Myself and I, laughing with (and at) my friends, psychological neoteny, playing w/my doggie (he's the smoochiest!!), the scent of fresh guava, Running successful Nigerian "Wire Transfer" scams, champagne, strawberries, strawberries & champagne before/during/after a marathon session of "playtime", sketching/painting (preoccupied w/acrylics, but will eventually experiment w/oils), commitmentphobia, attempting to cook fusion cuisine without having the fire department over for "clean up", www.howstuffworks.com, Over-the-knee stiletto boots paired with Alaia micro minis, breaking my nails rock climbing, La Perla/Andres Sarda/Janet Reger lingerie, cognitive flexibility, lychee martinis, pole dancing classes (it's a great work out - I'm serious, people), www.freakonomics.com, videogames, kir royales, the arcane yet hypnotic art of burlesque striptease performances, metrosexual metal, slightly naughty kisses in public that leave me speechless, Nutella (so yummy), crosswords, alpha males, maintaining a consistent air of smugness, cashmere, sudoku, ice hockey, cliff diving, silk, kissing mirrors, the preternatural creaminess of liquid nitrogen ice cream, playfully taunting and teasing you with delicious insinuations - dished out with that knowing smirk on my face, forwarding dumb messages from idiots on MySpace to my friends, picking unsuspecting victims' pockets, flirting with men and women, popping bubble wrap, Balinese influenced architecture and landscapes, bungee jumping, gambling, lip gloss, lipstick, gorgeous lipstick lesbians (women should look like women- END OF STORY), fighting Mother Nature on the aging front, reading, re-enacting Penthouse Forum stories with gummi bears, whipped cream, sleek furniture with Asian accents, hiking, complaining, hiking and complaining simultaneously, gloriously tarty high heels, creme brulee, getting my "geek" on (ie, fiddling w/my iPod nano/MacbookPro/wi-fi setup), finding an aesthetician that does the most painless Brazilian bikini wax possible, using OPM (Other People's Money) to fund my FILTHY GUCCI HABIT, Muay Thai kickboxing, corsets, flea markets, soccer, World Cup soccer, distracting male opponents in games of strip chess, insider trading, extortion, pandering and other nefarious activities...

I'd like to meet:

*Crazysexycool people *If you happen to be one of the authors I have listed in my "Books" section, then yes, there is a very, very, good possibility I will sleep with you (sharp intellect usually supercedes a pretty face for me with the exception of David Beckham- very dumb but extremely hot. I'm still bitter that he married a woman that resembles E.T.). *People who can laugh at themselves; if you can't laugh at yourself, you should not be laughing at other people *People who make origami boulders *Very talented plastic surgeons to keep me in Dorian Gray mode *People that can tell which parts of this profile is BS and more importantly, which parts aren't *People who know how to live in the moment - it's the true key to happiness *People know HOW and WHEN to wink at someone- it's really a lost art...*People who have something to teach me *Individuals who have a bit of Indiana Jones in them; snatching the golden idol from the altar, knowing full well the consequences, relishing the challenge as much as the rewards- risk averse individuals need not introduce themselves; you will bore me, and my time is FAR MORE valuable than yours, I can assure you.
Other people (ficticious/alive/ or dead) that I'd love to have dinner and engaging conversation with: *MLK, *HOWARD ROARK (marry me!) *Captain Jack Sparrow *Henry Kissinger *Chuck Jones, Walt Disney, John Lassiter (okay that's 3 people at once, but there's so much to ask them...) *Dr. Christian Troy *The Barcardi & Cola guys *Borat from Khazakstan TV *Dethklok *Tolken *Tourists with shallow pockets and a deep wad of cash (I graduated Summa from the School of the Seven Bells in Bogota, Columbia -think "Harvard" for pickpockets- I'm currently contemplating graduate studies) *The AFLAC Duck *The 3 Bills: O'Reilly, Wattenberg & Bill the Cat (RIP Bloom County) *The Armstrong & Getty boys- the most hilarious Libertarians on talk radio *Gary Larson *Chaucer *Praga Khan and the rest of the Lords of Acid crew *Empress Josephine, and *Imperia- the greatest courtesan of Renaissance Rome *Arjumand Banu Begum, aka Mumtaz Mahal - the woman that the Taj Majal was built for... a woman that had the emperor so spellbound that he constructed the ultimate monument of love in her honor? I want to be THAT woman.
I AM NOT EVEN REMOTELY INTERESTED IN SLEEPING WITH: 9/11 conspiracy theorists (The Michael Moore Liberal Contingency - you people make my blood boil) *Uninformed hippies that constantly protest whatever lame cause du jour in the middle of the day because they have NO BLOODY JOB *LITTLE men who carry Trojan MAGNUM condoms (liars!) *Democrats and Republicans who have no concept of fiscal accountability (which is....ummmm pretty much all of them) *And finally, people who act like they are from the "hood". If you think that ending words with a "Z" is even slightly cool (ie, "players" like "playaz"), do the world a favor; get yourself neutered or spayed.

Music:

I am the bane of musicians everywhere- I love music and I am extremely tech-savvy...my obscenely vast and blatantly illegal collection of downloads currently include the following artists and genres: Classic Rock, Jazz, Trance (Tiesto, Sakin, Digweed, Oakenfold, et al), 80's Menudo videos (those outfits..ridiculous.), Latin Guitar (Segovia, Lopez et al.), Thrash Metal (Exodus, Testament, Death Angel, etc. ), Rap, School House Rock ("Conjuction Junction, what's your function?"), Death Metal (Obituary, Cannibal, Death [RIP Chuck S.], Morbid Angel) etc., Dark Tranquility, Scar Symmetry, yada yada, Classical (Vivaldi is my favorite), some Hip-hop, Black Metal (even though I'm CLEARLY not of Northern European descent - I dig Satyricon, Emperor, Behemoth- Polish, yes I know..duh. et al.), World Beats - pretty much all kinds of stuff- there's great music in all genres- an open mind always leaves an opportunity to enjoy something new - Armstrong and Getty (talk radio 910am); they make my commute endurable....

Movies:

Memento - The Matrix (the first one) - Belle du Jour - A Fish called Wanda - ALL Monty Python movies - Layercake - The Last Seduction - Amelie - Sex, Lies and Videotape - Fight Club - Conan the Barbarian (in fact let's just include all of Ahnold's 80's action masterpieces LOL) - The Royal Tannenbaums (Go Pagoda!) - Clerks - Sin City - Napoleon Dynamite - Rush Hour -The Goonies (every kid's fantasy adventure!!!) -All 70's Godzilla flicks (Mothra...WTF? Totally USELESS) - Se7en - Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - O Brother Where Art Thou? (I'm a Dapper Dan Man!) - Heathers - Disney (Sleeping Beauty, Fantasia, Alice in Wonderland, Aladdin just to name a few )Rushmore - The Breakfast Club - Gross Pointe Blank - Thin Red Line - Run Lola Run - American Psycho (that book was so disturbing)- Crouching Tiger - and finally, hot sex scenes that stop just short of porn

Television:

Depends on my mood; I usually prefer to read, but thanks to Tivo, I will ocassionally indulge in the following when I have time (which is..never): Nip/Tuck, Happy Tree Friends (so cute, so cuddly, SOOOOO TWISTED), The Food Network, Seinfeld, Fox News Channel (I'm a Libertarian), CNN, Metalocalypse, MST3K (The original haters), Ultraman, The Daily Show, G-Force, OLD SCHOOL Twilight Zone, Headline News, The "Law and Order" shows, Spaceghost: Coast to Coast, Heist, Old School Loony Tunes cartoons, Superfriends, MacGyver (80's stuff is really good times), CSI, The Jeffersons, My Name is Earl (trashtastic), Sascha Baron Cohen's Ali G and Borat skits (he is the master of the cringe moment), The O'Reilly Factor (yeah yeah don't start - he's very entertaining), Dave Chapelle. Oh geez, that IS alot of TV going on here...

Books:

AUTHORS: James Clavell, Niccolo Machiavelli, Ambrose Bierce, Ovid, P.J. O'Rourke, The Marquis De Sade (complete genius), Miguel de Cervantes, Gary Larson, Chuck Palahniuk, Robert Greene, Anne Coulter, Geoffrey Chaucer, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, David Sedaris, Tom Robbins, Tolkien, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Pablo Neruda (soooo sensuous), John Irving, Nabakov, and Bill Bryson. Some Stand Out Titles: The Fountain Head, Tipping Point, Faust, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Atlas Shrugged, The Dune Series, The Devil's Dictionary, The Kama Sutra, On Intelligence, Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything, Lolita, The Oligarchs: Wealth and Power in the New Russia (thx Andrey your brains and looks get me HOT) :-P, Night of the Avenging Blowfish, The Lovely Bones, When Genius Failed: The Rise and Fall of Long-Term Capital Management, Mean Genes, Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard, The Botany of Desire, Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman! (Map of the Cat), Moneyball, Dante's Inferno (Purgatorio and Paradisio are pretty good too), The Virtue of Selfishness (Can you tell that I'm a HUGE Ayn Rand fan?), Paradise Lost, Liar's Poker, I'd Like to Buy a Vowel, MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS: International Herald Tribune, Wall Street Journal, The Weekly Standard, The Washington Post, Wired, FHM, Maxim, The Economist, the ocassional Vogue/InStyle etc. to check out trends. Really, there are too many books and such to list...

Heroes:

*Iconoclasts and sybarites, of course... *People with the ability to make the uninteresting very, very, interesting.... *People who indulge my narcissism...

My Blog

An interesting observation....

I've been burning the candle at both ends with my job and other projects- sleep is a luxury that I hope to indulge in this weekend. In my current state of REM deprivation, my absentmindedness has skyr...
Posted by Slinkyminx on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 11:54:00 PST

Things I've noticed....

1) When people begin sentences with the words,"With all due respect..." they are in fact, getting ready to bestow upon you, loads of disrespect.2) When people tell you that they look like a certain ce...
Posted by Slinkyminx on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The worst birthday present I've ever received...

Now that I think about about it, it was a Slinky. Now I don't consider Slinkies bad per se, but...my more than generous next door neighbor gave it to me. Nevermind that I lived in a one story house at...
Posted by Slinkyminx on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST