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Beerfest

Super Troopers
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Club Dread
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Puddle Cruiser
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3/20/08 BROKENLIZARD.COM IS OPEN

Head over to Brokenlizard.com to check out the brand new website.

3/4/08 RABOY TO DIRECT BROKEN LIZARD’S TOW TRUCK

From Variety.com…

Marcus Raboy has been tapped to helm the urban comedy "Tow Truck" for Our Stories Films and Broken Lizard. Written by Darryl Francis and Dean Ward, story follows two brothers who resurrect a moribund tow-truck business to earn enough money to save their neighborhood from commercial development.

Francis wrote the first draft while serving time at the Wayside County jail outside Los Angeles. He sent the pencil-written pages to manager Danny Sherman, who introduced Francis to comedy writer Ward. Together, Francis and Ward fleshed out the story.

Our Stories' Tracey Edmonds is producing alongside Broken Lizard's Richard Perello and Julia Dray. Shooting is set to begin in late spring.

"(I) have been looking for the right project, so when 'Tow Truck' came up -- being a fan of Broken Lizard (ever) since they did 'Super Troopers' -- I knew it was a great opportunity," Raboy said.

Raboy, whose credits include “Friday After Next,” recently finished directing the Wayans brothers-produced pilot "The Life and Times of Marcus Felony Brown" for VH1. He has also helmed musicvideos for Mary J. Blige, Sting, the Dixe Chicks, Ice Cube, Carlos Santana and Sean Kingston.

Founded in 2006 by Robert Johnson, Our Stories finances and produces urban films in the $10 million-$15 million range.

Broken Lizard's credits include “Beerfest” and “Club Dread.” The comedy group is in production on "The Slammin' Salmon" and is developing a number of projects as part of their first-look deal with Warner Bros.

2/27/08 SLAMMIN’ SALMON UPDATE

Howdy folks! Kevin here with a little Slammin' Salmon update for ya. We wrapped 2 weeks ago and things ended up great. We put a VERY funny flick in the can. It's "Super Troopers" meets the "300" meets "La Vie En Rose." Know what I'm sayin'? Yeah... Tasty stuff.

We had a kick ass wrap party and blew off some steam. This time Will Forte abandoned his German brethren and joined us as we trounced all crew members in some memorable chug wars. I wish I could tell you more about it but I blacked out after my second woo woo.

Now we're holed up in the editing room. Gotta put this thing together. This process of sitting on our asses and eating beef jerky while we argue about whether or not Lemme is funny will go on for a couple of months. We'll have this thing wrapped up some time late summer and (knock on wood) at a theater near you not long after that. So start holding your breath.

Hopefully we can slip you guys some sneak peeks of things as we get further into the process. Until later! K

2/26/08 SOTER BLOGS!

Hey, everybody. Soter here.

If you guys are like me, you have a big, funny hole in your heart where Mystery Science Theater 3000 used to be. And if you're too young to remember, then take a tip from Grampa and check it out. But what's exciting is, I found out I don't have to sit around pining for the old days anymore, like some shriveled spinster. The guys who did MST3K now have a website called RIFFTRAX, whereby you can download their biting, satirical commentary and sync it up with your favorite blockbuster movies. (much like me and the other Lizards synced up Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon with Gone With the Wind. Talk about overrated.) Or you can get picture and hilarious audio already smushed together using something called Divx, which I'm still trying to understand myself. They also have an humorous blog that makes us look like lazy jerks for not writing as much.

So hop over and check it out when you get a chance.

2/13/08 BROKEN LIZARD IN YOUR FACEBOOK!!!

Broken Lizard’s quest to completely take over the Internet has entered its next phase. Become a fan of Broken Lizard Industries on Facebook! We’ll make it worth your while.

2/9/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 25 – LAST DAY OF SHOOTING

Lemme here. Well, we just finished shooting and I must say, I really love this movie. We got great performances out of everyone from the big name celebrities to the one line parts. Michael Clarke Duncan was hilarious and our two leading ladies, Cobie Smulders and April Bowlby, knocked it out of the park. Our old friends Will Forte and Jim Gaffigan were hysterical and our new friends Morgan Fairchild, Sendhil Ramamurthy and Olivia Munn also brought the funny. The Lizard boys were pretty good too (Kevin was a'ight).

Our final day included another appearance by our other new friend, Lance Henriksen, who showed up while Kevin was shooting a scene where he's sitting on the can. Lance was flabbergasted, disgusted, mortified, dismayed, tickled, envious, and fascinated all at the same time. Kevin, of course, could not stop laughing, along with the rest of us. Lance continued to drill it between the eyes, but he could not say the word “noseism,” which we had created just for him. I think he probably has it forever seared into his memory by now though.

Michael Clarke Duncan had finished shooting days earlier and the ladies had wrapped the day before, so this was really just the Lizards and Lance. There's a nice little tradition on movie sets (similar to the team handshakes in playoff hockey) that whenever it's an actor's last day on the set, when they finally shoot their last take, the director announces it to the cast and crew and everyone cheers. So first Jay was finished, then a few hours later, Lance finished, then me, then Kevin and Erik shot one last scene together and were finished, then Soter brought us home as the last Lizard to shoot. Then we drank beer in the parking lot and went home.

Monday we are having our wrap party in Hollywood. I know Will Forte wants to have another chugging contest after we trounced the German team back at the Beerfest German Team Wrap Party in ABQ. It should be interesting, what with all the driving people need to do in LA. No worries, Mink (Erik) and I got a hotel room. But at what price, I ask you? For me, the room will be cheap. For Mink, I cannot say the same. He will pay a heavy tax tonight, for I am horny. For the latin male, which I am, sexo y violencio go hand in hand. I intend to donkey punch Erik so hard in the skull, that he reverts back to his native tongue of Swedish or Norwegian (same thing, right?). Then I'm going to stick his head in the oven. What does this have to do with making movies, you ask? A lot, actually. We go back into the cave tomorrow to begin working on our TV show with Comedy Central and Lionsgate, and also to edit the Slammin Salmon, so we need to clear our heads. This is similar to working out really hard and taking days off to rest, which are just as valuable. (SHUT UP, STEVE!!!)

I'm shutting up. Have a great spring and we'll keep you posted on everything. – SL

2/8/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 24

Lemme in the hizzy.

Just to clear things up, I'm writing this on Friday February 8, 2008 on day 24 of production. It may say 2/9/8 Day 25 up top, but don't be fooled. Aaron Behl of “Ring The Bell” podcasts is being dumb. If it says Day 24 up top then Aaron is doing the right thing. Either way…

… I made out with April Bowlby today and neither of us will ever be the same. Two words: Sex Play Got Rough. I cut her face with my stubble. The blood is still in my ears from the hot flush I got. Do people know that in the Baroque and Rococo period of art, flushed ears and cheeks were considered pornography because they indicated arousal? I was an art major.

After that scene, we had a special appearance from an old friend. Jim Gaffigan came out to LA to do some more work with us. What a delight to see Jim again! He is the cat's pajamas.

Would anyone like to know why we call Kevin “Queen?” It's because back in college he used a royal blue towel to shower with and he'd hike it all the way up to his nipples. Additionally, he had long hair which curled up at the sides and the whole thing made him look like the Queen of England.

Okay, that's a little quickie. Tomorrow is Lance Henriksen day. Lance made me cry in “Powder” and intimidated me in “Stone Cold.” Tomorrow, he's going to make me laugh.

2/7/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 23

Lemme here.

A couple of things to start:

1) I've been told that the post lunch lag is known as the “lunch coma.” So there you have it.

2) I almost apologize for my rant yesterday.

So, I have today off but I came to the set at opening bell to “shadow” Kevin Heffernan. See, I'm trying to direct a movie after this one and I'm in need of some serious learnin'. So what did I learn today? I learned that Paul Soter and Cobie Smulders need to form a comedy group and take their act on the road. It would be a slapstick only revue for sure. It definitely would have killed back in the 20's and 30's but it's still pretty good.

Our investors also showed up today. Our main money fella has been here a few times but today he brought a couple of the silent partners. See, we decided to do this movie independently, the same way we did Super Troopers and Puddle Cruiser. Our main man, Pete Lengyel, is the man who invested in Super Troopers, so we're excited to be reunited with him on this project.

Does anyone have any questions? I ranted myself dry yesterday, apparently, and I've got nothing to say. Tomorrow is my big make out, you all know that. I'll definitely share the dirty details after that. But for now I'm opening up the mail bag, so feel free to ask anything you'd like to know. I'll give an answer to some questions that are always asked… First, it is milk that is stored in Soter's calves. And yes, it's true, Jay was originally a wood cigar store Indian that we brought to life with a bolt of electricity (1.21 jiggiwatts). Kevin's head is made of black forest ham, and Erik giggles when he jerks it.

I'm here with our lovely assistants Jackie and Phil in my dressing room. We're watching the Ducks versus Rangers hockey game. My team, the Rangers, are now down 3-1.

Oh yeah! I got something! Tomorrow, aside from my make out scene, we have an old friend returning to shoot with us. Jim Gaffigan will be acting with Kevin Heffernan. A little trivia: Jim and Kevin used to be bitter rivals back in the day. Now they have learned to love each other. I'll explain tomorrow. Til then, eat a dick.

XOXOXO - Lemdog.

2/6/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 22

Lemme here. And frankly, I'm the last person who should be writing to you all right now. My reasoning: I had the day off today. I had no business on set today. I did end up sauntering in around 6:30PM anyway and caught the post-lunch slack-off. I'll explain in a minute. I want to tell you what I did away from the set so you can all get a full idea of what goes into making a movie when an actor has the day off. So, I woke up around 11:30 and threw an extra hundy at the 3 Asian hookers in my bed for a little “Madagascar Hot 'N' Cold.” We snorted coke and then fired air rifles at the little kids in the yard next door. Hilarious. Then I went out to my car, fully nude, in sunglasses, with a smoke dangling from my lips, to retrieve the open bottle of tequila which was still in the cup holder. I couldn't believe I left my car door open all night and no one took anything. That's the thing about this pussy ass rich neighborhood I live in. It's ridiculous. I also discovered that I must have left the headlights on. The fuckin' car was dead. So I bought another. That's right. I bought another and rolled the dead one off a cliff. It's just money, right? Anyway, I got it together and made it to the set at 6:30 PM. The day had gotten off to a later start than usual because we're shooting “splits” now. “Splits” are when you shoot the 1st half of your day in the daylight, and the 2nd half in the dark. So we (they) got started at 10:30 and lunch was probably around 4:30 or 5:30. Either way, have you ever seen a big snake with a giant lump halfway down it's belly, in a total food coma because that giant lump is the whole pig that it swallowed about an hour earlier and it simply wants to not move a muscle until that giant lump has been even slightly digested or else it will yak the entire meal up? Well that's the way I found Heffernan. Sleepy-eyed and slack-jawed. Lump of meat and potato in his belly. Not moving. But he was still in his coat and tie so he looked somewhat (somewhat) presentable. Anyway, I got there just in time for Michael Clarke Duncan's last scene. Now, you may have been wondering what I'd been doing, drunk driving and doing coke with 3 Asian hookers. The truth is, I had been trying to erase the memory of being covered in Big Mike's saliva. Well, when I saw him, I had to steer clear. I bid him farewell from afar when he was done and we sent him on his way. What a pleasure he was to work with. Did I mention that Morgan Fairchild was a pleasure too? And Lance Henriksen. Well… Lance was something special. I've decided to change my stage name from Steve Lemme to Lance Lemme. Call me Lance. Lance Lemme.

Oh yeah, we also did a fun stunt with a horse tonight. That was cool (not gonna lie - I skipped out before that happened). I also got my hair cut by the hair lady, Karen. Then I flew the coop around 11PM. I wanted to try out the navigation system in my new car. I know the way home but I still wanted to hear that crazy car bitch tell me what's what.

So that's it. Believe it or not, I have the day off again tomorrow so you're all going to have to put up with more of my lies. Can you tell what the lies are in my story? (It was only 2 hookers, and they were from Bulgaria. Can anyone say “hairy?”)

And then… I have a make out scene on Friday! That's right, I'm making out with April Bowlby. Look her up. She's hot. But I'm going to approach this professionally. Seriously, I'm treating this with the same mind set I would use to eat a 4 pound hamburger: I'd furrow my brow and size it up in a technical manner, making sure to get a manly first bite. See, in movies, if you and the actress are not hot and heavy, you have to French kiss, sans les French. Comprendez-vous? No tongue, dummies. Then you are basically just miming eating each other's mouths. Pretending to use the strongest muscle in the human body. THAT is acting, my friends. But Bowlby's been eyeing me up like a chocolate covered twinkie the last few days (that's a Chocodile, ladies and germs), and I think she's gonna pull a fast one on me and slip me a lizard. Not on this date, folks, I'm too savvy for that. I've got a little surprise for her. I don't want to spill the beans now, in case she reads this.

Seriously, don't ever expect me to write anything this long ever again. Tomorrow is some bullshit stuff being shot without The Money. Then on Friday, The Money does his make out scene. Then on Saturday, our last day of shooting, The Money has his last scene with none other than the man himself, Lance Henriksen. What a way for The Money to wrap a movie.

Woof. No mas.

Money.

Out.

2/5/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 21 - UPDATED

UPDATE - From Erik - Olivia may be able to beatbox, but check out what the talented April can do...

Lemme here.

I'm covered in Michael Clarke Duncan's saliva. Whoever says making movies is glamorous has never been covered in Michael Clarke Duncan's saliva. I have to admit, I kind of asked for it. I told Big Mike he could get closer to me in a scene we shot today where he reams us all out (that's right, he reamed out all of Broken Lizard and we took it like bitches) so he got nose to nose with me and covered me in spray. It was okay, though, for in the end I simply closed my eyes and imagined it was that dreamy Sendhil Ramamurthy of “Heroes” who was spitting all over me and that made it all better. On top of that, I didn't really have it so bad compared to some other Lizards.

For instance, poor Erik Stolhanske had to get punched in the ribs by Big Ole Mike today about 10 times, and all he had was a little pad underneath his shirt. Not too bad except that he wasn't wearing it on the first take when the man who played Giant John Coffey in “The Green Mile” popped him in the ribs and dropped him to the ground. And that is how we lost Erik Stolhanske. We're currently taking applications for a new member of Broken Lizard. Stolhanske is pretty fine featured so we're accepting resumes from both men and women. As long as you can play all-American, girl/boy next door, you have a shot. You also have to be as religious as Erik and be able to talk about all up and coming bands with Soter (to hold your own in this arena you must be able to drone on and on about bands who will never see the light of day).

Enough about this though. How 'bout dem Giants, huh? It's funny because every Pats fan has had the same look on their face for the last few days. It's probably the same look I had on my face when I came out of the theater after Han Solo got frozen in that carbon thing at the end of Empire Strikes back AND I found out that Darth Vader was Luke's father (and to a lesser degree, Luke got his hand chopped off). Not to worry, it's a reward for the look of pity and disdain I got from Pats fans when I told them the Giants were going to win in the weeks leading up to this amazing moment in sports history. Hey, whatever, 18-1 is a terrific record and Bostonians should be proud of it. Really. No sarcasm. And what the hey, those Beantowners have had enough success lately.

Okay, I'm going to go wash up.

Today we discovered how low we really are on the sexy meter… Sendhil Ramamurthy (a.k.a. Dr. Mohinder Suresh from the hit television show Heroes) walked on set this morning to play the part of a movie star and immediately women started stuttering, drooling and swooning with infatuation.

Here are a couple of the REAL quotes from some women (and men) on the set…

“He’s such a cool guy… and handsome.” – Jackie Farris, Broken Lizard Industries

“Sendhil’s a very beautiful man. He should be sculpted, his jaw is the perfect specimen of how a man’s jaw should be… but nothing compares to his cousin Jay’s (Chandrasekhar) dankles-- his dainty ankles.” – April Bowlby

“I forget about the breakup of my boyfriend when I look into Sendhil’s eyes.” – Anni or “Pinky”, Wardrobe

“The color of his skin is gorgeous… it’s like caramel. I could fall into his dark eyes for days.” – K-town

“He was more delicious than the seven pieces of key lime pie that we ate in a scene together… but it was his cousin Jay’s ass that took my breath away… that’s what I would really like to eat.” – Cobie Smulders

“Oh… he’s beautiful.” – Thea

“I thought he was gorgeous, delicious and scrumptious like velvet.” – Paul Soter, while jerkin’ it.

“Acting with Sendhil was like starring in an episode of Touched By A Chocolatey Angel.” – Steve Lemme

However, all hope was not lost for us men – we got to watch the beautiful, talented and sharp-witted Olivia Munn – who plays Samara, the Sendhil’s girlfriend, in the movie.

During lunch, she even busted out an amazing skill we didn’t know she had. Check it…

-- Stolhanske

2/1/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 19

MySpace was cool enough to give us a FlipVideo phone to document the filming of ‘The Slammin’ Salmon’… Morgan Fairchild, Lemme and I decided to improvise a scene – enjoy.

-Erik

2/1/08 STRANGE WILDERNESS OPENS TODAY!!!

Hey Everybody!

If you want to laugh this weekend, go see Strange Wilderness. It's so funny it'll make you crap your pants. See the trailer below.

Love,

Kevin

1/30/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 18

Stolhanske here reporting on week 4.

Can't believe we only have 8 more days of shooting.. or something like that. The weeks are flying by because it's been such a blast. Seems like every other day there is someone else who comes with a cameo and knocks it out of the park. I think I've been having the most fun shooting since we made Super Troopers. Since the movie takes place in one location we've really stripped everything down to a lot of playing off each other, fun characters and a ton of physical comedy. April Bowlby and Cobie Smulders round out our cast of regulars (playing waitresses) and have such a knack for comedy - everyday they come up with great stuff and are hilarious to work with.

Tonight I'm at home downing some Advil and icing my bones... lots of physical stuff today. We started shooting a beast of a scene today. Think the one scene alone is about 6 pages long... hopefully we'll finish up by midday tomorrow and keep chuggin' along. Forte is coming back in on Thursday for one of my favorite scenes in the movie... but I don't want to give away what it is. You'll have to check it out when it comes out in theaters near you. Well, it's off to bed -- gotta rest my beat up body after lots of scissor kicks and melee's today. Enjoy a couple stills from the last few days.

1/25/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 15

1/16/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 8

Soter here. It's Day 8 of The Slammin' Salmon and things are moving along at a nice clip. Lots of great physical comedy and grabassing. I think this shit's gonna be funny.

I've got a little break from the action, and I've been looking at the responses and comments on the BL page, so I decided to get everyone caught up on the status of our various projects. Not that we're getting tired of all the mail we get saying "DUDES! WHEN ARE YOU GONNA MAKE POTFEST?!?!? YOU HAVE TO PUT ME AND MY BUDDY ROLO IN IT! WE CAN SMOKE MORE POT THAN ANYONE IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!" I just figured I should let everyone know what da various dillies are.

-SUPER TROOPERS 2 -- We have an outline that we really like and we were starting to negotiate with Fox, but as many of you know, the Writers' Guild went on strike in November, effectively shutting down all development of new material. So no scripts are being bought, sold, worked on, etc. The only reason we could make The Slammin' Salmon is that we had finished the script before the strike. Basically, we really want to make this film, but there's nothing that can be done until the strike is settled. Maybe you can write a letter to your congressman or something.

-POTFEST --Pretty much the same deal. We do have some thoughts of doing this as a totally psychedelic animated movie, and since animation isn't covered under the Writers' Guild, we could sell this if someone wants to buy it. So if the strike is still on when we wrap up filming next month, then we'll see if we can set it up.

-We were also in the process of selling a tv pilot to Comedy Central which we were very excited about. But that too, got boned by the strike. Again, once that's over, we'll jump into that and you'll be seeing us on your small screens sometime this year.

-and some of you have kindly inquired about my movie, WATCHING THE DETECTIVES. I had been told initially that it would be given a limited release in mid-February, but now I'm hearing more like April. Unfortunately that's often the deal with indie films. I'll give you info as I get it, but in the meanwhile, I posted the new trailer below. Check it out. Hope you enjoy.

Always Truly Yours,

-Soter

1/15/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 7

Hey. It's Soter. Week 2 of shooting The Slammin' Salmon, and the blogging duties have fallen squarely on my fingers.

It's lunchtime on Tuesday, and I'm skipping dessert so that I can blog, so I hope you little douchebags are grateful. If you only know one thing about me, it's that I love my desserts. (actually, dessert was carrot cake today. not a favorite. so I would've skipped it anyway)

Let's see.... What's going down on the set?...

Oooh, yeah. Yesterday, I filmed my first fight scene. (not including Super Troopers. I forgot I had one in that film. Actually I had two. Okay, yesterday I shot my third fight scene.) Who was I fighting, you ask? None other than myself (?!?!?!?) Is that a cryptic enough teaser for you? I'll save the surprise for when the movie comes out, but let me tell you that shooting a fight scene can really fuck you up. I got banged over the head with a frying pan, slammed into a sink full of dishes, and had a carrot shoved up my nose. If you think making movies is cushy, then go into your kitchen and try shoving a carrot up your nose, see how you like it. And then I showed up today, only to have the lovely Cobie Smulders tag me in the nuts with a superball.

It's nice to have Heffernan directing for a change. The best part is that it frees up Chandrasekhar to fuck around and goof off between takes, which he never got to do before.

Ooops. I'm being called to set. Maybe somebody will drop a light on my head or something.

We have some exciting co-stars coming in later this week. Morgan Fairchild. Lance Henriksen, and Vivica A. Fox. I'll let you know how that works out.

Goodbye,

Soter

1/10/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 4

Greetings from the set of the Slammin' Salmon. So far it's been amazing. Everyone is doing a great job. Spent the day yesterday shooting with our old buddy Will Forte. He plays one of the diners in our restaurant. Holy crud someone stuck a funny pole up his ass. He makes all of our mediocre jokes laughers. We have many more friends joining us as we move forward. Really looking fwd to it.

Yeah, I know everyone wants Potfest and ST2, but remember people, there's a strike going on. Can't work with the studios. That's why the Salmon will be such a gem, we're doing it guerrilla style.

Thanks for all the kind words. Now I'll get back to work!

Kevin

P.s. We’ve put up some new pics in the photo section. Check them out!

1/7/08 PRODUCTION DIARY – DAY 1

Howdy Everyone. Today's the big day. Today we start shooting the new Broken Lizard movie! (It's about time, right?)

For those who don't know, it's called "The Slammin' Salmon." We play waiters in a high-end seafood restaurant owned by a crazy former Heavyweight Champ named Cleon Salmon. (And played by Big Michael Clarke Duncan). The Champ needs to raise money to pay off his debts to the Yakuza so he institutes a Glengary GlenRoss type contest amongst the waiters. Top selling waiter gets 10 grand, lowest selling waiter gets the shit kicked out of him by Michael Clarke Duncan. Gonna have lots of laughs and some great cameos.

As we shoot, all the Lizards and I will check in regularly. We'll put up pics and some behind the scenes footage for your perusal. So check back and spread the word. The Slammin' Salmon will be coming your way soon.

Kevin

12/30/07 AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM KEVIN…

Howdy folks! Mark your calendars. On Feb 1 Paramount is rolling out STRANGE WILDERNESS. It's a comedy I'm in that was produced by the Happy Madison team and written by SNL alums Fred Wolf and Peter Gaulke. It's about a late night wilderness tv show that goes in search of Big Foot in order to avoid being cancelled and it's some FUNNY SHIT. I'm part an ensemble that includes Steve Zahn, Allen Covert, Justin Long, Jonah Hill, Ashley Scott and Peter Dante. Check out the trailer below. February 1, beeyatches! Be there.
Heffernan

STRANGE WILDERNESS RED BAND TRAILER

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Movies:

Ong-Bak: Thai Warrior. the only good movie of the last 50 years.

Television:

NFL on Tivo. I think Chandrasekhar and Heffernan watch The West Wing. They're always fighting about it.

Books:

What the hell is this? The Spanish Inquisition? Ugh, alright. I think Heffernan reads Tom Clancy. Are you happy now?

Heroes:

Green Lantern, Capt. America, Doctor Fate, Swamp Thing, Gandhi. Stolhanske's favorite superhero is C.A. Jones.