Dear Children
The Big Comeback is on the horizon...
That is all I need to say. All I need to say
Honestly, we haven't been giving you regular updates of how the players in Team TSP have been playing so far this year. So here's a quick recap to bring y'all upto speed:
MICHAEL BOYLE has developed 'inflammation of the syphroxary muscle', or as it is more commonly termed; 'bumtits'
This basically means the tendons in his arsecheeks have swollen massively, so much so, that they protrude the exterior flesh, resulting in small, nipple-like structures, arising on his buttocks
PAUL KELLY has engaged in a minor affair with his uncle. The term 'affair' relates to the uncle's infidelity towards his wife, not Paul's towards his girlfriend, because Paul doesn’t have a girlfriend, despite what he, and his girlfriend may tell you.
JAMES BROUGH has taken the next step towards becoming a 'big boy! :D' by doing a poo poo without adult supervision. The process is said to have gone well throughout the week, except from Thursday, when James had 'runny poo poo' and needed motherly comfort, suffering from a minor case of sore botty.
MICHAEL MCFARLANE has rubbished rumours that nobody likes him by claiming his "mother doesn’t mind him". We followed up this claim, and in written response Ms McFarlane told us "Michael’s gay and I can understand why nobody likes him, because, to be perfectly honest, I hate the wee poof too. It’s not the raging homosexuality which brings disgrace to our family (we are very universalistic), it’s the fact that, despite his many visits to the lady’s hair dye section of boots, deep down, he’s still naturally ginger"
RONAN MCLAUGHLIN has had the most bizarre first few months of 2008. After accidentally entering a competition in ‘Asian Fuckfest Weekly’ Ronan was drawn out as the winner, and was handed the prize: a weekend in Tokyo with Asia’s finest porn star, Thyte Minje, with a penthouse suit and full sexual license with the stunner! An offer which Ronan…turned down. We asked Ronan about his decision in an exclusive interview:
Ronan, why did you turn down the prize!?:
Couldn’t really be arsed
Couldn’t really be arsed with a porn star!!?
I don’t like girls. Pill’s are sound but.
Surely that’s no excuse…
Sound
That answer makes no sense!
Sound man
Why do you keep saying’ sound’?
Seeeeeeeeriously man.
Stop it. In fact I’m just gonna go
Sound man. Am just gettin heavy fucked
Check back soon for more updates
TSP Media Teamx
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