Nate Osworth - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a bear. I like to go fishing and camping. I hate my job at the office, but I've got to earn money .

My Interests

Robots, fishing, camping, antiques, humans, aliens, other bears, ninjas, sofas, sleeping, hats, videogames, pizza, french fries, guns, swords, motorcycles, ghosts, and climbing trees.

I'd like to meet:

Humans and bears. Raccoons too, I guess. And moose. Maybe some ducks. Definitely no skunks .

Music:

I don't really listen to music, just the sounds of the woods around me...and my Fingathing CD.

Movies:

The Matrix trilogy, Fight Club, The Mask of Zorro, The Edge (though the ending sucked), Predator (though it should've been a bear), any Jackie Chan film, Mickey Blue Eyes, What Women Want, The One, Tremors, Men in Black, 300, Big Trouble in Little China.

Television:

Seinfeld, Law and Order, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Daily Show, Drake and Josh, 3rd Rock From the Sun, Futurama. I could go on, but I won't.

Books:

I Saw You in the Bathtub.

Heroes:

Will Smith, Jerry Seinfeld, Fred Fredburger, the Blair Witch, Mike Tyson, The Hulk, Mel Gibson.

My Blog

LEAVE ME ALONE

I went bowling the other night. They didn't make me buy a pair of shoes.Perfect 300. Thanks, Wii bowling.Anyway, I gotta say, winter is clearly on its way. That means hibernation for most bears. But n...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Sun, 19 Oct 2008 03:34:00 PST

Keep your ears open

So I decided to go visit Bud a few days ago. He wasn't home. Where could he have gone? I called his cell phone."Hello?" He answered."Bud, what's up?""I'm in California," he replied."What?""Cali to the...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:59:00 PST

Go somewhere else

My brother finally moved out. But that's only because Debbie moved in. We had been talking about it for the past few days. She would bring it up and I would say, "Let's play Wii golf!" and then she'd ...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:08:00 PST

You’d think she’d be used to it by now

Foxy stopped by today. Haha. I laugh every time I hear her name. And then she usually bites me. Then I usually chase her for a bit but she's really fast and aw fuck it. Anyway, she waltzed into my cav...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:35:00 PST

Green

Well, me and Debbie are officially dating. I watched her jump on a mountain lion the other day and tear its spine out and I just knew she was the girl for me. She then proceeded to wear the spine like...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:02:00 PST

20/20

Debbie and I were cooking up a deer the other day (we shoved the whole thing into the oven. It eventually stopped screaming and started cooking) when we heard a thud at my cave door. I opened it up a...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 02:20:00 PST

No more please

Oh man. What? I just woke up. I'm wearing a tuxedo and I don't know where it came from. Three pots of coffee + two bottles of whiskey is just asking for trouble, eh? Maybe not. I got this sweet tuxedo...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Sun, 31 Aug 2008 10:44:00 PST

More please 2

i wandered into my closet and found a cake. don't know why it was there. debbie dared me to eat it. i had already eaten it though.two pots of coffee!two!
Posted by Nate Osworth on Sun, 31 Aug 2008 11:37:00 PST

More please

ok so it's 1:30 and debbie just dared me to drink an entire pot of coffee. i did. oh man. i got all jazzed and jittery and started chewing on the couch so debbie dared me to drink an entire bottle of ...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Sun, 31 Aug 2008 10:42:00 PST

Coming soon to MTV

I was hanging out with Debbie today and as we were walking through the woods we heard something. I farted. But then we heard something else. She farted. But then we heard something ELSE. Flute music. ...
Posted by Nate Osworth on Mon, 25 Aug 2008 06:15:00 PST