Valentine Michael Mistake profile picture

Valentine Michael Mistake

As that was coming out of my mouth, I knew that it was wrong.

About Me

Loud and dirty, but also tasteful.

My Interests

FUN, Rock and Roll, Food and Wine, Booze in general, Books, Records, Tasteless Humor, the Sewing of Wild Oats, the New Jersey Fun Society, Writing, Fun, Confusion, Fun, and fucking Bubble Gum. I have many tattoos, but I don't have any interest in yours.

I'd like to meet:


I cannot bear so base a method which your fashionable people generally affect; there is nothing I detest so much as the contortions of these great time-and-lip servers, these affable dispensers of meaningless embraces, these obliging utterers of empty words, who view every one in civilities, and treat the man of worth and the fop alike. What good does it do if a man heaps endearments on you, vows that he is your friend, that he believes in you, is full of zeal for you, esteems and loves you, and lauds you to the skies, when he rushes to do the same to the first rapscallion he meets? No, no, no heart with the least self-respect cares for esteem so prostituted; he will hardly relish it, even when openly expressed, when he finds that he shares it with the whole universe. Preference must be based on esteem, and to esteem every one is to esteem no one. Since you abandon yourself to the vices of the times, zounds! you are not the man for me. I decline this over-complaisant kindness, which uses no discrimination. I like to be distinguished; and, to cut the matter short, the friend of all mankind is no friend of mine.
Also, I don't like hats.

Music:

Johnny, Joey, Tommy and Dee Dee, where are you, now that we need you?

Movies:

This is just a little bit...the 400 Blows, Amadeus, Black Sunday, Blazing Saddles, Blow Up, Breathless, Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Caligula, Casablanca, Cemetary Man, Chinatown, Contempt, Dr. Strangelove, the Elephant Man, Fearless Vampire Killers, Hardcore, Head, High Plains Drifter, In Cold Blood, The Killers (1964), Leon, M, Monster Squad, Nekromantik, Night of the Hunter, Once Upon a Time in America, Once Upon a Time in the West, On the Waterfront, Princess Bride, the Producers, Real Genius, Richard Kern, Return of the Living Dead, Romance, Seven Samurai, Shane, Suddenly Last Summer, The Thin Man, Touch of Evil, Wild Bunch, Wings of Desire, Yojimbo, Young Frankenstein. I certainly thought that Donnie Darko was a flaming piece of shit, though every goofball on MySpace seems to think differently. I guess I didn't get it. Also, I believe that people who really dig Jim Jarmusch are mildly retarded. Mildly.

Television:

Deadwood, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Office, Freaks and Geeks, the Uncle Floyd Show, the Partridge Family, the Monkees, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Ed Vs. Spencer, History Channel.

Books:

If you need to list all the books you've read in order to prove your intelligence then maybe you're not that intelligent after all.
I dork out to Y:The Last Man, Transmetropolitan, and Fables.

Heroes:

Andy Kaufman, Saint-Ex, Mel Brooks, Uncle Floyd, James Dean, Cyrano DeBergerac, That Artist Guy, Doc Holliday, W.A. Mozart, The Man with No Name, Bill Hicks, Polynikes, Ragnar Redbeard, Neal Cassady, Sir Francis Dashwood, Bartenders, William Goldman, Lester Bangs, Pete Perret.

My Blog

Patience.

Sometimes I just lay there. For hours. And hours. Patiently... Ever so patiently... Waiting for stripes to go out of style.
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 07:25:00 PST

Check out this event: The Timely Death of Jimtoxicated

Hosted By: Mike MistakeWhen: Sunday Aug 20, 2006 at 10:00 PMWhere: Niagara7th & ANew York, NY 10001USDescription:Mike Mistake Click Here To View Event...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Mon, 31 Jul 2006 12:56:00 PST

Parlor -233 Hammy. Bishops Farewell Tour Recap

This is like the bloggiest thing I've ever written, so I'ma stick it in here.   New Brunswick, we've learned to love you.Our farewell tour stop was a smashing success. The Brimstones covered a Ra...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Sat, 11 Mar 2006 02:03:00 PST

Weird Habits I Have That You May or May Not Have Noticed

Last week Slowhand (my roomate) came into my room after I went to bed to pretend to do the sex in my ass for his amusement because we are mature and stable individuals.  Then he noticed my ster...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Mon, 31 Oct 2005 12:05:00 PST

My period of emotional availability is like a comet, y'all!

Hey folks, I know I'm usually pretty aloof, but check this horoscope out! "Being open and vulnerable is not a state that comes naturally to you -- in fact, it feels downright uncomfortable. However...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Wed, 21 Sep 2005 01:31:00 PST

Fine!

Just Kidding, I didn't write anything! But here's what my about me section used to say... I'm not afraid of anything except boredom. Boredom and BTD. Feed my ego! I, Reverend Romeo Batshit, am a...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Fri, 16 Sep 2005 03:40:00 PST

I Haven't Written Anything in a While

So, obviously this isn't writing.
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Wed, 14 Sep 2005 02:58:00 PST

the big book of Pink Floyd related practical jokes

Page 115 NOT SO COMFORTABLY NUMB Okay, so what you want to do here, man, is to get a buddy to listen to the song Comfortably Numb.  Get him to really listen to it.  Make him FEEL the music.&...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Far Gone Friday DJ Playlist 6/05

Because this is the sort of stupid shit you people care about...60's Educational Film Reel Audio on PsychedelicsTheme From A Clockwork OrangeAl Dexter and His Troopers - Pistol Packin' MamaSanta ...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Scatological Theatre. Next Big Thing.

Characters: Nurse - 20's or 30's. Professional and patient.  White Nurse's Uniform Mr. Havarti - Older gentleman, bed ridden and dying of cancer. Hospital Gown.   Setting: Mr. Havarti's...
Posted by Valentine Michael Mistake on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST