Everyone exaggerates. It's a fact of life. It's a distinct trait of human nature that, for some uncontrollable reason, people feel the need the blow up the truth in order to impress others. Well I am no exception to this rule. In fact, over the last few years I have observed my own strange verbal behaviors and witnessed something extraordinarily bizarre. When I exaggerate, it is almost always by + or - 1. For example, if I say, "Shit, I only got three hours of sleep last night." What I am actually saying is "Shit, I only got FOUR hours of sleep last night" and on the flip side, if I say "Oh my sweet Jesus, I slept twelve hours last night" what I actually mean is "Oh my sweet Jesus, I slept ELEVEN hours last night". I throw the extra one in which ever direction will add to my story. The stupid thing is, what real difference does that 1 make. I have watched myself do this, I have even tried to stop it before it comes out of my mouth, but alas, out it comes. And then I think to myself "Why the hell did I just say that". I can't figure this out. Some say that this is a form of OCD, but it's not like it happens every time, just a lot of the time. Maybe, the truth of the matter is, I am just a liar.
Oh yeah, and I also haven't been able to get the word "pickle" out of my head for the last 5 years. If anyone has any idea of how to make it stop, by all means, let me know. And I don't even like picklesSarah Silverman is Fu**ing Matt Damon
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