Michael Angelo profile picture

Michael Angelo

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Yes, Michael Angelo is my real name. No, I'm not a crime fighting turtle. I'm a 34 year old accountant looking to change careers (I narrowed it down to a humor columnist or a security guard for a beef jerky kiosk) / The great thing about being lactose intolerant is that I don't have to throw back nasty Metamucil when I'm constipated....I just have ice cream / Fact number 287 that I'm not proud of: I've prayed for droughts so I wouldn't have to mow the lawn.

My Interests

Biking, hiking, listening to standup comedy, writing humor essays.

I'd like to meet:

Crazy people who need to be sedated when car alarms go off. That would make my days worthwhile.

Music:

I prefer 70's rock.

Movies:

Dumb & Dumber is the greatest film in cinematic history (I'm being serious)

Television:

TV Bites

Books:

Anything by Dave Barry, Rick Reilly, P.S Wall, P.J O'Rourke, David Sedaris, Nora Ephron, Ray Bradbury, Mark Twain, & John Steinbeck.

Heroes:

Whoever invented the nose hair trimmer

My Blog

Funny nicknames

Earlier, I began to reminisce of an era when I had a posse...friends to share my time with. Those days are long gone and my gang has moved on. In my opinion, the coolest part of being in a tight ...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Thu, 29 May 2008 10:50:00 PST

Vasectomy Anyone? (Open)

By now you all know that the adults on my block are federally quarantined from civilized society. If I were mayor, I'd also rescind their inalienable right to duplicate their DNA. Spring and summer ar...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Wed, 21 May 2008 01:42:00 PST

Brain Space

My friend WB is back(Writer's Block). Unlike most uninvited guests, he stays for weeks rather than days. So I'll link you to a re-post. I know y'all hate re-posts, but if you're like my sister, you'll...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Wed, 07 May 2008 06:36:00 PST

Connect-Eye-Cut (strange accounts of geographic ineptitude)

Greetings. I'm from Connecticut; a small, squarish patch of earth surrounded on three sides by New York, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts. I stress this because I've met many people who know nothing of...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:04:00 PST

Ten Excellent Bloggers

What an incredible week. Four awesome bloggers included me in this pay-it-forward type of tag where we honor 10 other deserving bloggers who touch our core (that sounds dirty).  Those who ta...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:13:00 PST

If you are dehydrated, blame me.

I received an angry, anonymous message from someone who claims to be very religious. Apparently they were upset by "fact number 287 That I'm not Proud of" which was recently added to my prof...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Thu, 15 May 2008 10:01:00 PST

The Cure is in the Cereal

Advertising agencies are comparable to our moms. Both offer bits of wisdom that lack all sense of truth. "Put on a coat or you'll catch pneumonia.", say moms. "Stop poking your privates or you'll go b...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 05:56:00 PST

Being Single is Not a Disease (repost)

I was flipping through a community newspaper and stumbled across a schedule of upcoming medical support group meetings. There was a Breast Cancer Survivor Luncheon, Living With Hepatitis C, Info on MS...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 06:23:00 PST

Calling All Cougars

When I say Cougar, I'm not talking about this: I mean this: A cougar is the common term for a woman who enjoys the company of younger men. But like Santa Clause and the Tooth Fairy, Cougars are myth...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Thu, 06 Mar 2008 01:00:00 PST

Found in my E-mail

This made me chuckle *******Author Unknown******* Excerpts from a cat's diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with  bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly o...
Posted by Michael Angelo on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:27:00 PST