Psalms 40:1-4 1 I waited patiently for the lord and he inclined unto me and heard my cry. 2 He brought me up also out of a horrible pit. Out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock and established my going. 3 He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God, many shall see it and fear and shall trust in the lord. 4 Blessed is the man that maketh the lord his trust!And respecteth not the proud nor such as turn aside to lies.
Numbness Prelude to: My God I Cried
copyright W.J. Lind 2006
Broken spirit and withered
Soul, living in a barren
Wilderness of shattered dry bones
In numbness,
Thirty years of lifeless path without
Direction, driven by the relentless quest to feed the
Hunger of the white ghost. In numbness
As the wilderness took form,
The closet of misery was my
Home, shared only by the
Multitude of voices that
Endlessly occupied my mind
In numbness
In a state of nothingness,
Succumb to numbness,
The mirror didn’t lie. Eyes
Gone hollow inside, where did I go?
I don’t know, my God I cried.
As my knees buckled to
The floor, I cried. Where
All has failed, if you are
Real, can you save me? Because
I can’t feel, my God I cried.
At that very instant, the
Eruption of my soul took vent
Through the waterfalls of my
Eyes, My God I cried.
In a position of the womb in
Which I came, my God I cried.
As the storm Weathered, and peace,
Something I had never known coveted
Me, my God I cried
“Stand up!†a soft voice spoke,
And as the mirror once again
Reflected my face, there was
Nothing but hope. With all my might my
God I cried.
Jesus has saved my life, and my devotion
Is to him as is my purpose, for I give
Him all the glory, all the way.
Therefore today you can bet my God I cry.
I'd like to meet:
SKYY JOY MINISTRIES
I’m writing to share a short summary of my testimony. I believe with all of my heart God has positioned me in this ministry for a very specific reason, my purpose in this is to be a strong kingdom builder and glorify God. I feel nothing but gratitude and humility, for I am truly a living testament to what the mercy, power, and love of God can do in such an unworthy, broken, and tormented soul. I am writing a book entitled the Closet that has a strong foundation. God has moved me to new heights of understanding, that in which has nothing to do with me and is all about glorifying him. I am just a mere vessel, who today can honestly say, “ I am grateful to have lived through each and every torture of mind and body which I endured to bring me to this place and time. I have absolutely no shame in my past as I have truly been born again and set free. My hope is that my testimony and book will influence and help many. In short summary, I was born; daddy left and never came back. Years of abuse in and out of juvenile institutions and jails, where the devil began the slow and agonizing process of dehumanizing me. Once an adult, I found my way to the slave world of the sex industry, where I spent over twenty years. Many years of alcohol and drug addiction that sent me literally into the closet of my home and mind, smoking crack cocaine for over a decade. This short summary can never begin to explain the bondage and depth in which the devil had me. Although, I will say within that decade most of which I had no human contact, I brutalized and tortured myself over and over again. There were many suicide attempts, the last being when I jumped off of a 3 story building. Throughout the course of my life I had broken every bone in my body except my back and my neck. That wasn’t enough; the devil wasn’t done yet, back in the closet for one year, where the devil began his process of killing me. I entered into a state of what I call numbness, in which I couldn’t live, and I couldn’t die.
Attached is a song I wrote which explains exactly what happened to me the day God heard my cries. Since that day, I have never been the same . He took me out of the pit and did the inner work, as I knew I had to do the outer work. I was truly blessed in a way that was not apparent at the time, and that is, for the next year I had no one in my life, and relatively no human contact. I was just alone with God and his word, and not knowing or understanding his word. I was extremely frustrated, but I knew I was changing from the inside out and that it was he that was doing so. I was merely a willing participant to let it happen no matter how difficult. Through prayer and discipline and seeking him through his word, he kept giving me more revelation and wisdom. The more I learned to surrender all of me to all of him, the stronger I became in my relationship with him. Today I believe I am just an unworthy servant that has been led to this particular place and time. Through Skyy Joy Ministries with my testimony and books, my hope is to reach others who are living in the bondage of addiction. Wherever God positions it is all for his purpose in glory, and I am excited, as I love him with every fiber of my being. I thank you for your interest and time in this ministry. I pray that God's love will comfort and bless your life. Always remember there's nothing impossible in Christ who strengthens us.
Love in Christ,
William J. (Billy) Lind
I felt his presence smile inside of me as I cried.
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Books- “The Closet”
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ALL DONATIONS ARE TAX DEDUCTIBLE We appreciate donations in order to assist the youth, men and women transitioning out of the sex industry and drug addiction. Skyy Joy Ministries is a nonprofit organization and as such, we rely solely on individual gifts and donations for sustaining the ministry. We invite you to partner with us, believing in faith that God will meet the needs of this ministry. Again, we appreciate your prayers and financial support. SEND A CHECK PAYABLE TO: Skyy Joy Ministries Inc 526 Wyandot Woods Blvd Monroe, OH 45050 Thank you so much! You are changing lives! Skyy Joy Ministries is registered and incorporated as a nonprofit corporation with the State of Ohio. The organization is preparing their application with the IRS requesting recognition as a federally tax-exempt public benefit organization under section 501 (c) (3) of the federal internal revenue code. Upon approval, all donations are tax deductible, retroactive to the date of incorporation effective 2007. If you are interested in finding out more about Skyy Joy Ministries or would like to have Billy Lind come and speak at your church or organization on his testimony of “The Closet” please feel free to contact Skyy Joy Ministries at
(352) 201-2056. www.skyyjoyministries.com
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Billy Lind - A male Sex Industry Survivor: Category: Life
In order for me to give maximum insight into the world of the sex industry I must go back into the beginning. At age Twelve I was locked up in my first of many juvenile institutions. In that time institutions were the perfect breading grounds for pedophiles. The sexual abuse started there, that's also were the dehumanizing began, and where Billy Lind began to seek escape by wearing many different masks. The masks buried the pain and shame in between institutions I began to use what I was abused with my "body" a teenage prostitute that walked the streets and sold himself as a means to survive.
Attaching myself to the abusers and believing they loved me, deep inside I knew this was a lie. I can remember how lost and empty I felt, but as time went by and Billy Lind was so far burried and hidden away deep inside, the mask was the makeup of all I thought I was. I put on a different mask for every different situation. When you wear a mask you don't have to face yourself or what your doing.
Then as I grew I realized that I could use the mask to have power over those who were paying me for sex. As an adult I started stripping. Back then, there were no male strippers. We were the first group in Ohio. "Man! I thought I had a ride" Hundreds of woman glorifying me and paying me huge sums of money.
At 18 years old I was making more money than my parents. This was all a set up for the enemies big lie. After a couple years of stripping I entered into the world of escort services and porn. This was the beginning of a decent into a state of what I call numbness. I just could not feel anything anymore. The mask allowed me to escape who I really was because I no longer cared who you were or what you wanted sexually from me, as long as you were paying me, I would be anything you wanted me to be. I had a mask for every occasion. If you wanted me to be Snow White and 7 Dwarfs I would find a way to be that. This is were fantasy and reality clashed. You don't know one from the other.
So what do you do? Drugs! On porn sets back in those days, there were always bowls for cocaine on hand. The more cocaine I did the more powerful I thought I was. But everything has a flip side to it doesn't it? After years of Cocaine and Alcohol abuse, living in the sex industry, I started to loose that power. I wanted to say filming a porn video is in no way the same as what the people on the other end of the video are viewing. The ten to fifteen minute act can sometimes take hours to produce. The people on the other side of the camera don't see the twenty to thirty people all around you. They don't see all the cuts from the director. They don't see the bodily accidents that take place. And they don't see, depending on who's shooting or the budget, the dirty set conditions. Nothing is what it appears to be and once the product that you become is no longer profitable, they throw you away like a dirty paper towel.
I don't care what part of the sex industry your in, there's absolutely no glamor in it! "To much time in the spotlight will blind you." As a male survivor I can share theses things today because through the blood of Jesus and my Salvation. I no longer have any shame in my past. This is not so much a human issue as it is a soul issue. I don't care if your selling yourself inner city alley or on a fifty thousand dollar porn set...there is no difference.
Its all prostitution and payed rape. Men are just as victimized as woman in this industry, because it is a soul issue. Unfortunately, many men don't come forward because of a shameful pride and ego. I thank God that I can be a vessel of hope to both men and woman living in the bondage of the sex industry.
Thank you for your time, God bless you! This is not the end of my sharing the events of my past...only the beginning. The voice in the vessel God has given me through his mercy, love, and grace, is always to be continued.
†Love in Christ Jesus† Billy Lind
