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What some people don't know when they first meet me is that I spent 7 years working in the sex industry, driven by extreme financial and medical needs. I thought it was the only way I could survive and that there were no other viable options. Like most women, childhood abuse prepped me well for the sex industry. To say that I was naive then is an understatement. I was 20 years old and a virgin when I started working at my first club--planning only to work as a cocktail waitress to pay for college. Fast forward 7 years.
9 rapes, 6 suicide attempts, 2 heroine overdoses, and 8 car accidents later, I'm still here, and that is not even counting sexual abuse from club managers, clients, and a list of people you might not expect: a church elder, a police officer, an FBI agent, and even the nurse who admitted me in the hospital after a minor stroke.
Most women in the industry hate their jobs and don't know how valuable they are. Over 90% can't make it through the night without drugs or alcohol. I think about these girls every day. I have so much love for them. I wonder how they are. I worry about them. I wish they knew that someone could help them. I wish they believed that they could be helped. It's hard to believe anything good when you have endured the kinds of horrors these girls face on a daily basis.
It has been a year and a half since I left prostitution and stripping and almost a year since my last hospitalization. It would have NEVER been possible were not G-d's love stronger than death. Stronger than the grave is His love and power to save. And His love has been extended to me through other people who donated clothes, homes, and friendship to me, without expecting anything in return. Thank you to all who have helped me and who continue to help me! You are awesome!
If you are in the sex industry, struggling with depression and suicide, a drug addict, or Whatever pain you have....if you ever want someone to talk to, please email me. I am NOT a professional, just one person with a heart to love and pray for people wherever they are at and whatever they are going through! Despite what you believe, you're not alone in the world.
I am no hero. For some reason, G-d spared me from death an ungodly amount of times. Maybe it was just so I would be a voice calling out to those still trapped and suffering, a voice proclaiming hope and a destiny better than that of porn. No one can pay you what you are worth. They would never be able to afford it.
Shelley Lubben is an ex porn star who has been a bright shining light in my life. Her website is an amazing resource for both those working in the sex industry and those who are addicted to it. On her myspace she has a deeply touching slideshow dedicated to the memory of dead sex workers. Click here to see it.
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On one hand, "For my sake the world was created." On the other, "I am but dust and ashes."
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You scored as Neo, the "One", Neo is the computer hacker-turned-Messiah of the Matrix. He leads a small group of human rebels against the technology that controls them. Neo doubts his ability to lead but doesn't want to disappoint his friends. His goal is for a world where all men know the Truth and are free from the bonds of the Matrix.
Neo, the "One"
71%
Indiana Jones
71%
The Terminator
63%
Maximus
63%
William Wallace
63%
Lara Croft
63%
James Bond, Agent 007
58%
Batman, the Dark Knight
54%
Captain Jack Sparrow
50%
The Amazing Spider-Man
42%
El Zorro
38%
Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
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