Michael Gomez profile picture

Michael Gomez

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

What the hell do you want to know? And why do you want to know it? So we can rent movies and spoon? Go fuck yourself. I'm a hateful, bitter, manipulative, skirt chasing asshole. Although I do love Jesus and puppies.

My Interests

Knowledge, movies, comedy, writing, music, vodka, autumn, lust, style, culinary arts, longing, laughter, passion, sexuality, wit, charm, fashion, flirtatious banter, pastries, tile, suede, sarcasm, expression, words, intellect, fresh pasta, performing, hummus, debauchery, decadence, inappropriate behavior, glasses, moans, arugula, cleavage, open toes, secrets, erotica, details, plunging neck lines, red, sushi, memories, talent, cap sleeves, individuality, black, lemon curd, gasps, lower backs, inspiration, corsets, pine nuts, cobalt, bookstores, anything sheer, puff pastry, long lashes, stories, slightly scratchy voices, desire, dark chocolate, textures, cashmere, want, kalamata olives, brunch, women, holidays, denim, espresso, arches, wide leg pants with heels, gifts, olive oil, pouty lips, thongs, events, sweat, brown, tight polos, thunder, mascarpone, umbrellas, wrought-iron, lime, pictures, trench coats, sighs, old churches, t-straps, lowered inhibitions, whole milk mozzarella, the woods, introspection, boy shorts, snow, nectarines, temptation, backless dresses, Calvin and Hobbes, mangoes, seductive eyes, single breasted suits, quickened pulses, vanilla bean frosting, calfskin leather, indulgence, moments, kobe beef, porch swings, pea coats, biting, artichoke hearts, intoxicated bridesmaids, v-neck sweaters, obsession, gruyere, shadows, slip-on loafers, pens, good balsamic vinegar, anticipation, stilettos, pin stripes, thighs, rain, honey, grip, sling backs, upright bass, milk fed veal, brick streets, watches, when a woman cocks her eyebrow wile biting her lower lip, neck ties, awareness, hardwood floors, strapless A-lines, Sunday mornings, spontaneity, goat cheese, playful glances, orchids, sounds, blurring the lines of acceptability, nutmeg, thigh high boots, hand written notes, linen, avacados, strappy wedges, platinum, pinot noir, rubber, wonderment, allure, dialogue, sauteed spinach, stationary, mangoes, abstract and modern art, fireplaces, the white candy sticks that come in Fun-Dip, wet sentences, butter cream filling, the haunting woody mournfulness of a cello, her. The sword of the first amendment: Thoughts about hack comics from the gospel of Bill Hicks:

I'd like to meet:

Other comedians, bookers, promoters, club owners, fans of comedy, artists, film makers, musicians, poets, thinkers, intellectuals, revolutionists, dreamers, lovers, actors, wanderers, dancers, nomads, fashionistas. Who I Don’t Care to Meet: People who like ranch dressing, use cliche phrases like; "think outside the box"and "touch base", talk about the weather, go to Branson, listen to Nickelback, Hinder, 3 Doors Down or any other band who wants to "ROCK... but only minimally because they have to get up early for their big day of Home Depot and Bed Bath and Beyond, drink Starbucks, watch reality TV, like Jerry Bruckheimer movies, own fanny packs, have alot of oak furniture and accesorize with hunter green, go to Applebee’s, refer to minorities as "those people", wear t-shirts depicting wildlife i.e. wolves and deer, don’t drink coffee, own camo, watch "Friends", listen to Fergie, read US Weekly, wear pleated khaki’s and/or braided leather belts, purchase collectible plates, bow at the alter of Oprah, cut the crust off their bread, wear Ugg boots, sit on the same side of the booth on a date,

Music:

Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, Sepultura, Soulfly, Rufus Wainright, Nickel Creek, Allison Krauss and Union Station, The Beastie Boys, Doug E. Fresh, Michael Jackson(pre Bad especially Off the Wall), Curtis Mayfield, The Beatles, Al Green, Willie Nelson, N.W.A., Public Enemy, Johnny Cash, Hank III, The White Stripes, Danzig, The Misfits, Sting, Maxwell, Madonna, Dianna Krall, The Supreme Beings of Leisure, St. Germain, Amos Lee, Mazzy Star, Ray LaMontagne, Damien Rice, Mos Def, Bill Withers, Elvis Presley, Carole King, Nick Drake, Rage Against the Machine, The Nat King Cole Trio, Chet Baker, Theivery Corporation, Jackson 5, Danny Elfman, The Police, Led Zepplin, Stan Getz, Joao Gilberto, George Michael, Korn, Slayer, James Taylor, Harry Connick Jr., Miles Davis, Sade, Modest Mouse, The Reverand Horton Heat, The Rolling Stones, Cypress Hill, Howard Shore, Fionna Apple, David Bowie, Zero 7, Amy Winehouse, Tenacious D, Metallica, Duke Ellington, John Williams, Cold Play, Simon and Garfunkel, John Coltrane, The Shins, Portishead, James Brown, Too Short, Justin Timberlake, Dick Dale and the Del-Tones, Eryka Badu, Geto Boys, Black Sabbath, Link Wray and His Raymen, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Marvin Gaye, U2, Pink Floyd, Earth Wind and Fire, Prince, Dean Martin, Jimi Hendrix, CCR, Etta James, Sam Cooke Do The Evolution

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Movies:

Goonies, Uncle Buck, Office Space, 25th Hour, Tombstone, Ghostbusters, Rambo: First Blood, Old School, Bad Santa, Resivoir Dogs, Edward Scissorhands, Whale Rider, Braveheart, Tortilla Soup, Star Wars, Pulp Fiction, In America, The Station Agent, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, Kill Bill, The Great Outdoors, Winter Passing, The Squid and the Whale, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Chocolate, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Predator, Saving Private Ryan, The Shawshank Redemption, Talidega Nights, Sin City, 300, The 40yr. Old Virgin, Spaceballs, Blazing Saddles, Oceans 11,12,13, Goodfellas, What About Bob, Contact, Taxi Driver, Terminator 2, Platoon, Hero, House of Flying Daggers, The Big Lebowski, The Cooler, Dazed and Confused, Life Is Beautiful, Napoleon Dynamite, Big Trouble In Little China, Tim Burton's Sleepy Hallow, Superman II, Batman, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Garden State, The Jerk, Match Point, and my favorite of all time: Almost Famous Clip

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Television:

Seinfeld, Twin Peaks, America's Test Kitchen, Fawlty Towers, The Office, 30 Rock, Mexico: One Plate at a Time, Absolutely Fabulous, Saturday Night Live, Family Ties, What Not to Wear(don't judge me), Keeping Up Appearances, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, All in the Family, Robot Chicken, G.I. Joe, Voltron, The Andy Griffith Show, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

Books:

Layout made by Stevo Even more Rotten

Heroes:

The King...

My Blog

So... my soul died a little the other day.

D'Bronx pizza has always held a certain place in my heart. It's not the typical "Little-Pappa-Hut-Fathers" you take home on Thanksgiving to meet your mom. No, D'Bronx pizza is the dirty Italian girl f...
Posted by Michael Gomez on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:04:00 PST

A discussion about comedy.

For every room you play where the crowd hangs on every word and the laughter flows like audible chocolate down Willy Wonka's delicious waterfall, you play tons of shitty bar gigs where drunks yell at ...
Posted by Michael Gomez on Fri, 21 Dec 2007 07:40:00 PST

Fuck Oprah and Dr. Phil

Did something happen while I wasn't paying attention? When did Oprah become the new messiah? I hate to break it to you but Oprah didn't march on Washington, free the slaves, refuse to give up her seat...
Posted by Michael Gomez on Thu, 13 Dec 2007 08:13:00 PST