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Stephen

Kiss my ultra mega ass

About Me

My life is not as interesting as reality television, mostly because it's fake. For many years I lived under the impression that I was a robotic samurai whose master had been slain, so I traveled the spaceways for years searching for his killer. Then a series of women named Dorothy broke my heart and the dream died. Upon waking I was surprised to find that you were there, and you, and you, but your hair was green. When I was a little kid my favorite movie was the Wizard of Oz, I asked for it by the name of Dorothy, can I please watch Dorothy now?

My Interests

Music, Movies, Muppets, Cartoons, Sleep, Girls (sort of), Writing, Stimpy (of Ren & Stimpy), Ren (of Even Stevens), Hockey, Ninjas, Comics, the Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles, the Beastie Boys, Poetry, Orange Juice, Chocolate Milk, Allison Mack (um.. because), Hip-hop, Photography, Production, Cows, Soft Beds, and Robots, definitly robots.

I'd like to meet:

Dungeon Master from the original Dungeons and Dragons cartoon as I think he will be able to tell me where I am and what I have to do next.

Music:

Calla, Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, Mr. Lif, the Beastie Boys, El-P, the Arcade Fire, DJ Shadow, the Strokes, Death Cab For Cutie, Bright Eyes, Cannible Ox, the Long Winters, the Mooney Suzuki, the Postal Service, Cibo Matto, Starlight Mints, Mos Def, Rival Schools, the Raveonettes, the Black Keys, the Opus, Talib Kweli, Outkast, the Coup, Weezer, Tenacious D, Buddy Holly, Lake Trout, Eagles of Death Metal, Nellie McKay, Radiohead, Muse, Nada Surf, Black Star, Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Ray Charles, Doves, 311, the Deftones, Prefuse-73, Tortosie, the Beatles, C-Razy Walz, Live, the Darkness, Bloc Party, NaS, Tegan and Sarah, Craig Mack, Kings of Leon, One Line Drawing, Pinback, Phantom Planet, Guided by Voices, Edan, Jimi Hendrix, Forward Russia!, Coldplay, N.E.R.D., N.O.R.E., Scarface, Elvis Costello, Bjork, Zion-i, K-os, Dinosaur Jr., Kenna, the Paper Chase, No Luck Club, Air (French Band), Josh Rouse, Aqueduct, Sondre Lerche, Counting Crows, Michael Jackson, Aesop Rock, Aveo, Linkin' Park, Big L, Res, New Order, the Pixies, My Morning Jacket, Esthero, and many, many more...

Movies:

Fight Club, Kicking and Screaming, Punch Drunk Love, the Princess Bride, Fox and the Hound, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Black Hawk Down, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Star Wars, Twelve Monkeys, Brazil, Seven, Alien, Predator, the Prestige, Saving Private Ryan, Mean Girls, Miracle, Citizen Kane, Dazed and Confused, Children of Men, the Royal Taunenbaums, Shrek, Princess Mononoke, the Brave Little Taoster, Labrynth, Rear Window, Clockwork Orange, Master and Commander: the Far Side of the World, X-Men, Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Big Fish, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the Virgin Suicides, Rehquim for a Dream, Gladiator, Forrest Gump, Toy Story, Bully, Super Mario Brothers, the Big Lebowski, Chasing Amy, High Noon, Ran, Rashomon, Animal House, School of Rock, Trapped in Paradise, Wayne's World, Conan the Barbarien, the Terminator, Back to the Future, Minority Report, 28 days later, Heavenly Creatures, Lost in La Mancha, and many, many more...

Television:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Chappelle's Show, Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central Presents (when it's someone good), Seinfeild, the Simpsons, Futurama, Smallville, Iron Chef, Freaks and Geeks, Cowboy Beebop, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Kim Possible, Siffle and Olly, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Fillmore!, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Friends, Malcom in the Middle, Justice Leauge, and Clerks.

Books:

I read alot.

Heroes:

I find I like the bison in the park, a lot actually. They're pretty cool, and pretty sad. I think about them and how sad they are sometimes, and find it somehow reassuring.

My Blog

Now that's what I call logic!

Does anyone know who calls the music on the Now That's What I Call Music series music? I work at a record store but I honestly have no idea how this descision is reached. Because I certainly can'...
Posted by Stephen on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 01:56:00 PST

A sticky subject...

I've recently been wondering: (besides the obvious nominal one) what is the difference between glue and paste? Here's the evidence as I currently see it:-glue = a sticky substence one ingests by sniff...
Posted by Stephen on Thu, 24 May 2007 06:08:00 PST

Put up with...

When you're really good at putting things off, it gets to be difficult to put anything on. Recently I noticed how often I put things off, such as: papers, kettles and other people. And yet there are s...
Posted by Stephen on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 03:04:00 PST

On the warlike nature of modern comedy...

I was just realizing the other day how violent most comedians are, they were constantly saying things like, "I was slaying." or "I killed." or "Heads were rolling." Someday I hope to meet a non-violen...
Posted by Stephen on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 04:39:00 PST

More reasons it sucks that I'm not yet famous...

For my intro to cinema production class I fake pitched a film called Blood Oranges about a vegan girl and her vampire boyfriend.Then today I scan some trailers at the apple website and find this....
Posted by Stephen on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 11:36:00 PST

A haiku.

I co-wrote this and wanted to share. It won in the head-to-head haiku deathmatch and is by far the best haiku I've written in at least a year. Mist Covered Lowlands: To bond, allow Silverback to stic...
Posted by Stephen on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 01:43:00 PST

Soy un homosexual...

(That intro line should be read to the tune of "Loser" by Beck. You know you know the reference).This is possibly the greatest worst article ever. Not that I support soy bashing, but gee, what fun thi...
Posted by Stephen on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 02:28:00 PST

Way bad at math...

2q + x = -Something.Pretty sure I'm the only person I know who can always find a negative in a positive.
Posted by Stephen on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 01:15:00 PST

A long way to go for a pinhead reference...

My hair does not grow fast. It has been at least four months since I last trimmed it, and over a year since I had anything in the way of a drastic hair reduction, and yet the glorious monster hair I'v...
Posted by Stephen on Wed, 04 Oct 2006 12:37:00 PST

When buffalos fly.

Having just feasted upon winged buffalo, I must admit I do feel a pang of sorrow knowing that the buffalo that live near my new apartment do not have wings and will therefore never escape their sprawl...
Posted by Stephen on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 10:13:00 PST