Where you've seen him: Working it in Le Sport Sac, wearing a garment bag and jelly sandals in print and on the catwalks. Single, taken, looking? This jet-hopping, Prince-of-all-you-can-eat-buffets claims he doesn't have time for a girlfriend, but he claims to compulsively masterbate and often weep while doing so. Other talents: FatMaleModel knows a thing or two about dancing. Watch him shake his thing with Ashanti in her "What's Love" video. He's the black girl in the background with the large ass. How he got started: The FatMaleModel (affectionately known as "Bruce" to those in the know) began like many an aspiring model, by falling for a modeling-school scam which turned out to be a cover for a prostitution ring stationed out of an abandoned orphanage. Undaunted, he moved to Toronto where he was spotted, passed out in the gutter with a pillbox hat on holding an empty jar of PCP, by a scout and signed by a local agency. However, the city was too small for this handsome buxom semite. He relocated to New York and was turned down by nearly every agency in town after they discovered his obsession with young Asian boys that have small hands and long, flowing hair. Finally, Ford Modeling Agency signed this studly strutter, but he was still unable to find work. Then he was spotted drinking thousand island dressing and eating urinal mints in the restroom at the Port Authority in New York City. Although this explains little about his rise to prominence, it explains much about his torrid breath. Why he looks so good: FatMaleModel's daily regimen includes bathing in gravy, tit-fucking himself, and stealing danishes from family owned bodegas and running at full speed away from the youngest son who works the register. His first true taste of fame came via the Burberry campaign. Shot by the larger-than-life photographer Mario Lopez (of AC Slater fame), he shared the limelight with supermodel Kate Moss and managed to only puke on her tits once during the shoot. He then went on to do much-coveted photoshoots for L'Uomo Vogue. He was the magazine's cover and had the worst body odor on the set. In a span of less than a year, The FatMaleModel has worked with designers such as Marc Jacobs, Vivienne Westwood, Valentino, and Gucci, among others. Although his mother still breast feeds him and he is plagued by his Loofa and cocaine addictions, the FMM remains the hottest thing since pedal pushers. With those soulful and oh-so expressive eyes, unmistakable charm, the talent to project well for the cameras and ability to alter his very looks, a dirty ass, voluptuous man-breasts, and a penchant for soiling himself at just the right moment, this fat fuck is the epitome of today's male model ideal. He is a master of turtlenecks, including: ribbed, rolldown, cable-knit, festive, mock turtlenecks, cotton turtlenecks, interlock turtlenecks and mock cotton interlocking turtlenecks. So if you're wondering who the hot Brazilian smoldering in the Versace ads was, then check out Mr. ManTits on the side of the nearest city bus gliding past you. Still flying at the highest editorial levels, FatMaleModel is a current must-have.Click below to buy my rap group's new album. It is epic.
These are my rap group's music videos. They are delicious.
"Sexual Perversions"
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"Lotion In the Basket"
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