I could never forget her. Years passed by and I went on doing the dumb-ass motions of my stupid-ass, boring life. I had thought I was past all this crap because the dreams had stopped. For a while. The dreams took a pause when I was able to get a civil e-mail back from her saying that she was ok, and doing well in Washington State. Another year. The dreams started up again, and this time with a vengeance – the likes of which I had never seen. I became concerned. I tried to find her on MySpace… Facebook… LinkedIn… Yellowpages… Wasn’t happening. Did the cessation of her virtual existence entail a cessation of her physical existence? Extremely concerned. So I said “fuck it.” I broke the boundaries of space and time. I went back to the Sephiroth. The fundamental teachings of Judaic mysticism. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed that I would see her or hear from her in some way, shape or form. I mixed a bunch of religions together. I slashed my wrist and made an inverted pentagram on the floor of my apartment. I threw salt over my left shoulder. I smashed a mirror and walked under a ladder. And I said “Please, God, let me hear from her. It doesn’t matter what it takes. I’ll do anything.” I woke up the next day with an extreme hangover. I was alright, though, because I had the next three days off. So, I cracked another beer and went about the business of opening all the envelopes of all the bills that I never intended to pay, and then logged on to the World of Warcraft. Another month went by… A successful run in Kharazhan. My guild was all yelling “Huzzah!” in the vent. But there was a sound at my door. A sort of scratching sound. A sound that could be a cat, but cats always “meow” when they want in. This thing didn’t “meow”. I was totally drunk for not having eaten in two days, so I stumbled off my chair as I went to the door. Finally, reaching the knob and opening it, was my lost love. A ribcage with a few limbs attached. The remnants of a few rotting organs spewing spores of putred foul. A loose intestine snaking its way in the hall. Loose pieces of skin like hard leather falling from a once-perfect face. A half-disconnected jaw dropped and a voice cracked out in the tone of a creaky gate… “You wanted me… Here I am…”-ZA simple charm will master time,
A cantrip clean and cold as snow.
It melts upon the brow of thought,
As plain as death, and so as fraught,
Leaving it's implications' rime,
For understanding makes it so.
The secret of its spell is trust.
It does not change or undergo
The transformations which it wreaks--
The end in silence which it seeks--
But stands forever as it must,
For the cause of sequence makes it so.
Such knowing is the sap of life
And death, the rich, ripe joy and woe
Ascending in vitality
To feed the wealth of life's wide tree
Regardless of its own long strife,
For plain acceptance makes it so.
The silent mind does not protest
The ending of its days, or go
To loss in grief and futile pain,
But rather knows the healing gain
Of time's eternity at rest.
The cause of sequence makes it so.
- The Mahdoubt
Stephen R. Donaldson
Fatal Revenant
The Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant

God. Did I fuck my profile up or what? Never get straight out of bed, start drinking, and try and add to your profile. It'll all end in tears. I know I have a backup somewhere.

Emergency note: I was just grocery shopping at Village Corner Market, here in Detroit, and even though they had re-arranged everything, I found everything I needed except for my Banquet Pot-Pies. Now, get with me on this. They are all I eat. In fact, I ate their whole last shipment. So, I sez to the girl at the counter: "You know, I found everything I was looking for, except for my pot pies. You know Big Daddy's gotta have his pot pies." She says: I'm sorry, they were all recalled. I sez "WHAT? Why?". The bagger chimes in and says "Ecoli.". I looked both of them straight in the face - which is extremely hard to do since they were both at a 120 degree angle, but I managed somehow. Anywho. I asked again if they were serious, and they assured me wholeheartedly that they were. So, perhaps your favorite writer is infested with Ecoli. Funny thing is, I've never felt better in my life.
Alright, I'm sick of dealing with all the changes with the interface, the Beta version of the Profile Editor, and all things MySpace except for all of you gorgeous women with the huge knockers hanging out all over the place, but lovingly, teasingly tucked in so that we can't see the nipples, and so your wonderful pictures continue to stay here. Hey. If you weren't here, I woundn't be here. You give me inspiration. You continue to remind me that even though I live in the Hell-hole of Detroit, somewhere, out there, there are fine-ass looking women like you. It aint here though. With that, I sign off of my MySpace failed editing campaign, and I soul-merge with my level 70 Orc Warrior on World of Warcraft's Lightning Hoof's server. My name is Balthazarg.

BICHES AND HOES!!!

Damn! I told myself today was going to be the day I was going to be responsible. I wasn't going to do the ol' Jim Morrison "Woke up this morning and had mahself a beee-yo, biiiooootches". Failure to achieve objective, captain. The dishes haven't been done in weeks. The trash is stacked so high, I am no longer scared about the insulation for this coming winter. It occurs to me through bleary eyes and really poor spelling that I haven't updated this page in over a year. Why is that? Oh yeah. World of Warcrack. I gotta stop playing that game. Not. But, I get back here after a year, and I see that all the links to my PhotoBucket pages are dead. The pictures are still there, but the links are dead. What do they want? Money? Barking up the wrong tree here, biches. I aint got none. So I guess y'all aint getting no pictures. That's ok. Writing this tripe is WAY more fun anyway. But, I haven't started my rant yet. We knew we were getting somewhere, didn't we? Alright. Deep breath, everybody. Here we go.
1. DirectX 10 only available on Vista? What the FUCK is up with that? You CANNOT tell me we cannot have DirectX 10 on Windows XP. This is just another fucking ploy from Emporer Bill Gates to get us to all buy Vista. I got news for you, kiddies... VISTA SUCKS! I was at a friend's house last night with a fresh new computer right off the shelf with a freshly, factory installed version of Vista. I tried to load up Wordpad. It said "Out of Memory". You know what he had loaded? Internet Explorer. Fuck Vista. Normally, this wouldn't bother me. But have you SEEN DirectX 10? My God. It's gorgeous. It's bigger than all of us put together. I think if Emporer Bill is the philanthropist he thinks he is, he should get off his heavenly pedistal and make it available for us mortals with Windows XP.
2. Cold Fusion. Where is it? Most of the world's problems could be solved if we had cold fusion. No more lying about weapons of mass destruction for oil, because we wouldn't need it. I think if we all put enough money together, and if some of us can sober up long enough, we can figure it out. You can count me out of the first part, cuz I aint got none. You can also count me out of the second part - see the first part.
3. Randy Moss getting traded? What the fuck is up with that? Go Vikes! Woot! Brent Phavre blowz N4dz!
4. Why am I NOT being laid right now? See parts A and B of item number 2.
5. I've got writer's block! There are 2 ways we can handle this. I can smash my head into a brick wall, or I can have another beer. Think I'll do both.
6. I have Torret's Syndrome.... FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
7. Anyone see the Van Halen concert? It fucking rocked. Took me a week to recover. And as soon as I recovered I started drinking again. And here we are. Oh, the twisted web we weave.
8. My whole body's an erogenous zone. This universe just plain turns me on.
9. Anyone got a car for sale? And a monitor? And a light saber? I need all three, and I need 'em right now. Any single women out there? I can handle insanity if y'all got the big guns. Baby hungry.
You scored as Simon. "This may come as a shock, but I'm not very good at talking to girls."
Simon
69%
Wash
63%
Kaylee
63%
River
56%
Mal
56%
Book
56%
Zoë
56%
Jayne
44%
Inara
44%
Firefly: Which Big Damn Character Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

This just in!

Anyone who says anything bad about George W. Bush, whether a U.S. Citizen or otherwise, is immediately considered a terrorist, by our current ruling power in the White House. More and more, things that happen on a day-to-day basis are falling under the auspices of "homeland security" and "terrorism", whereas, before 9-11-2001, this crap happened all the time. Now, I'm not going to get into movies like "Loose Change" and "Illuminati" Parts 1 & 2 or Books like "Behold a Pale Horse" by William Cooper, Milton. I aint gonna start.

Lately, I've been listening to a lot of W.R.I.F. in Detroit, MI, and some N.P.R., and even I (a non-political activist) cannot bury my head in the sand forever. There's a great guy you guys should listen to, and in his own words: "Don't listen to me and try and become a Peter Werbe clone. Listen and then do the thinking for yourselves."

You can find his site at http://wwww.peterwerbe.com

I mean, why do it, right? Why talk about it? There's nothing we can do about it, right? One of the things that I respect about Peter Werbe is the fact that he knows that he is laying his life on the line by running his air-show and sending you the facts. He also knows, especially under the "Internal-Terrorists" "Ammendment" that was passed a week ago that he can be held (and tortured, and killed) as a terrorist. But, he still runs his show with the same intelligence and the same sense of humor he always had, even in the face of all this stupid-ass adversity.
So, hats-off to Peter Werbe, and WRIF for sponsoring him, and if he's going to lay his life on the line for the original principles on what this country was based on, and not the fascist regime it's turning into, I will lay down my life as well.

So, regardless of the fact that the picture I'm trying to scan in will work or not, the fact is that my uncle died in that whole 9-11-01 event, in the North Tower. I could sleep at night if I thought it were an outside threat from Islam, or whatever. Problem is, it's looking like our own government did it. Now, it couldn't have been G. W. Bush, right? He's way too stupid. He never would have won the elections at all if they didn't rig them. So, who's behind the power that's got the power? I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine. He says "The JEWS!". I say "The Illuminati". Probably the same. Join us next week when we find out what's really going on.

I have a favorite new band.

Cradle of Filth.

Now, I'm a fairly Christian person myself, but, there's something about hearing the organ music of souls that are damned and descending. There's that tragic element to it that really grabs me by the nads. So, while I'm still fighting to ensure that my soul is not damned, it's sometimes nice to hear music from good bands that are going through the same thing... or not... Anyway, you've gotta love Cradle of Filth. I'm gonna tell you why.
Their rendition of Mr. Crowley is Mr. Crowlier than Ozzy did it. Their Crowley might even be Crowlier than Crowley himself. When I listen to this, the hairs over my entire body stand straight up. My fangs grow longer. My hair stops falling out. I feel a sense of power I haven't felt since...
These guys rock. But, I'm biased. I'm insane. I can hold my left hand out and think "I feel cold" and then my left hand freezes. And then, I can hold my right hand out, and think "I am burning fire", and then my right hand starts to burn. It's awesome. Don't know what to do about it, but it's nice to have that in my repetoir.
Cradle of Filth rules. I was an old Choir Singer for the Church of Christ, Grosse Point, MI, and I know what it is to rock spiritually. This may not encompass my eventual spiritual goals of getting into Heaven and taking with me anyone who will join me, but in the mean time it's nice to rock out and jam. One of the reasons why I fell in love with this song so hard right off the bat is because I'm a HUGE King Diamond/Merciful Fate fan, so I love the organ music with the Angelaec Choirs, the Hosts of Heaven/Hell, the throbbing bass, the fucking awesome guitar solos, and the drums. It grabs me where it counts.
Cradle of Filth is probably inspired by a little Korn, a little Oz and Rhandy Rhodes, and - originally - Mozart, and then, way before that... A little Jesus, and a little of that ol' Serpent in the Garden... But, aren't we all?
Original Sin, my friends.
Mr. Crowley, what went wrong in your head?
Mr. Crowley, did you talk to the dead?
Your lifestyle to me seemed so tragic
With the thrill of it all
You fooled all the people with magic
You waited on Satan's call
Mr. Charming, did you think you were pure?
Mr. Alarming, in nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred, manifest on this earth
Conceived in the eye of a secret
Yeah, they scattered the afterbirth
Mr. Crowley, won't you ride my white horse?
Mr. Crowley, it's symbolic of course.
Approaching a time that is classic
I hear that maidens call
Approaching a time that is drastic
Standing with their backs to the wall
Was it polemically sent?
I wanna know what you meant.
I wanna know...
I wanna know what you meant.
Their MySpace page can be found at http://www.myspace.com/cradleoffilth
I Fell In Love With A Chick That Doesn't Even Exist! Bastila Chan - Jedi Knights of the Old Republic It's really gotten that bad, has it?
Re: Bastilla {My Love},
Now, I'm hearing all this talk about MY woman, Bastilla. Quit talkin' about my girl! Don't make me turn her battle meditation on your ass!
Let me just say this. I consider myself a relatively sane individual - or, at least - I used to. But because I played KoToR 1 in the wee hours of the night, mixing coffee with beer until the cows came home -- and they never came home -- apparently, my mind was somehow left open to some form of suggestion. I don't know how it happened -But somehow, somewhere... along the line... I fell head over heals in love with Bastilla.
This was even before she turned dark. Having no woman in this Prime-Material Plane, my heart naturally succumbed to her many charms. I don't know if it was her face, her eyes, her cute little nose, that cute English accent (nicely played by the actress, Jennifer Hale, BTW)... I couldn't sleep... I couldn't eat.
Now, guess what happened to me when she was tortured for a whole week and finally turned to the Dark Side?
My insomnia and inability to digest food turned to ghost-vomiting food that wasn't even there. What do they call that -- a "dry -yack"? A fully "monochrome yawn"? A shadow of a technicolor projectile vomit? A shape for something that has no shape?
BUT! (I know... I digress...) today... I am a happy man. It took FoREvEr... But... My baby's back. It took several tries, but My Baby Bastilla is by my side again.
After that, I quit the game. Screw Malak. All I wanted was my Baby Back. I've already won.
BASTILLA FOREVER!!!
-ZaRd0Z - 133+ z0r R0X!
PS: Or am I just in love with Jennifer Hale? Or am I in love with Jean Grey? It's this whole twisted conundrum... That's how it hit me so hard. Three stories: The turn of Jean Grey into Dark Phoenix... The fall of Jennifer Hale into Dark Bastilla... The Fall of the First Light of the Morning into Satan... It's all the same... It really grabs at my heart-strings. Any help out there...? Anyone?
PPS: Still... You can imagine my relief when my little Jenny came back to me. Jesus Saves! You just hit ALT-F, and then "S"!!!

This just in from Kahoa

dude....i just have to let u know....ur not alone. every one of the things u say i kno what u are talking about. i quit playing too after i saved bastilla, who cares about malak. and uh, don't be gettin mad at me, cause i know i get jealous when my friends talk about bastilla haha. i don't think i'm in love with jennifer hale...i think it's who bastilla as the character was developed as...tho her voice could definitely have helped. but she is like my dream girl. it is sad she doesn't exist :(. if only there was a girl like that in real life. i thought about that. the fact that she is a jedi makes her a lot more attractive too, and jedis don't exist. She probably just liked you cause u were a jedi too. And so, with this knowledge, it may help u with breaking away from bastilla.
but as for now, my desktop background is a screenshot of when she tells u on the starforge "I love you too, with all my heart"
so sad....
Peter Parker Sez:I've been jumping from building to building...
And all I could think of was:
"Gee... I hope I make it through this.
'Cuz, I just want to see Kirsten Dunst one last time."
There are definitely some Leo's in the atmosphere.
I've gotta stop working late at night in those nuclear radiation laboratories...
I'll fall back on what my Father always told me:
"Get out!"
(After that...)
With great Power comes Great Responsibility.
Not much to report. I'm into computers and I play a little guitar. Just recently bought an X-box, so I'm getting into Soul Calibur 2 and Kingdom Under Fire. I'm a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer + Internet, currently doing odd construction jobs while trying to break back into the technical field after a two year hiatus. This externally imposed "hiatus" occured when my father was dying of cancer, making me leave the great city of Minneapolis to move back to my crappy home city of Detroit. - an affliction from which he has subsequently healed. I'm currently single. Women tell me I'm cute but not gorgeous - which is fine with me. I'm told I have an excellent body, but my eyes are slightly too close together and my nose is slightly upturned. There's an easy explanation for that -- I'm better than you.
Marvel Comic Group, July 27 02686 75c

WHAT IF

The Phoenix

Had not died?

I am the Watcher. One of a race of timeless beings who have dedicated themselves to observing that transpire on all the myriad inhabited worlds across the multiverse.
For eons, my purview has been Your Earth, and my innate objectivity has been tempered by a fondness for its people and its heroes.
Over the Millennia, I have witnessed countless events that have changed the course of Earth(tm)s history, and have wondered what if things had gone a little differently, at some crucial point
Lately, I have peered into alternate realities-- worlds that spring into existence at critical moments in history, witness for yourselves, mortals, one such pivotal moment.--Mary Jo Duffy " Writer --Stan Lee " Marvel Comics Group, LTD
What's your favorite....
Beverage (non-alc) ? Heh... Is this a trick question? I guess Gatoraide.
Beverage (alc) ? ANYTHING with alchohol in it. I'm flexible. Especially if it's from SPACE. Like ME.
Color ? Blue... Or purple... or somewhere in between. How about azure? Azure sounds nice.
Food ? Solid protein powder with brand-chained amino-acids. From space.
Item of clothing ? Can I pick a couple? Ripped-up jeans... Combat boots... Flak vest. Goggles. 30-yat six. A couple incendiary grenades, a case of beer... and a fifth of Jack Daniels. Oh yeah... From SPACE.
Meal of the day ? A few tachyons... and maybe a nuetrino. But I'm trying to lay off the neutrinos...
Feature on yourself ? Pick one. Can I reflect this survey back at you? I have a new spell I just wrote. It's called Mirror Reflection. Warning: Don't try it at home.
Quality in a guy/girl ? Women: I like a little meat on the bones. I don't mind if they're a little top-heavy. Sometimes this is a good thing. We like that. All of the people in my head prefer this quality. And the one that didn't got shot.
Phrase ? "It's full of stars." - Arthur C. Clark, 2010
Song ? Oh, man... How am I going to answer that? ALL OF THEM.
Musical Artist/Band ? ALL OF THEM. Especially if they're from Space. Does that mean David Bowie? He's in there somewhere.
Sport ? Air-Force.
Movie ? Anything having to do with Science-Fiction, Science-Fact, History, Horror, and... I'm a broken record... SPACE.
TV Show ? Anything EVER on the Sci-Fi Channel.
Radio Station ? All of them. You wouldn't believe the radio stations in my head.
Type of Chocolate ? Chocolate with alchohol in it.
Eye Color ? Wow. All of them.
Do you/Have you ever....
Have any pets ? Me.
Smoke ? LOTS.
Drink ? LOTS.
Have any piercings ? No.
Have any tatoos ? No.
Cheat on a boyfriend/girlfriend Never. Been accused of it though. But she was paranoid, and definitely not from space.
Had sex ? LOTS. But it was a long time ago, and DAMMIT I miss it.
Gone streaking ? Not yet. How about tonight? Can we do it in SPACE?
Gone skinny dipping ? Yeah. Now that was fun. But, once again, that was a long time ago. Where have all the flowers gone? Long time passing?
Been to Europe ? Yes... All over Germany, and part of Switzerland. ROCK.
Been to an island ? Several. Lots of islands around Michigan and Canada, and Isla Mujares off the coast of Cancun. I'm not going to mention the islands I've been to in Space.
Had stitches ? Lots. I tend to get wounded. But I heal fairly quickly.
Broken any bones ? My pinky toe. It healed.
Been stabbed/shot ? Not yet. Have a feeling it's coming soon.
Slept until after 12:00 ? Many times. As Merlin said: "The last stunt I pulled took me nine moons to recover."
Stayed up all night ? I've stayed up for a week before. I saw spiders. From another dimension. Hey, at least I didn't say "from space".
Danced like a whore ? How does a whore dance? And is she from Space?
Hooked up with 2 people in one weekend ? Yes. Guilty as charged. But, at least we knew what we were getting into before we got into it. It was awesome.
Turned down a dare ? I try not to play the game too often.
Which friend....
Is the funniest ? Where's that mirror?
Is the prettiest ? Where's that mirror?
Is the most handsom ? Where&..39;s that mirror?
Is the loudest ? Where's that mirror?
Is the craziest ? Where's that mirror?
Is the most shy ? I'm shy as hell if I'm NOT drinking. If I am -- watch out. Trust me... I prefer drinking. Especially drinking in SPACE.
Is the most loving ? Where's that mirror? Is it in space?
Is the most understanding ? Where's that mirror?
Is the most boring ? Throw away the mirror. Just don't break it.
Is the richest ? Definitely not me. My money is in space. And in the future.
Is the most athletic ? Are we talking military? Or civilian life?
Is the most cocky ? Heh.
Is the biggest sex icon ? Heh x2.
Is the most wordly/cultured ? Don't know, but I'd better go the other direction.
Do you look up to the most ? I like the potential of what I could be if I actually concentrated for once. Instead of existing in space.
Do you tell everything to ? There are some things I just plain can't tell anyone. You would never believe me.
Has the best clothes ? Screw clothes. Let's get naked.
Has the best house ? I blew up my own house long ago. Now I exist in... s-p-a-c-e.
Would you ever....
Eat pizza with chocolate chips ? Depends if we're drinking tequila.
Kiss someone of the same sex ? NEVER.
Cheat on someone you love ? NEVER.
Run away from home ? I hitchhiked all the way from Detroit to Key-West.
Lie to your parents ? Yeah, once. And DAMN, did they make me regret it.
Lie to your boyfriend/girlfriend ? Only things to insure their own protection...
Lie to your best friend ? Is this a repeat of the above question?
Give a homeless person money ? I do it as often as I can. But, I really aint got a lot of money.
Run from the police ? Never. Better to fess up right away, and admit I'm from space.
Bungee jump ? I'm afraid of heights.
Sky dive ? I'm afraid of heights.
Cross dress ? I'm afraid of heights.
Be an exotic dancer ? Nope.
Walk out of a restaurant without paying ? No, but I was sitting at a table with people who did.
Scuba dive ? Snorkling. People don't trust me with the real equipment.
Go rock climbing ? I just climb up with my bare teeth.
Go spulunking (caving) ? You know? I've always wanted to.
What do you think of when you hear....
Eminem ? Good guy. Survivor. He grew up on 8 Mile. I grew up between Cadieux and 7 Mile. Pretty close.
Bologna ? Whatever.
Hott ? Women.
Orange ? Halloween.
Real world ? What is that? Space.
Fuck ? Well, let me check my schedule.
Jack ? Sh*t. Jack left town.
Cucumber ? Heh.
Hip-Hop ? Hey, I'm from Detroit.
Uniform ? My 2nd. Lieutenant Angel-Air-Force black leather jacket?
UniCORN ! ? I think they're from space.
Rainbow ? Rainbow Bridge? Jimi Hendrix. Someone I really want to sit down and have a beer with.
Clown ? Me after a few beers.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Warning

Queensryche
Album: The Warning (1984),
Classic Masters (2003),
Greatest Hits (2000)
I remember I was asking why
And someday you said I'd know
All these years, of fighting hard
And now it's finally come too close
I can't believe it's now happening to me
Oh, couldn't it wait a few hundred years
Destiny can't rest you see, now it's time
Time to cry your tears! Now cry!
The child of centuries, forgotten in time
You talk in circles of rhyme
Seer of places future and past
The warning you gave us is surely our last
Warning.
Behold the child, his pointing hand
Is raised in solemn grace
His eyes once wide with learning wonder
Now leave stains upon his face
Now see the hands of the working man
He's leaning back against the wall
Once busy hands are idle now
Standing ready for the fall! Our fall!
The signs will come as days past by
For those that claim to see
The blind will stay not choosing to die
Not believing the visions I've seen
Warning.

I'm Free

The Who

I'm free... I'm free,
And freedom tastes of reality,
I'm free... I'm free,
And I'm waiting for you to follow me.
If I told you what it takes
to reach the highest high,
You'd laugh and say 'nothing's that simple'
But you've been told many times before
Messiahs pointed to the door
And no one had the balls to leave the temple.
I'm free. I'm free.
And freedom tastes of reality
I'm free... I'm FREE.
And I'm waiting for you to follow me.
Chorus:
How can we follow?
How can we follow?

One Of Us

Joan Osbourne
If God had a name, what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
if you were faced with Him in all His glory?
What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, God is great.
Yeah, yeah, God is good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if God was one of us,
just a slob like one of us,
just a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home?
If God had a face, what would it look like?
And would you want to see
if seeing meant that you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets?
And yeah, yeah, God is great.
Yeah, yeah, God is good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if God was one of us,
just a slob like one of us,
just a stranger on the bus trying to make his way home?
Just trying to make his way home, back up to heaven all alone.
Nobody calling on the phone,
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome.
Yeah, yeah, God is great.
Yeah, yeah, God is good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What if God was one of us,
just a slob like one of us,
just a str