Alf

Myspace Tom, erased my profile so I gotta make another one. My name is Alf - I am the original myspace alf...accept no substutes. I came to this planet back in the 80s to live with this nice ass family. Our next door neighbors were the Seavers. Ducaucus in 89. So anyway. I used to try to eat their cat all the time cuz I love to eat cats. Most people come up to me every now and again and are all like "hey Alf, I hear you like to eat pussy." And I'm all like yeah real clever douche bag. But to be totally clear, I only eat cats...i fuckin slay the gash. Some times I'd try to nail Willie's wife or eat his cat and he'd boot me right in the ass. That shit hurt. I moved from the suburbs about 2 years ago and i now abide in an abode which is a loft in NYC. I listen to metal. And i stopped doing collect call commercials cuz that asshole baseball player Mike Piazza kept tryin to stick his sausage in my face. Alright I'm outta here. ALF out!