Angry Samoans profile picture

Angry Samoans

sex and cocaine sex and cocaine sex and cocaine it's BriTnEY time!

About Me

back off with the Buffy tools and there won't be a problem ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// THE UNOFFICIAL ACCIDENTAL ANGRY SAMOANS DISCUSSION BOARD aka "what did i do to piss off Metal Mike?" has 1001 subjects covered including 101 other bands on its 300+ (400?) posts // WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR MUSIC PAGE BACK IN EARLY 2006? eh well the post-buyout zom-bot censor software nuked the page. won't/can't be put up again = i was told the Violent Femmes had their page nuked 3 times and counting! the Circle Jerks page disappeared, the Germs disappeared, etc. THERE ARE SOME SONGS up all over other Angry Samoans pages that aren't ours (in the MUSIC section).THIS PAGE IS RUN BY THE ANGRY SAMOANS. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE THROUGH THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. (booking questions should go to the Covert Booking page down in the friends section below). NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. NO BOOKING WORK IS DONE ON THIS PAGE. I'M JUST THE MERCH SPECIALIST (me, metal mike, the skinny old guy in the WNBA basketball jersey on the center microphone)...all those piles of cool/wack girls/boys/men/toddlers t-shirts (one of a kind from our huge local thrift stores before they get the varous angry samoans screenprints or logos) piled up on the merch table for $5/ea that you can only find at Samoans gigs or my front side room in Hayward, California...that's my thing man, not booking. i'm not a booker. i sell t-shirts and sometimes i sing a little. dude, our songs are so easy to sing/play ya could do them blindfolded...we fuckin' rock. 30 songs in 37 minutes playing time = it's still a 1980-81 time machine whenever we get on stage! ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////// let me repeat, who does this page? who else would be stupid enough to? Google "metal mike" + "DaPhNe & CeLeSTe" ("&" not the letter "and") and maybe that will enlighten you. If you're not convinced (that us is really us), Google "mike saunders" + CREEM + "sir lord baltimore" and run for the hills screaming. In fact, Google "humble pie" + "mike saunders" + "heavy metal crap" + "ROLLING STONE" and six months earlier, I intended it as an insult right out of my 1970 freshman college chemistry class textbook ( = "leaden metal" and "heavy metal") periodic table of elements...but then the great Black Sabbath issued PARANOID the next year and tricked everyone (actually, no one else in America used the term in print in the music press before the year 1972) into thinking "heavy metal" would be cool for longer for a couple years. yep = it's all our fault! Krokus, Grim Reaper, Winger, Testament and Death Angel...every crummy "heavy metal" band of the 80's = all blame traces to me! honest truth! omg i have to go kill myself. it had nothing to do with Burroughs (some book called Nova Express, who the hell ever read a book by Burroughs? not me) or Steppenwolf ("thunderbolts and lightning / heavy metal thunder") (from 1968 radio hit Born To Be Wild), it was just some 18 year old college freshman pissed off because he'd wasted TWO WEEKS ALLOWANCE on a couple of import Humble Pie albums that were complete shit (esp As Safe As Yesterday Is), wanted revenge, and pulled an appropriate insult (stiff, turgid, leaden = "leaden metal" and "heavy metal," ie the clods in Humble Pie's rhythm section on that first import-only lp)...oh, and had access to the popular underground mag Rolling Stone review section as a frequent record reviewer. "heavy metal-leaden shit-rock" and "27th rate heavy metal," i called them. yep, it was me. and that was ground zero of "heavy metal" as a term describing a style of music. Nov. 12, 1970 newsstand date for all you record collectors. Although i completely agree with anyone who posits that "Good Times Bad Times" opening Led Zeppelin's first album in EARLY 1969 is a clear-cut musical ground zero (of the evolution of heavy rock into heavy metal during 1969-1971). ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////// If you're really really reallly brave, Google "metal mike" + "HiLaRY DuFF" or Google "BrItNeY" + "metal mike" (yes that britney) and send us an IM from the mental asylum. yes we like "that bubblegum shit" better than hardcore. go suck on an Archies album, kid. ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////// DUMBASS QUESTIONS WE DO NOT ANSWER: /////////////////// "can you put me on the guest list?" no we won't. guest list is for crew and my help at the merch table. go steal the money from your mom's purse. ///////////////////// "can our band play with yours?" no you can't. ///////////////////////////////// "are you too stupid to know how to work HTML?" yes, duh! ///////////////////////////////////////////////////"are you ever going to play () Denver?" no. we play California where all the beautiful people are. well, we might play all over Texas one of these years (cause I went to school there). and we played Orlando, Jacksonville, Miami, and St Petersburg/Tampa last spring just to piss the rest of you off. yea we played Spain/UK/GERMANY a couple summers ago, but why go back to big Europe gigs when there's Lancaster, Fresno, Victorville, Bakersfield, Hemet, and Mira Mesa to go be a weekend punk rock party band at? (and drive home before the sun comes up). we'd rather watch TV (or go to work for that big $$ money $$) than "tour." get over it. //////////////////////////////////////////// "is Motley Crue gay?" yes. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////// "are you really metal mike?" no. i'm your fucking granddad. and we're going out to your dad's woodshed, right now. because you've been such a dumbass.

My Interests

General: making sure grunge music stays dead /////// MUSIC: c'mon, everybody knows music went to hell the day after Buddy Holly died! /////////////////// for instance, the LA punk bands circa late 70's: give it up guys, no one ever liked you and no one ever will! punk died when Sid croaked! the UK mags all briefed us on that fact! didn't you hear, New Romantic(s) is the new big thing! (all record collectors who own the BAGS We Don't Need The English on the original YES LA comp, raise your hand and go to the head of the class).

I'd like to meet:

the person who killed grunge music and shake his hand --------------then, party down till dawn 2001 to celebrate with the immortal UK2000 awezsome pop stars Daphne and Celeste ----------

FRIEND NO. 10,000! LAST ONE EVER!

----------------------------------------------------------An gry Samoans LINEUPS FAQ: Arkansas refugees and Univ of Texas at Austin graduates (four years apart), Saunders brothers Mike and Kevin founded this bunch of malcontents in Summer 1978, in the large garage/practice space/crash pad (Kevin's) at 14922 Basset Street, Van Nuys, California, where Mike and three other guys (including Dave Roeder of excellent LA power-pop band the Tremors on Bomp Records) lived up in the main house... For the in-depth full story of the "official band meeting" where the band was named shortly before its first gig (on October 31, 1978, opening for Roky Erickson and the Aliens at the Rodeo Theatre; the second gig being the next night, a Sunday SF Mabuhay all-LA bill of Shock/The Zeros/Angry Samoans), see guitarist Kevin's recounting and other highlights/lowlights of the band's nutty first year on http://www.angrysamoans.com. --------------------------------------------------------Bill Vockeroth joined on drums on a Saturday afternoon in August 1978, and has played every gig (save only one in summer 1985) for the band since. In 1996 he was given additional singing duties and, a la classic Toxic Reasons, gets out front and sings about five songs during the middle of every gig (with VOM drummer Mike switching off in reverse). ----------------------------------------------------------- Todd Homer joined about two hours later the same day on bass, August 1978, and played ten full years of gigs through our first 924 Gilman St. gig, December 1988. He subsequently recorded/released about five albums with Larry Robinson, as 60's-psych act Mooseheart Faith, all recommended.----------------------------------------------- Todd was then replaced for three years, 1989 - 1991, by bassist Heith Seifert. -----------------------------------------------------------G regg Turner (like Mike an ex-VOM member, co-vocals in GT's case) was standing around the day Bill and Todd signed up and "jammed" with Kevin and Mike on "Two Tub Man" and "I'm In Love With Your Mom." "What's he do?" "We're not sure." "Huh?" "What do you mean, huh?" "Huh?" He wound up singing some, like in VOM, and once he learned guitar was immediately pressed into duty as a guitarist starting in early 1980 (for the last six songs of any set, Mike ditching axe and switching formation to lead singer proper) and taking over as second guitarist permanently for eleven years upon Mike's depature in July 1980.------------------------------------------------------- Gregg played all Samoans gigs (except when he was sick) through December 1991 (after which the band lasped into one of their many short vacations/hiatuses from regular gigging, except it became the longest one by far). He disappeared from the state of Califonnia a little more than a year later, with no forwarding address or phone number furnished to this day. He has recorded/released three albums since then, as the Mistaken and then as the Blood Drained Cows. ------------------------------------------------------------ Mike quit after just two years, in July 1980, when he got a big job promotion and relocated 400 miles northward to Hayward Vesper Hospital job's town of Hayward, CA (about 10 miles south of Oakland...ie in the EAST BAY, as in Creedence Clearwater, 924 Gilman St, and Green Day. We're trying to forget about Rancid), where he lives to this day (some two addresses later, all rent control). ----------------------------------------------------Mike was replaced from late 1980 through summer 1981 by Jeff Dahl (on lead vocals), who lasted almost a year (through the peak of the band's "blacklisting" at all LA venues that were within about 20 miles of Hollywood, due to power-mad-vermin-impersonating-a-bad-DJ Rodney Bingenheimer's quite serious attempt to exterminate the Samoans (starting in late 1979 with a threatened lawsuit of "$500,000 in punitive damages," followed by other threatened lawsuits, all of which were used as xerox fodder to make gig fliers). Seems the world's worst DJ was pissed because the band had apparently implied that the great one was a "pathetic male queer" and a pedophile (?? the two accusations are contradictory--and this from a band with THREE college graduates, in late 1978) in the tune "Get Off The Air," so he had X's lawyer Jay Jenkins threaten to have the first Samoans EP "injoined and taken off the market" if they dared to record this peaen to Hollywood's most famous male groupie. In reality, all he (Rodney) could do was strong arm Lee Ving's producer credits into removal (he had already temporarily blacklisted Fear in 1978 when Lee goofed on him in a 1977 Slash Magazine interview right after the release of Fear's "Now You're Dead" 45) for ten years until the album's resissue on Triple X Records. Yes, it is a true Hollywood urban legend that during that most unpleasant year of 1981, nefarious scammer Cookoo's Nest/Costa Mesa club owner Jerry Roach sent the Angry Samoans' $100 gig fee (after playing a second-billed slot to TSOL) to Rodney, as a "peace offering." --------------------------------------------------------- Anyway, Jeff Dahl found out that playing in the Angry Samoans in 1981 was about as pleasant as having your head pounded with a double-sized hammer each morning upon awakening, and left sometime before or after Labor Day, 1981. -------------------------------------------------------- Mike rejoined (on vocals only, until 1989 when the band reconfigured to a four piece, to this day) in December 1981 for reasons that make no sense to anyone including himself--since he lives 400 miles away from Los Angeles. Basically it was to help get the half-finished BACK FROM SAMOA album finished (only seven of the fourteen tracks that were finally used had been recorded, and only three of them had vocals on them, contrary to Gregg Turner's bullshit stories about that album, oh wait that's anything delusional numbskull Turner's word-vomit back-spews concerning anything factual...to this day Phd Bonehead thinks/tells interviewers the 800 bodies at the Boston Channel gig April 1983 were 2,000! and this nimrod's a MATH PHd!), and then ehh one thing led to another. right, a sane person would've just taken their songs with them, reformed a up-to-standard Mach 2 lineup of the band in their East Bay backyard, and not had to travel 800+ miles roundtrip to every gig for the last 25+ years. --------------------------------------------------------- Founding guitarist Kevin Saunders left in July 1979 to go to grad school at Cornell University (and let it be noted that Harlan Hollander of the Tremors filled in for four gigs, and that X-8 of Flipside fanzine was one of the early Summer 1979 auditionees for the guitar job). Kevin was replaced in September 1979 by P.J. Galligan from Ventura (and formerly of unrecorded punk circuit band the T.U.M.O.R.S), whom at that point in time was possibly one of the five best punk rock rhythm guitarists on planet earth (two of the others quite definitely being Greg Hetson and Greg Ginn). PJ lasted until Fall 1984, whereupon he was replaced on lead guitar by Steve Drojensky (formerly of RF7). Steve likewise lasted five years. He later played in all kinds of bands (including Fifi on Triple X Records). ------------------------------------------------------------ Remaining original members Bill and Mike considered doing Lee Michaels/Frosty type gigs as a two piece in 1993 (when Gregg Turner's phone turned up dead, with no forwarding address), but this was about eight years before the White Stripes so nothing of this type transpired (during years 1993 - 1995). And the White Stripes are lame, so why would we wanta do that anyway? Oh wait--Lee Michaels/Frosty. (who at least rocked a little). ------------------------------------------------------ In Spring 1996, Alison Victor (formerly of the Guttersluts, and SF Gargoyles, and later AC/DShe) joined on lead guitar (and East Bay local and former Chabot College 3rd string varsity quarterback Mark Byrne, formerly in 924 Gilman punk band AK-47, joined as 5th Wheel guitarist/MC/bunny thrower) for two and a half years of gigs through September 1998. ------------------------------------------------------- Bassist Julia Altstatt (also from the SF Gargoyles) played the "northern california" lineup's first gig at UC Davis in May 1996, then moved back east to Washington, D.C. Mike Alvirez of Oppressed Logic filled in for six months, followed by Adrianne Harmon from Vancouver, Canada, who came down for the first six months of 1997 gigs. Tony Palmer (also from the SF Gargoyles final lineup, with Alison) played bass in 1998 at the final gigs of the Bill/Mike Alison/Mark "northern california" lineup (which gigged at every all-ages small town/venue within 200 miles of the Bay Area, including Oakhurst, Gilroy, Turlock, and even Sonora out near Yosemite Park). ----------------------------------------------------------- In October 1998, Jonathan Hall on lead guitar (formerly of the Porno Sponges on Jem/PVC Records, then later on many recordings with the Kings of Oblivion and Backbiter) and bassist Heith Seifert (see above, the 1989 - 1991 bassist replacing original member Todd Homer) joined up for five years of Southern California (and occasionally elsewhere) gigs, up through the band's first European trip ever ( = germans like California punk rock much, and yes the crowds in the homeland were BIG) in June 2003.-----------------------------------------------------Da ve Teague and Rick Dasher from the Dickies started playing our gigs on bass and lead guitar in November 2003 till present, and it was an honor just playing on the same stage as them. Those two guys smoke! (musically) ( = kick ass). Dave quit playing guitar in any bands except his own in late summer 2005, so Jonathan Hall came back/filled in for five months until the next semi-permanent angry samoans 1st guitarist (there've been seven now) Kevin Joseph joined in February 2006. ---------------------------------------------------Except for Tony Conn (who is impossible to explain) in Oct 1978, and some guy named Scott who played bass for a few gigs in 1979 before Heath Siefert showed up, that would account for every live body who has ever played a Samoans gig--oops, except for Mark Aber from Aggression who played drums at two gigs in Summer 1985 (Bill had quit for a year after a big fight with bassist Todd, then came back). And some fake "Angry Samoans" gig that Gregg Turner played in Santa Fe, New Mexico (where he was teaching college calculus to non-math majors, we were told) during the late 90's with local musicians (we will pay top price for a board tape, video, or even detailed description!). ------------------------------------------------------- The band never "broke up." Me and Bill just didn't feel like doing a Lee Michaels and Frosty routine. We sure could've. But for some strange reason, "Gas Chamber" sounds better with four guys instead of two. --------------------metal mike, hayward, california / december 2003 (and later updates) page 192503 posted DEC 2003 yep ground zero of this new netwoiking world

Music:

when the neat "hidden music player" that Dave Moore set up one this page (see below playlist) bit the dust some time ago, that put things into limbo for a while. until now the REIGN OF TERROR SUMMER 2007 courtesy the four DPR pages below in the Friends section, aka "DuTcH PoP" ie modern era "Bubblegum Dance" (see its very own Wikipedia page, yep the new age of pop/dance music now has its very own codified term thanks to the website http://www.bubblegumdancer.com. and that is how we roll in Gayward california when we have Aqua or Ch!pz or Djumbo on the stereo at 115 decibels with front door wide open to let in the breezy 75 degree mid-summer weather huh.(the old hidden music player playlist that was kinda cool if you like hearing the Circle Jerks and Kylie Minogue in the same music sentence).CIRCLE JERKS Red Tape AVENGERS The American In Me A*TEENS A Perfect Match BLACK FLAG Fix Me URINALS Ack Ack Ack Ack NIKKI CLEARY Summertime Guys WEIRDOS Solitary Confinement DILS You're Not Blank (live) JONAS BROS. The Year 3000 WEIRDOS Destroy All Music LIVEONRELEASE I'm Afraid Of Britney Spears CH3 I Got a Gun HANNAH MONTANA Best Of Both Worlds THE BAGS We Don't Need The English NENA w/KIM WILDE Irgendwie Irgendwo Irgendwann (Anyplace Anywhere Anytime) STEPS Say You'll Be Mine KYLIE Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi, Turn It Into Love, I Should Be So Lucky DICKIES Gigantor X Los Angeles HANNAH MONTANA Who Said THE EYES - TAQN / ROSE FALCON Up Up Up GERMS Lexicon Devil X We're Desperatemy only requests that didn't turn up seem to be Randoms/Let's Get Rid Of New York, Simpletones/I Like Drugs, and Shock/This Generation's On Vacationfor the scorekeepers = that's 13 LA 1977-82 singles, one Avengers (12") track, seven Radio Disney era tunes, 3 international hits from the first Kylie album, and a couple latterday foreign hit singles (Nena, Liveonrelease). no album cuts. all 45 singles (or the Avengers 12" single/ep) or "hit songs."if you want 1971 heavy metal instead, just stop by and we'll get the 8-track tapes out (there's lots) Lights Out / San Fernando Valley hall gig 1983THE UNOFFICIAL ACCIDENTAL ANGRY SAMOANS DISCUSSION BOARD yep "what did i do to piss off Metal Mike?" with 1001 subjects about 101 different bands and 300+ (400?) posts ehhhhh and mostly ReTaRDeD huhuhuhu cause mike occasionally posts in there to ensure quality control

Movies:

anything at all as long as there's no lame mope-rock grunge-rock, Lilith-girl college-rock, gay alterna-crap on the soundtrack. Spice Girls vs. Pearl Jam? oh c'mon. Would YOU wanna hear Scott Weiland (or worse, Eddie Vetter or even still worse that dead-junkie bad-guitarist schmuck/loser Cobain)'s howling up on the screen of your forced date-night chick-movie? three words: KILL ME NOW.

Television:

everything I know I learned on MTV. all of it. dude -- Room Raiders rules!! Parental Control rules even harder! I am the world's number 5.0 1999-TRL slut, with a bullet. consider = what other channel(s) (counting VH1) have hours of cheesy videos between three AM till mid-morning EVERY single day?? boy, those Real World/Road Rules peeps sure are a bunch of numbskull assholes though. yeah, stuff those fuckwads in a trash can.

Books:

Philip K Dick....uh, everything. I have read em all thrice at the least. apart from that = anyone's intelligent philosophy is all about The World According To DaPhNe AnD CeLeStE... i own a gilded gold-bordered limited pressing autographed special edition,yes. ooh stick you, ur momma too, and your daddy! it's important to have things in perspective, and we can all thank Daphne and Celeste for making that possible, forever. translation = fuck art, can you dance to it? oh and here is what happens to you if you don't read all the books on your 12th grade English summer Reading List you wind up a rich bitch puffing weed in holland

Heroes:

philip k dick, dave davies, gene vincent for being the original punk (tho not exactly sXe), the gear fab Modernettes (Vancouver '78 - '81), Max Martin/Dr Luke ABBA and the A*Teens, Black Flag with Keith, AC/DC with Bon Scott, every single punk rock band in 1979 LA/OC, the awesome Skye Sweetnam from bolton canada for NOISE FROM THE BASEMENT. the 1964 Beatles, duh. EVERY great twist music hit on Cameo/Parkway 1961-1963 who had the greatest house band ever. emily/riverside, our band's in house random chaos theory specialist and top phone prank-caller. aah, all the great Brill Building writing teams, as cliche as that is to namecheck (Greenwich/Barry, Goffin/King, and Mann/Weil are all gods of pop songwriting). hilary duff. wait a minute...omg did i say hilary puffy duff is one of my 21st century musical heroes? yes = because ha! = anyone can be a singer! you, me, the mailman down the street, even squeaky-toy-career-lipsyncer HiLaRY DuFF! YEAAAAAAA! i should probably cut back a bit on the off-day Pepsi One liter bottles though...the same Buddah Records comp has been playing over and over and over on the turntable for 6 hours and i didn't even notice. therefore, i rule. oh yeah, and the new/recent Britney album is great.annd don't forget the Archies, Ohio Express, 1910 Fruitgum Co., Middle of the Road, and every cool bubblegum tune there ever was. Bubblegum music rules! Kill! Kill! Kill the hippies!!!

My Blog

JUNE/JULY GIGS merch help needed FRI June13 APPLE VALLEY / SAT June14 SAN MARCOS / **old gigs**

there's usually 2 or 3 crew slots open on the guest list in swap for merch table help, plus my share of any free food/drink (which i never use). i get there earlier (me, aka mike) to do the load in an...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Tue, 29 May 2007 01:04:00 PST

Top 3 Reasons Bret Michaels Is A Pussy

(1) he’s in shock when women lie about their age. duuuh all women are required to after the age of 30, it’s a side effect of the flouridated drinking water or something. jesus what a pussy...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 08:12:00 PST

the Hannah Montana Concert Movie was AWESOME! how many times did you see it?

ANS:  THREE.  1) first on its opening weekend Feb 2nd Sat night midnight run time that fell 40 seats short of being the 8th straight sold out show that d...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Fri, 01 Feb 2008 02:49:00 PST

when was the first time the phrase "heavy metal" was used as a musical term?

http://www.dickdestiny.com/blog/2006/05/he-was-metal-man-bef ore-you-left-in.html and Pt 2  http://www.dickdestiny.com/blog/2006/05/he-was-metal-m an-before-you-ii-nothing.html yep.  that...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Fri, 21 Apr 2006 11:14:00 PST

I MEASURED/COUNTED ALL MY ALBUMS YESTERDAY

yesterday (officially saturday 12/30/06 when this blog-page's date gets moved up later) i was doing a couple hours of long overdue maintenance/organization on the 3,000+ albums/lps that're in the stor...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 03:10:00 PST

How the Beastie Boys got their name re Angry Samoans

same common story, just more detail this Nth time around.  ----------------- Original Message -----------------From: Woody AllenDate: Oct 23, 2005 6:06 AM I was listening to a Beastie Boys inter...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Thu, 27 Oct 2005 02:16:00 PST

Metal Mike on 2004 American Idol (collected)

..>..> ..> ..>..> ..> Metal Mike Saunders on American Idol (from the I Love Music board, the Myspace blogs posted by Chuck Eddy w/his comments) week by week i guess I REALLY wish I had room to r...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:16:00 PST

merch help needed old gigs

will need to dig up merch help for these gigs (except Hollywood which has probably already been claimed).   there's usually 2 or 3 crew slots open on the guest list in swap for merch t...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 09:06:00 PST

jesus christ post something FUNNY to to this Blog or Forum thread you losers

..> ..> come on people what the F is wrong with you fucktards make me laughhhh you nimrods! britney's 30 days away from the morgue and you can't post anything funny to this journal/blog? c'mon m...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 10:40:00 PST

one of the funniest American Idol REJECTS ever YouTube link youtube.com/watch?v=ftX4GrK4V-s

well at least if you hate Mariah Carey type yodeling/howling down in the smog-hell they call Riverside CA, this 20 year old Hawaiian-american http://www.myspace.com/reyesva logged off and drove t...
Posted by Angry Samoans on Thu, 24 Jan 2008 07:01:00 PST