Bela

"WE DON'T READ AND WRITE POETRY BECAUSE IT'S CUTE. WE READ AND WRITE POETRY BECAUSE WE ARE MENBERS OF THE HUMAN RACE. ... POETRY, BEAUTY, ROMANCE, LOVE, THESE ARE WHAT WE STAY ALIVE FOR" Dead Poets Society

LIFE is a ROSE- Soo BEAUTIFUL- Soo DELICATE- Soo PAINFUL...

I'M JUST AN ANGEL- Flying blindly through life- On borrowed wings- With self-inflicted wounds.

AS I LAY ON THE GRASS- I forget all I was thought- Eyes clouded by innocence- My kingdom is my mind- My mind rules where my will pretend- Love and glory never mattered to me- Wealth is a prison, glory an echo- And love a mask.

ABSTRACT LOVE- To see abstract love- Is to see flowers with out a reason- Flowers with out a season- Flowers with a greater reason...

I'D RATHER... I'd rather be the dust on the road- I'd rather be the beggar on the side of the road- I'd rather this than go through life, always looking back and feeling regret...

SILENT KILLER- The sun is shining because I feel the ache of it's awful heat - Not because I know the joy of its light- You came slowly- You came unnoticeable- You came like a deadly cancer- That accumulates in the heart, body and mind- You suffocated my feelings- My Interest- My response- I bruise but no longer feel - I feel but no longer bruise- It all became numb- It all became motions- I'll die just to fell alive- I'll die just to be alive.

TO FEEL FREE... I want to breath without any walls- To fall asleep seeing the true light- To see where the waves of the sea bathe nothing- To write beneath the veiled sun- To feel naked to plunge into the pond of my imagination- For a door to open in a wall without doors- Feel free against society...!

ABOVE THE TRUTH REIGNS GOD- Our science is just a flawed copy- Our world is just a haze- We want light that's better than the sun's!- We want meadows that are greener!- Have our eyes been blinded?- Have our hearts been frozen?- Why are we building walls instead of bridges?- Why can't we be more like panes of glass?- Transparent to light- What does it matter who wins or loses?- All it takes is a spark of kindness to reignite the flame of hope!

FROM THE DEPTH OF MY FEARS- I've been strung up by insecurities- Shackled and bound by doubts- I've been running and hiding from my emotions- Searching for truth- Searching for anything not to feel the heart-From the depth of my emptiness- I've been searching for your touch- I've searching for your tenderness- Searching for your sweet caress- Searching for a way of letting you know- You meant more to me than I let you see.

My heart is poured out on the ground- No one is near to comfort me- The night drags on- And I toss till dawn- Empty spaces buried deep in my dreams- Has the act become reality, or reality become the act?- Am I running because I'm scared, or am I scared because I'm running?

IN THE SILENCE OF YOUR HEART- What matters is not knowing how to see- But knowing how to feel, without seeing- And seeing without judging...

I DON'T REGRET WHAT I WAS- Because, I am still what I was- I only regret, not finding your love before I was!

YOUR STRENGTH IS YOUR WEAKNESS- My heart is pounding as loud as thunder- I can't afford to be innocent- I must get up and face the enemy- I'm clay fragile, flawed and break easy- You may see vulnerability as weakness- I'm not your possession!- I'm not your obsession!- You may read the body- You'll never read the mind- You may chain the body- You'll never chain the spirit- You may kill the body- You'll never kill the soul- Knock me down, I'll get right up- After all, your strengh is your weakness- You can't hide inside forever...

MY MIND ITS A STAGE OF CONFUSION- Day or night, always the same- My mouth cut up from bitting- My nails bloody from clawing- I listen to my voice as if belong to another- Yet my sadness is my comfort- Because those who love - Never know why they love or what love is- I who have eyes that are only for seeing- See an abscence of meaning in all wordly things- Everything as a veiled meaning- Nothing returns- Nothing repeats- Because everything is real- As long as this passing life doesn't weary and I stay the same- I'll let it keep passing.

IN THE DARKNESS OF MY ROOM- Where time stands still- All is peace and tranquility- All touches me sweetly and deeply- Shadows conceal the need to be healed- Like shackles on my feet- The moonlight in the distance frees the reality- The star which shines in the darkness, glows with false, hope and beauty- It's quietness soothes the body and soul- Candles are lit adding a dim light to my flawed and tired body- In the darkness of my room- Where I ponder myself alone- Wishing how peacefully i'd sleep if I could only be anyone else- In the darkness of my room- I ask only for a simple kiss given by light when it gleams- In the darkness of my room, is where heaven waits for the morning to rise.

There's a madness that derives from wanting to understand myself- I've always felt like a stranger- I've never seen or found myself- If I could only shed myself from within myself- To drown my sorrows in love as a consolation-

I GRIEVE TO THE CORE OF MY THINKING- And grief comes from thinking!- Heart stop thinking!- Leave the thinking to the head.

TROUGH THE CLOUDS- Beyond the stars- Out of my reach- Out of my mind- Where my only dreams come alive- Why did I mke my only life- A life made only of dreams?

I'M JUST HERE- Neither asleep nor awake!- Neither here nor there!- Neither dead nor alive!- I'm just here feeling inferior- Feeling inferior, is feeling superior.

SOMETIMES I MEDITATE- On the movement of an ocean wave- On the wind blowing- Why does it rain?- Why does it sunshine?- Why do you say a lot and mean so little?- A million words- A million lies-

I'D NEVER WILLING DO YOU HARM- Quiet is the wind on a calm day- Quiet is the sun and quiet is the sky- If only this described my thoughts- I pray for a reason to believe...- I pray for a reason to trust...- I see nothing, but the waves upon the lake- I feel nothing, but the cold upon the night- I'd never willing do you harm- It's a matter of fear- It's a matter of trust- Closeness frightens me, in this world full of nothing- If I give you my heart, will you promise to treat gently?- If I give you my life, will you hold it with yours?- I'd never willing do you harm!

I'm sleeping while awake- I'm awake while sleeping- I've been thinking about everything- I've been thinking about nothing- Day after day life's the the same life- How can I, who am not even my own ruler- Expect to rule or determine what happens where my mind and body are but a small part?

ALL I NEED- Put on your blindfold- Follow your heart- What the heart desires- The body will seek- What the flesh wants- Keeps the soul imprisoned- Show me an ocean of roses- Drown me in satin sheets- Adorn me with lace- I don't need diamonds- I don't need pearls- All I need is your touch- All I want is your tenderness- Don't show me gold- Don't show me silver- Just show me your smile- Just let me hear you breathing- Don't promise me the world- Don't promise me tomorrow- All I want is today- All I need, is here and now- Bathe me in your scent- Clothe me with your skin- Come, lay besides me, let me hear your whisper- Come, let me feel the warmth of your very soul.

FREEDOM- Who's the oppressor?- Who's the oppressed?- Bombs and bullets never been the answer- We can't keep on living our lives in obscurity- We can't keep on killing the spirit of our generation- Peace begins within our own hearts- Peace is a lifestyle- Who needs religion, when we have a loving God?- Who needs religion, when we have a forgiving God?- Freedom lives in our thoughts- Freedom lives in our hearts- Peace and freedom cannot be transformed and kept by force- We need to transform ourselves, before we transform our world.

LIKE A LARGE BLOT OF SMUDGED FIRE- On the surface of an iceberg- I can sense your emotional deprivation- I can taste your bitterness- I can feel your warm tears- I can hear your soul crying-Tortured soul below the surface- Open your mind- Open your gates- Step out of your cage- Let your tears weep- Let your feelings show.

SENSATIONS- What disillusion!- The same love which were loved- Oppress us with it's emptiness- I roll in abstract space of anguish, at the heart of every pleasure- I lose myself if i'm distracted, from the sensations I feel- The sensations I feel, are just another jail cell in my heart- I've never discovered- How to resist this restless sensations that I feel- I don't even know if it's I who feels- I'd only be fully satisfied if my body was my soul- I suffer because all this is absurd.

DRENCHED IN SHADOWS- Swaddle in memories- I see it all, so vivid it blinds me- I taste it all, so bitterly it kills me- That person I knew as me- That person I knew as myself- No longer lives here- No longer believes in here- Wretched you!

STRIPPED DOWN TO THE CORE- Here where I am I can't feel myself- Nothing consoles me- I lost the feelings to feel- Maybe if I seek them, I will find them again!- But why?- What for?- If I don't feel, I don't hurt...

ON MY KNEES- Tired, here I stand- In your presence in a aimless direction. Too proud to seek You- Too guilty not to- Stubbornest blinds me- Pain enslaves me- Memories defeat me- A frozen heart an empty soul-Defeated I get on my knees- Forgiveness I ask- Strength I seek- Hold out Your loving hand- And i'll crawl to You- Just don't leave me lying here!Cleanse my filth- Clothe my nakedness- You know what I need when I stumble in the dark- I' ll crawl for You- I'll cry for You- I'll die just for You- Just don't leave me lying here!For empty promises- For lying lips- For the killer in me Forgiveness I ask- Strengh I seek- I'll surrender body and soul for a Higher Purpose- It's my desire to give myself to You- Just don't leave me lying here!

SENSUAL PASSING OF LIFE- With slow thoughts of an open flower- Beneath the grave that hides the eyes and mouth-Brief warm fire brought by a cold breeze- Like smoke and white clouds-Illusions of words and ideas- Are merely a place of spoken silence- The struggle to feel or not to feel- Visions of uncertain minds- To have tthe desire to see life from a distance-

I WAS LEFT IN THIS WORLD ALL ALONE- Like an orphan of a dream, stranded on a deserted island- To find the whole world outside- To walk alone along it's roads and pathways- To make sense of the senseless cold reality- To listen to the world, that speaks to me in an unknown tongue-I was left in this world all alone- Like an orphan of a journey- Stranded in a life made only of dreams- To realize as long as I feel the sun and see the light- I will not ask for more- To believe if you want little, you'll have everything- If you want nothing, you'll be free

Copyright 2007 Bela