apesgrapes profile picture

apesgrapes

Climb Aboard my Clown Bus

About Me


apesgrapes
Climb Aboard my Clown BusI am Northumberlands best midget clown ever . You can hire me for parties and. My show will has the following:
    Balloon animals (sausage dogs, and hippos, worms and more!) Custard Pies and foam pool fun. Clown Car and small tricycle (funny) Barnie the Clown Dog NEW!!! Also available for private adult shows (extra charge for touching)

Available for:
    Weddings & Birthdays Hen & Stag nights (Hen nights preferred). Bar Mitzvah party nights Funerals & Wakes (Special Offer - enquire for details) Ann Summers demonstration evenings
you can book me at my website here (click)

My Interests

i no longer do dwarf throwing. it might be funny for you but once when they were drunk i ended up two broken ribs, had one of my best costumes ripped and ruined. and i was urinated on by 3 men,or maybe just 2.

so no. please dont ask to throw me because you cant. thanks.

I'd like to meet:

Your wife and your kids for clown fun.This is Barnie the Clown Dog has been to the vets and will be having puppies. They dont know how many yet but I need good homes for each one.

Go to my website if you want one. They are free because Barnie is a mongol so I can't sell them anyway.

leave me a comment or i'll come round and peep through your curtains eh

Movies:

My favourite film is willow . I would marry joanne whalley even now when she is probably 40. the film was done by Richie Cunnighmam from the Fonzie Show.I also like Time Bandits .

Television:

Its shit though eh.

Books:

Bleh, books.

Heroes:

My heroes are him from Willow who has been in other stuff aswell. I also liked the one who played Daniam in some kids program when I was younger but I cant remember what it was called. i only have one hero who is a normal and that is ricky jervace - he proves that even normals who have diabilities (he is greasy and fat) can be rich and popular.

My Blog

paintballers. do me a fucking favour eh.

so if it's such fucking 'radical maaaan' fun then why the fuck are you always in the shopping centre with your crappy stall trying to rope passers-by in to joining your pathetic little pastime? haven'...
Posted by apesgrapes on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:56:00 PST

Princess Diana - lets just let her rot eh?

she's dead. been dead for 10 years. if you want to prolong this, shaking your head over the oddities in the story, then buy the fucking Daily Express. the right wing cunts have some petty diana relate...
Posted by apesgrapes on Wed, 06 Jun 2007 02:08:00 PST

FAO: Madonna

Look you fucking gap-toothed overrated old sow; I know you read my blog. That kid you bought eh? What? He wasn't bought? Ah, right - you we're taking him to a better life, while donating £2m to those...
Posted by apesgrapes on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 10:20:00 PST

that angelina jolie eh.

ok, she reckons shes done a bit of lez with some chinky bird and did that bollocks with vials of blood when she married that inbred bloke, but i'd bet any money shes as boring as fuck.all that "look a...
Posted by apesgrapes on Wed, 23 May 2007 04:57:00 PST

gillette fusion - 5 blades

for fucksake though eh? 5 blades to shave me?what you talkin bout gillette huh? 4 shit blades and one that actually works? you bunch of desperate wankers. i remember joking about this shit when they m...
Posted by apesgrapes on Tue, 22 May 2007 01:59:00 PST