I'd like to meet:
Let's get something out of the way right now. I have one photo posted. ONE. It's not even that good, but it's the only one I don't look at and want to rip up faster than Sinead O'Connor with Karol Józef Wojtyla's 8x10 glossy.
So, if you message me claiming to be a hot girl who's new in town, lonely, with less than 3, or more than 800, MySpace friends (one of them being Tom the founder), and proceed to talk about how much you think my "pictures" are so sex-ayy and that I should IM you, I'm gonna know you're a lying sack of sour persimmons and laugh at you.
Next, if you are some sort of starving actor or musician, or worse, yet another wannabe horror film director, and you are attempting to friend me on the extremely tenuous connection that I like music and movies, or, more to the point, think you can soak me for work and job contacts, think again. Yes, I once had a TV show. I don't currently have one now. And if I do not have any work for myself, I definitely have no hook-up capabilities for you.
So let's save you some time and spare the overloaded cyberspace artery some cholesterol, and sell your fantasy or your debatable talent somewhere else. Mark is a name, not a noun.
Still reading? Not busy typing up a flame message? Good. You sound interesting. Now we can talk.
And when I say talk, that means if I don't already know you in the real world, you had better send me a message introducing yourself, especially if indeed you have the 800+ friendslist. I think it's fair for me to ask why you want me on board, in order to determine whether I'm gonna be a significant addition to your life or if you're just using me as a statistic to brag to the world about how "popular" you are.. Without a hello, your request goes goodbye.
Still reading now? Determined you are. That's worth something.
Music:
"Beneath the midnight caller / She thinks of paper green"
"I would say I'm sorry if I thought that it would change your mind"
"The city streets are empty now / The lights don't shine no more"
"Keep your head and everything will be cool"
"Out on the winding, windy moors / We'd roll and fall in green"
"There is a park that is known 4 the face it attracts"
"Wake up kids, we got the dreamer's disease"
"Times are hard, you're afraid to pay the fee"
"Have I ever told you how good it feels to hold you"
"I remember how the darkness doubled"
"C'est drôl' c'que t'es drôle à r'garder / T'es là , t'attends, tu fais la tête"
Movies:
"I'd hate to take a bite outta you. You're a cookie full of arsenic."
"When they do you in, pray it's somebody who knows *where* to shoot..."
"He was an old man in a young girl's world"
"When you're in love with a married man you shouldn't wear mascara."
"Keep watching the sky, MacIntyre."
"You don't make up for your sins in church. You do it in the streets. You do it at home. The rest is bullshit and you know it."
"Bad luck isn't brought by broken mirrors, but by broken minds."
"You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me, it's a full time job. Now behave yourself."
"I know exactly what she has that I haven't got. Awe. That's it, isn't it? I mean, no real woman - no woman of experience would ever stand in front of you with awe in her eyes... "
"Flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle. It's just a hell of a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes."
Television:
"Begone with you pulpy, before I fold you into some type of brochure!"
"If you're going to lie to me, you lie to me with respect. What is it? Is it my shoes? Is it my haircut? Got a problem with my haircut? Don't you ever lie to me like I'm Montel Williams. I am not Montel Williams. I am not Montel Williams."
"Stupid TV! Be funnier!"
"Speaking as an enormously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those who want to kill me."
"A dope trailer is no place for a kitty."
"That's not fair. That's not fair at all. There was time now. There was, was all the time I needed..."
"Can't you see? You're not making Christianity better, you're making rock'n'roll worse!"
"On the excitement scale, it's somewhere between...a haircut and root canal work."
"I'M A RAVING BLOODY LUNATIC! You look at me, you see a personality problem under a silly white hat!"
"The commandment says, 'Thou shalt not kill.' It does not say, 'Thou shalt not kill only nice people.' "
"We've invested a lot of time and energy in this project. Brian, you lost your girlfriend. Gregory here had to give up the track team. And me, well, I've lost a lot of sleep, between track-team practice and dating Brian's old girlfriend."
"Help, help. Gun. Oh terror, terror, burglar. Burglar, help, help, help. Wallet mine. His now."
"Do bears bear? Do bees bee?"
Books:
"Not that the incredulous person doesn't believe in anything. It's just that he doesn't believe in everything."
"Keep passing the open windows."
"Do you want to know how cruel God is? How fantastically cruel? Sometimes, he makes us live."
"By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that."
"No one to love, none to caress, Left all alone in this world's wilderness."
"It is a mistake to imagine that man can exhaust his destiny, or can reach the bottom of anything whatever. Alas! what are all these destinies thus driven pell-mell? whither go they? why are they so? He who knows that, sees all the shadow. He is alone. His name is God."
"You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."
