The Maladroits profile picture

The Maladroits

INTOXICATING ADULATION

About Me

The Maladroits were formed by a dad and his eldest son and the son's best friend/next door neighbor. They had a long-hair named Gunther on guitar that lived upstairs of the best friend and was a student of the dad but he is unimportant to the story and, consequently, is dead now. His replacement promptly insisted the band cease singing and go solid instro, despite the fact that he was a 5-octave vocal monster of some reknown on several continents and pals with Skeeter Davis. In time, the merely 13 year-old piano playing youngest son joined against his wishes, thus cruelly ending his idyllic youth and thrusting him into a late-night musicians's lifestyle, and then they were 5. Sometime later, a clean-living ex-jazzer who distinctly smelled of sax, after cyber-stalking the band for several weeks, came to a gig with his instrument underarm, leapt onstage unannounced, and proceeded to growl surprisingly sinister surf sax sounds and then them were 6. Yet still no sex. Over 100 embarassing and disasterous gigs were racked up before the sons got squirrely and joined bands without fathers in them. Reunion talk is snickeringly made to keep the insane member quiet but it is all lies, for that ship done sailed, and then sank in a squall. Despite the tragi-comic outcome of The Maladroits, during their reign they were actually phenomenally good, but the populace wanted a band that tastes good, not a band with good taste. The wildly age-ranging surfers, endlessly sans a unified mission-statement, failed to achieve the tin-record sales everyone knew they were capable of, due to inability to get laid, autistic differences, bad breath, hair jealousy, rampant unchecked athleticism vs. descent into mild druggieness, and polarizing religious dichotomy, including snakes. They still hang out, break the law, and watch themselves in videos, and make their girlfriends watch themselves in videos, but exist now only electronically here at myspaced and at ho-ho records. It's not nice to fool mother nature. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ from ages 3 to 83, everybody is digging on the fun, upbeat, inoffensive yet super-charged sounds of The MALADROITS. It is perhaps one of the most pleasant and restorative concert experiences now available to the enlightened music-lover!!!!
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My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 6/10/2005
Band Website: home.fuse.net/hohorecords/Maladroits.htm
Band Members: THE "FIRST-FAMILY" OF SURF (now estranged) although they are, to a man, loathe to admit it, THE MALADROITS WERE-ARE-WILL EVER BE: Mad Professor Ron White, Eli White, Brett Davis, Jason Wagner, Bryce Rhude, Sky White, David Freeman, Evan (last name unknown) on 2nd sax, Ken Davis (backup Dad and backup drummer), Babe, R. Stacy Fenner as staff photog, Carl Palmer, Arnold Palmer, Sam Sneed, Sam Phillips, Sam C. Phillips, Cher, Dean Torrence, Ross Bagdasarian, Smokey The Bear, Sgt. Schultz, Los Alamos, Connie and Gene & Don and Pam in a four-way, Lorraine, Gunther, Rick Jones, Bruce Banner, Betty Ross, Thunderbolt Ross, Commander Crane, Admiral Nelson, Pete Best, Pete Worst, Tiffany, Rockin' Robert, A guy named Guy, Time Twerp, Tom Terrific, Hayley Mills, Secretariat, Nostradamus, Linda Lovelace, That Darn Cat, Gerald McBoing Boing, Pop'n'Fresh, Debbie Gibson, Debby Boone, Debbie Does Dallas, Concubine number 14, Jan Michael Vincent, Kato, Comic Book Guy, Miss May 1966, Henrietta Hippo, Construction Clown, Friar Tuck, Marine Boy, Rex Racer, Aunt Clara, Arthur's Lost Limb, Fruitpie The Magician, Ernie Douglas, La Machine, Snarfie, Tallulah Bankhead, Bea Bernadet, Weirdly Gruesome, Nunn Bush, Red West, Crimson Dynamo, Happy Kyne, and Benji
Influences: Link, Dick, flying pig mile 17, leo fender, explosive anger issues, peer pressure, space food sticks, Shadow Morton, Shad O'Shea, The Shadows, Chad Everett, ADAM-12, cattle prod, snagglepuss, quarter-sized hail, tennessee tuxedo, segovia, billy batson, the peppermint twist, double bubble, the fuji blimp, maximum wage jobs, hand jobs, Leon Trotsky, leather whips, big mac, THC, echo, reverb, earplugs, vibrolux, deputy dawg, Barnabus Collins, Zira, Cornelius, Don Cornelius, Milton Goodstein, Mort Meek, laika and the cosmonauts, that stylish petite woman I stalk, the dragsters, los straitjackets, caddyshack script, Hughes 500, mango lasi, doc and the pods, SR-71, squarehead bolts, Larry Tate, Richard H. Nixon-Playtex salesman, soundtrack to the 1968 pink panther cartoon, Koogle flavored peanut butter, the witch doctor, the REAL yellow pages, Brit Reid owner publisher of the daily sentinel, duane eddy, Liberace, and that ugly drummer that was in the ventures
Sounds Like: chicken
Record Label: Ho-Ho Entertainment Conglomerate
Type of Label: Major

My Blog

the pathway to the dark side of the surf

well, it's been a year since the younglings brought down the beast--it had not been their first attempt to do so, but it was the first wholly successful one. Their stalwart efforts in that direction h...
Posted by The Maladroits on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST