Neil Buchanan profile picture

Neil Buchanan

TRY IT YERSELF!

About Me


Ey ey ey people! Im Neil Buchanan, Star and creator of the popular 90's series' Art Attack & Finders Keepers, & Liverpools top dealer of class A's, like!
I started Art Attack 13 years ago, when the ideas i had whilst fucked off my knackers on whatever gear Head & me could get our hands on became popular with the kids we dealt weed to like. I fooking love it, & I love all my fans, their proper ace, like! Finders Keepers began as a training program we set up teaching kids how to raid houses. We'd get 'em fucked on crystal meth then shout 'WHAT TIME IS IT KIDS???!!!!', To which they'd shout 'ROOM RAIDING TIME!!!!!' and proceed to trash the fuck out of whoevers house we took the little bastards to, and steal whatever items we told them we wanted. Haha! After ITV got hold of it and offered up the big bucks, they decided it would be best to only use the phrase 'TRY IT YERSELF!!!' on Art Attack, as many complaints had rolled in of kids causing thousands of pounds worth of damage battering their own houses in an attempt to remake their favorite show. Top banana, like!
As the Posh cunts at ITV have a no-hard-drugs on set policy, i needed some way of keeping myself entertained like, hence my heavy usage of PVA Glue & Poster Paint, a quick fix of them along with some poppers & your laughing like! Give it a go yerself at home kids!
Best thing i ever did on Art Attack, like, (apart from the horseshit one), was make a picture of the queen smoking a spliff, out of £25,000 worth of skunk(^look, top banana!^). That was proper good, i can't believe they expected a cheeky scouser like me to not nick off with any of the doobs like! Ey ey ey officer hands off the new gear like! I got turned away from Art College 3 times, as i was speeding and pilling my bollocks off for most of my youth like, and got caught robbing car stereos a number of times, top banana! I also played Smarty Arty in ZAPP! Thats enough about that though it was proper shite like!
^The Strongest Skunk We Ever scored, on me 38th birthday party! Top Banana!^
Well, thats all the things i can think of people, if anyone wants a price list on my class A deals, please email me. If funds are low, i have some great ways of taking out car stereo's without setting off the alarm like! Also go for the PVA glue abuse, and perhaps even heat-inhaling some Poster Paint, i have shitloads in the loft to sell like! Try It Yerself! Special offers on all the time! Love Neil x
^^^^^^
Comedown From Hell: 6 grams of China white, 15 pills & 12 rocks of crack in 2 days, top banana 'till the day after! Proper fucked me up! Dont Try It Yerself like!

My Interests

Getting cained like a biatch on herbs and 'recreation based medicines', snorting charlie & MDMA powder, smoking crack, sniffing PVA glue round the back of the pub with Jimmy Corkhill and Sinbad, Heating up and inhaling poster paint, robbing peoples stereo's, nicking booze from the 24 hour Asda, sending the head to sort out the fooking scallys who don't pay up like!

SNIFF THESE, THEIR TOP BANANA!

Did the trick at Sinbads Fancy Dress Party like!

I'd like to meet:


Pete Doherty (fooking keep me and Jimmy in buisness for years if he tried our crack like!), Cracker The Dog, the real Tinhead, Mandy Jordash (was proper top when she buried her husband, thumbs up like!), anyone else who loves Brookie, i cried like a fooking baby when it got took off TV! Any fans of my show, i fooking love fans their proper cool. Also any people whos ripped off my show, Tony Hart for a start, Fingertips (fuck the science bollocks off kids dont want to learn about that shit after school!), that twat Steven from CITV who did those shows about how he got bullied, he was a twat, the whole smART team (that was a pile of crap when the kids sent in the drawing they did themselves that were utter shit, but theyd make out how 'colourful' they were hahahahahah), and all of the Riddlers, those evil twats scared the fuck out of me when i watched their show stoned off my knackers on the skunk i used to get from jamacan joe down the Brookie Bar before my show on CITV Like. & The Bastard who cut Heads body off, like.
The Riddlers: FUCKING SATANS WORK

And Who The fuck is This Little Twat?

I did my part for Red Nose Day, went to the third world with Lenny Henry, it was a great laugh everyones well safe! Soon showed them a few things like!:

Television:

Classic Brookie, Family Fortunes, The Royal Family (his wife was in jail, top dog like!), Harry Enfiled & Chums, The Riddlers, anything on CITV, Black Adder, Tony Robinson is the man, he looks loads like the guitarist out of System Of A Down aswell, well funny, like!

Books:



Heroes:


My best mate, taught me everything i know. Smokes Methamphetamine like a chimney, the fucking psycho like! long live the Head!

My son, Charlie, look at the little nipper he looks just like me! Top banana like!

My Blog

The Lookalikes So Far........

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Posted by Neil Buchanan on Thu, 23 Mar 2006 08:47:00 PST

PRISON...........

Safe! Neils back! Got sent down for a month cos i got caught with some morrocan woodbine on the bus! argh! Luckily escaped a bumming, though a couple of the scallys were proper up for it! Had a good t...
Posted by Neil Buchanan on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 06:10:00 PST