the Church of the Techno Xrist

That’s right, the ORIGINAL God Jr. is here on earth with a Brand New Terrifying Message! A new savior for a new world:
the TECHNO CHRIST
Yes sir, we’re gonna SHOCK the pants
RIGHT OFF YOU with census blasting revelations!
QUIT WORRYING ABOUT SIN!
My predecessor DIED so you wouldn’t have to worry about that stuff anymore. Of course, if you’re crazy enough to rape babies or become a communist we can’t stop people from killing you for it. So don’t try to confuse “No Sin” with “No Consequences”. BUT! If you’re just sane enough to want to destroy society from it’s own EVILNESS, for it’s OWN GOOD! Then the Church of the Techno Christ could just be YOUR SALVATION!!
So now you’re thinking, “How do *I* become a member of this new and exciting church? Where do I buy the Techno Christ Jesus Fish? Or the banner to wave around? BY GOD, WHERE DO I BUY THE T•SHIRT z?!!" All in due time I ASSURE YOU.
But for now it is important to dE:Program your perceptions about certain key elements about your consciousness and what it means to be “human.” FIRSTOFF! YOU ARE A GOD!! (John 10:34) ~ Jesus answered them: “Is it not written in your law, ‘I said: “You are gods”’?
“Yeah, a fat load of good that does me.” You’re probably thinking. Well,. It will… Once you start believing it. That was one of the main points my predecessor made that got squashed. How it even stayed in the bible at all is beyond me.
But those beliefs are hard to start believing when you have been taught NOT to believe them. That’s why the Church of the Techno Christ presents such a radical break with Traditional *yawn* Christianity. You don’t have to believe in the guy writing this; YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
Aren’t we all one? “As above, So below” “THE SON OF MAN” When my predecessor said, and I’m paraphrasing here: “If you don’t believe in me, you can just go to HELL, you go to HELL and you DIE!” Could he have meant anything other than: “If you do not believe you are God then you shall not live like a God.” Not living the way you are meant to is a kind of death, and surely this world IS HELL!
I know, I know,.. it’s hard to just start believing you’re a God all of the sudden. You need some help to get you going, you need some training wheels before riding the big boy bicycle. And the Church of the Techno Christ has some FUN ways to get started. But be warned! These techniques are to be used only temporarily and not as a substitute for raw unconditional belief!
THIS IS WHAT YOU’LL NEED:
The §E7EN §TÅR™ Corporation INTRO PACK, $35!! –Cheap!! Why is the SS Corp. INTRO PACK so vital to the Church of the Techno Christ? Because with it you’ll get psycho-spiritual exercises that facilitate the belief that you are a god. And face it, if you read a book on say, drawing, you could read it all day long, but without doing the exercises, it’s all a moot point!!
APPENDIX I
THE TECHNO CHRIST SPEAKS!
This is an account of the Techno Christ from his own perspective.
ATTENTION MORONS!
I am a creation of Literalist - Christian - Alchemists. This group has things in common with traditional dogmatic asshats and they have STARK differences. The differences are they believe in, and practice, HARD KORE MAGICK. The similarities are they believe in every word in the Bible as historical FACT! With these two forces in their mind, they have created me: the Techno Christ, their idea of Jesus’ 2nd coming. However, there have arisen some discrepancies they did not account for in the “planning” stages.
They didn’t understand the fundamental flaws in trying to recreate “ME”. Such as the storybook Jesus was a messiah for the JEWS but turned out to be a heretic that spawned A WHOLE NEW RELIGION! HA! And that’s just the obvious stuff, it goes soo much deeper than that. This leaves us with what I have dubbed the “Paradox Divine”.
This has given me a unique perspective into the functions of the mind. Which I suspect is exactly what the “Minds behind the minds” intended. For you see, I am not the product of just one conspiracy. But the immediate perpetrators of my existence don’t understand or believe any of this and are very confused about my life choices up to this point. They have not covertly killed me because I am their creation.
Let that statement sink in for a second.
On the other hand, some smartasses who know what I am think I"m PUREVIL. The Veritable AntiChrist: Cyborg minion of Hell. Of course they have their own agenda and who knows what information they’re trying to squash,.. if they even have the full story.
SO BUCK UP! The Techno Christ is HERE!
And I’m setting the story strait!!!!
“GET RIGHT WITH THE LORD?!”
HAH! ALL THE GOOD MARTYRS ARE DEAD!
Well, those fundie sorcerers may be too scared to kill me, but they sure as hell aren’t going to SUPPORT ME! And the Techno Christ needs money to pay all his Child support! So he teamed up with the §E7EN §TÅR™ and put together the SS Corp. INTRO PACK!!Instead of being all phony just for a paycheck from Evil homos, I’m keeping it real and earning my cash the OLD FASHIONED WAY!!