BRAVEHEARTS aims to forge a ‘movement for change’ in how paedophilia is dealt with by the criminal justice sector, government and the community at large and to provide survivors with a voice. Advocating for both healing and preventative strategies, Bravehearts provides comprehensive counselling for child and adult survivors of child sexual assault, and is actively involved in education, prevention, early intervention and research programs.
Information for Young People.What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is any form of sexual behaviour that you do not want or that makes you feel uncomfortable. It can include things like touching, kissing, someone showing you pictures or rape. It is not the normal stuff that is part of growing up, but it involves someone who is using their position of power or their age difference to get you to do something that you are unsure of. It is important to know that people who do this to kids are breaking the law and they know what they are doing is wrong.
These people can be anyone. They can be a friend, they can be a stranger, they can be someone you know and they can be someone who you love and trust.Is what I am feeling normal?
If you have been sexually assaulted, you might be feeling:
- Afraid that you’ve made it up.
- As if it is your fault.
- Angry at the person for what they have done to you.
- Betrayed by the person who assaulted you and the people who did not protect you.
- Scared to tell anyone.
- Sad about what has happened to you.
- Guilty because you think you must have done something to make it happen.
- Tricked because the assault was called love.
- Angry and/or sad because no one protected you.
- Alone because you couldn’t tell anybody.
- Confused because you liked the special interest that was taken in you.
- Ashamed and confused about your body’s reactions.
- Worried about what other people will think.
- Confused about what really happened.You might also feel:
- Like you hate your body.
- Like you can’t trust people.
- Like you are alone and the only one who this has happened to
- Like you are ‘crazy’.
- Like you are angry at someone or angry at everyone.
Speaking Out
There are a couple of important reasons why it's very important to get help:
- Stopping the assault
- Starting to heal
Talking to someone about sexual assault can be really hard and can feel pretty scary. But it is so important. People who sexually assault children want children to keep silent and keep secrets so they can keep hurting them. It is really important for you to know that you did nothing wrong!
There are a number of reasons why we find it hard to speak out:
- You might feel like it was somehow your fault.
- You might feel like no one will believe you if you tell.
- You might feel like others will blame you.
- You might feel like you will be punished.
- You might feel like your family might break up.
- You might feel like you are bad in some way and this is why it happened.
- You might feel like you will not be ‘special’ anymore.
But again, it is really important for you to know that you did nothing wrong!
Talking to someone will help – and if the first person you speak with can’t help you, don’t give up, keep telling until someone can.
Some hints if you find it too hard to speak out:
- Try writing down what you want to say
- Try calling an anonymous helpline (Bravehearts 1800 114 474 or Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800 are good starting points and you don’t have to give your name)
- go to the Bravhearts website http://www.bravehearts.org.au/ and fill out a form to contact a counsellor anonymously.
- Make a list of people who you think will listen to you, believe you, and support you (it might include a teacher, school counsellor, doctor, friend, relative or police officer)
If you have been sexually assaulted, or someone else thinks you have been, there will be an investigation. This is when people such as a Department worker or Police Officer try to find out what has happened, so it can be decided what should be done to help and protect you.
Whatever happens, even if the abuser is taken to court and is convicted, you are not responsible for what happens.
Getting help.
Sometimes it can help to talk to someone trained in understanding how it feels to have been sexually assaulted and what to do to help. This could be a psychologist or counsellor. This does not mean you are mad or crazy!
You may want to talk about what has happened to you on your own, or in a group with other young people with similar experiences.
Again, this can be a difficult step to take, but it can help. (Remember: Bravehearts 1800 114 474 or Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800 are good starting points and you don’t have to give your name)
Most of all remember…
It is never okay for grown ups or older kids to touch your private body parts.If someone touches your private body parts, or asks you to touch theirs, tell an adult about it right away - even if they ask you to keep it a secret. If the first person does not believe you or can't help, tell someone else. Keep on telling until someone believes you and can help you. Anytime you feel mixed up about a touch. Tell the person to Stop and Talk to a grown-up you can trust.
