Normal Bob Smith - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Hello, my name is Bob, and I've given myself the title of "Normal Bob" so as not to disrupt or unsettle anyone upon first meeting me. However, I've found that this maneuver has instead accomplished almost the exact opposite! I get messages on Myspace and emails every day saying things like "You're not NORMAL!" and "You should change your name to ABnormal Bob Smith, you creep!" and all sorts of otherthings of that nature. People really seem to be bothered by me! If you'd like to read some of these letters you can go read my HATE MAIL section. There's hundreds of pages of these sorts of letters. They hate the games I've made, the way I look , and even the way I designed my site! I've gotten letters from relatives , pastors , atheists , Marines , ex meth addicts , brothers of nuclear physicists , and even crazy Islamic fundamentalist terrorists ! Everyone seriously has some sort of major bug up their ass about me.

I like to keep myself busy with many different hobbies. One of my hobbies is making dressup games of people's gods. Like I made one of Jesus a while back. And there's also one of The Prophet Muhammad . You can see more of the dressup games I've designed in my my portfolio . Another hobby of mine is hangin' out at Union Square Park in New York City and taking pictures of people. There's all sorts of interesting people at Union Square that I think you should know about. Junkies , peepers , skaters , gravers , scenesters , and a mess of others. I write about these people in a section of my website called Amazing Strangers . It's a funny, popular section of my site that people like to visit.

I also draw a comic strip called Satan's Salvation . It's a comic about Satan and Jesus arguing and pullin' pranks on each other. I draw a lot of comics. Another good one I draw is called The Sheeples , and in that one I take actual quotes from my hate mailers and draw a little cartoon for 'em! I know, right?

A few other things about me - I like to hand out GOD IS FAKE flyers to people on the street. You can click here to watch me do some of that. I'm in a movie , I have an Unholy Army Of Catholic Schoolgirls , I went to see Passion Of The Christ dressed as Satan , people once stood outside of Urban Outfitters to protest the toy I make , and right now I'm tryin' to get all of this together for some kind of major tour! It's all very exciting.
To make money I do freelance art and I also sell a magnet version of my Jesus Dressup game. They're pretty popular. I've been able to make a good living off of those two things and haven't had a real job with a boss in like 6 years! It's bitchin'.
So, there's a little about me. That's not like SUPER CRAZY abnormal, is it?
..
"NormalBobSmith.com is a fabulous site. Normal Bob Smith is a beautiful writer and a great artist, and he does the Jesus Dress Up magnets, which I have a set of in my home." Penn Jillette, PennRadio.com, Mar. 28th, 2006

My Interests

Snowskiiing, pork, extensive peering, thinking sexy thoughts, foreign films, cold showers and wiener roasts!

I'd like to meet:

The Tired Prostitute, Freddy, Cyclops and his panhandling-pigeon-puppet, The No Police State Coalition, and Paul Revere, Bill the Lisping Commi, The Flag-wearing Anarchist, Roman, Dizzy Dez, Gregory Gordon, Dennis the Menace, Jason & Geoffrey Blank, the Cokehead Cop, the Racist Cop, Muscles, The Black Israelites, Peepers, Peepers Jr, Peepers 2, Peepers 3, Peepers 4, Son Of Peepers, Fat Peepers, Fry-cook Peepers, Peep-peep Peepers, Peepers Creepers, the Black Rabbi, Ratface, the Garbage Wiz, the Springtime Graver, the Shirtless Graver, the Everything Graver, the 40 yr Old Graver, Casper, the Undercover Cop, the Birdcall Guy, the Hanson Brothers, the Genius, Graygums, the Dancin' Dweeb, the Mallgrab Scenester, Nick Perdue, Billy Rohen, Psycho Situps, Marly, Sappo, Peanut, Chewy, Little Nino, Shitlocks, Crazy Chico, Hookhand, the Asexual Hacky-sacker, the Childmolesting Hacky-sacker, the Nipples-too-close-together Hacky-sacker, the Authentic NYC Skater, the Starving Artist, Pops, the Shouting "Twentyfive-Cents-to-feed-the-Homeless" Pirate, the Shadow, the Sock Bandit, the Pissing Wino, the 50 Yr Old Teenage Girl, the DJ, the Newspaper Pickup Artist, the Quarter Guy, the Breakdancers and Phillip Thebucket, the Virgin-hole Junkies, the Vomiting Junkie, the Pregnant Junkie, the Arguing Junkies, the Headless Junkie, the Mommy & Daddy Junkies, Junkie with a Hot Ass, the Lifeguard Junkie, the Runaway Junkie, the Garbage-eating Prostitute and her Junkie Pimp, Junkie Dawn, & Restaurant on the Moon?Also the Dog Molester.

Music:

Marching band music, and that angry death metal rock and roll stuff. Oh! And those Jack-in-the-box toys at the store! I could listen to that cute little tune forever.... but then "POP!" Oh, I run screaming out of the toy department every time! That happens to you too, right? I know it's not crazy. It's MADE to scare people like that! I know that for a fact. I looked it up on Google.

Movies:

<img src="http://www.normalbobsmith.com/bobsmithusa.jpg" ;

Television:

Kill it! Pick it up over your head and throw it off the goddamn fire escape! It's fucking evil and turning your brain to mush! And if you're invited into someone else's home don't even hesitate. The second you step foot through their front door run at the television and bodyslam that mother fuckin thing! It killed your grandparents! It's eating your children alive! It fell on your pet! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! Unless you're just using it to watch DVD's or IFC. Then nevermind.

Books:

Do magazines count as books? Like, magazines with mostly articles? I read the articles in magazines. That should count as books, right? Okay, magazines. Lots of them. Like, I got a trunk full of them. Specific names? Let's just say they're... mature people magazines, with articles. Some pictures. Okay, mostly pictures. All right. You broke me. Porn. It's porn magazines. I call 'em books.

Heroes:

Rollen Stewart and firemen

My Blog

I make contact with a Peeper!!

So it finally happened! The unbelievable has come true, and I didn't waste the opportunity to say what had to be said. On Sunday the 6th of July the same peeper who approached me a week earlier sat do...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:24:00 PST

The No-Name Orangutan

So yesterday I had the most delightful day out with my girlie. First we went to the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island and hung out with our friend Colyn at the ocean in the sun and shade. Then after a ri...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 01:40:00 PST

Peeper almost hits me!

I just now returned from Union Square where I almost just got hit by a Peepers!So I'm there with Bob and a friend of his and of course there's a couple Peepers standing over by the garbage can peeping...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:00:00 PST

Richard Dawkins booksigning tonight

So today I’m going to go meet Richard Dawkins at Barnes & Noble for his book signing this evening at 7. I have to admit that my biggest hope is to see if I can get him to pose for a picture with...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 10:08:00 PST

Kentucky Dream

Last night I had a dream that I was in Kentucky, not in costume, at a diner of some sort. I was there at the counter eating with some of the folks at Electric Devil (whom I've yet to meet in reality) ...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 04:38:00 PST

Jesus Dressup is 2, beating out Wikipedia!

Type in "Jesus" into Google and guess who's not only 2, but also beating out Wikipedia! Yes, I really am this easy to please! Does that mean people care more about my dressup than the actual definitio...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:28:00 PST

Difficulty with Dreamweaver and HTML Scripting

I am presently designing a new dressup/treasure-hunt page that's bigger than anything I've done before, but I'm discouraged at the moment because Dreamweaver always seems to have problems updating the...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:47:00 PST

Medusa’s Circle tomorrow!

Hey people, tomorrow is the magnet signing at Medusa's. If you're anywhere nearby you should totally come! We're on the guestlist for the after party at Neo, and the whole night looks as if it's gonna...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 03:12:00 PST

Translate my hate mail please.

Any help translating this?Teri maa ki gaandSuar ki auladHaram ki nassal
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Tue, 27 Nov 2007 10:16:00 PST

Horny.

Christ, I'm fuckin' horny. This always happens when I go on vacation away from home and I don't know the psychology of exactly why that always is. Right now I am in Chicago in a completely sterile cof...
Posted by Normal Bob Smith on Sun, 25 Nov 2007 07:16:00 PST