Can I get any woman I want? Probably not, not any. Most? Absolutely. It’s really animal magnetism. It’s like moose, they scent, they have a scent and they send out the scent to their mate and the mates somewhere in the jungle and it goes: “time to mate.†And that’s basically what’s going to happen, not that we’re going to mate. It’s a metaphor. I’m going to go out there and I’m going to vibrate, I’m going to send out the vibrations of love. Because with this, with this body, I can speak five languages. I’m not going to name them all, but five. Basically I’m going to go out and give her the grease monkey. That sounds dirty, but it’s not. I might do a little bit of my pole routine, I don’t know. If I’m feeling crazy enough, if I have to go that far, doubt it. And then to top it off my last resort, never fails. Two words for you, ~FLASH DANCE~ !It's true. I am an evil, twisted, sadistic genius with delusions of grandeur, bent on the total humiliation of all those around me. I kill without reason or warning. I set impossible goals, and then I raise impenetrable barriers to the advancement of any who dare to challenge my supreme authority. I change the rules to suit my every whim. The only thing I can be relied upon to do is ensure that no one has a fair chance. I am no mere tin-plated dictator; even the laws of Physics cannot deter me. My godlike powers are without limit, and I use them freely and capriciously. Your abject surrender and worshipful adulation will not save you from my wrath... forever. It is futile to appeal to my better nature, for I have none. I will not keep your secrets, I will not try to soften the blows of misfortune, and I will never fail to heap insult upon injury. Your doom has been sealed: I am the MooseMan!
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