Patrik Högberg profile picture

Patrik Högberg

Patraskpatricier / P.H & the Neanderthal Orchestra

About Me

Sagt om Patrik Högberg:"Årtusendets bäste låtskrivare redan här!" Närkes Allehanda;"Wow!" Sohlmans musiklexikon;"I won't hide anymore, I want to adopt this s.o.b.!!" Elvis Presley;"He rocks my pants off!" George Michael;"This songwriter I can actually UNDERSTAND." George W. Bush;"Den där mannen läser min dagbok!" Anonymt.//////////////////Sagt av honom själv:Jag hittades av mina föräldrar i en skivback på Myrorna. De trodde att de hade köpt hem en femton-LP-box med ”Music You Want to Listen to (or maybe not)”, men glömde att faktiskt kontrollera skivorna och se efter om de var hela och om inte kanske någon fattades. Så ivriga var de att springa hem och lyssna på en välvald blandning av jazz, wieneroperetter, death metal, kupletter, pekingopera, visor, klassiska pärlor, evergreens, country, kletzmer, etnisk urfolksmusik, avantgardemusik och jag-vet-inte-allt. De blev emellertid inte besvikna. De fick allt det där – och med råge! Resten är, som det brukar heta, historia. (Musikhistoria.) Den skrattande hyenan har svingat sig upp som det dominerande MAJOR-skivbolaget (med en försäljning dubbelt så stor som dess två närmaste konkurrenter – vad de nu heter - sammanslagna). Enbart i Indonesien säljer bolaget årligen 50 miljoner stenkakor (det hetaste musikformatet – glöm Blueray!!), och naturligtvis står min musik för 99,73 av den försäljningen. Bland de tiotusentals hits (jag räknar medvetet lågt) som genom åren fötts ur mitt badrumsgnolande kan nämnas en handfull: ”Fjäriln vingad syns på Lagan”, ”Cecilia Blind”, ”Säg det med toner och inte med ackord”, ”Ta mig till travet”, ”Var nöjd med kivet”, ”Fight Christmas”, ”Fly me to the Spoon”, ”FatIsAction”, ”Sad”, ”Midwife in Moscow”, ”Jesper, I Can Boogie”, ”Pester Day”, ”If I Was a Bitch Man”, ja så här kan jag fortsätta nästan hur länge som helst! Till mina personliga favoriter hör dock lite mer avancerade trudelutter (men folk har ju så dålig smak...:-( hoppa över det här om det tråkar ut er) såsom ”Ödemssymfonin”, ”Fånskenssonaten”, ”Faire de lune”, ”Bar ber aren i Sevilla”, ”Vårtoffler”, ”Brandebykoncerterna”, ”Rhapsody in Glue”, ”De fyra hårstriderna”, ”Ajdå”, ”Tristan och i Svolder”, ”Stefan Rhen-symfonin”, ”Eine kleine Schlachtmusik”, ”Transjön” och... ja, jag skulle kunna fortsätta så här i timmar - så mycket gillar jag de här låtarna, men... jag måste ju komma i säng någon gång... och spolknappen på toastolen har fastnat och det är en modell som man antagligen måste krossa porslinet på för att komma in i... Tror ni att min hyresvärd kan skicka någon att fixa det där, så här dags? Jag är ju väldigt ljudkänslig (som ni antagligen redan har förstått?) och skulle få problem om det där otyget höll på att porla hela natten. Ja till porlande bäckar, nej till porlande klosetter!!!!! ”Schehera sade”, ”Fnoska”, och ”Bo ler, o!” är också grejer som jag är nöjd med... Men... Basta! Nog! Enough is enough! Nu måste jag verkligen kila. Vi får ta en kopp kaffe nån dag, hej! --- (P.S. För er som har hunnit oroa sig för mig: toaproblemen fick en oväntat rask lösning. Kasta bort era brevknivar - överlevnadsinstrumentet no 1 är och förblir: PINCETTEN!!)---------------ENGLISTH TRANSLATION:Emerging from the sea, raising themselves on their hind legs, the early Neanderhalians began playing the guitar and singing (without to much troubbling theirselves with their English). Their language of choice is the raw tongue of Neanderthalian (Swedish).In 1632 their top singer, Gustavus Adolphus, was killed at a gig down south (Lützen). They went underground and surfaced very sporadically during the next centuries. In 1789 they were reported being seen among the rabble which stormed the bastille. 23 years later they where spotted with matches in their hands just minutes before Moscow burned down. Swept in thick smokes of mystery and living in utmost obscurity, they were blamed for nearly everything.After two world wars, they were ruthlessly hunted down and almost extinguished - first by the mau-mau in the 50:ies and then by the khmer rouges. Somehow they managed to survive, taking refuge to the late disco scene and asorted defunct terrorist movements. (For three years they lived with the long since dead comrades of Gavriil Princip - not even bothering about how that could be construed by their tireless detractors.)At last, in the 90:ies, exhausted and not giving a shit, they took residence in the body of Patrik Högberg. Here they take full controll of all the instruments which Patrik himself is totally unequipped of playing. The controversy around The Orchestra Neanderthalis is bound to continue, but nowadays they are quite untouchable, submerged as they are in the body of a person who pleads his total innocence.
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My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 2/9/2007
Band Website: Spillepengens soptipp
Band Members: Löst folk från hela jorden. Företrädesvis folk som inte existerar och från områden som inte finns. ENGLISH TRANSFORMATION: The members wish to be anonymous, giving all the blame to their front man. COMMENT COMMENT: Yeah, Stomi, IS a Syd Barrett recording. He gave it to me when I was a small child. "Please take this", he said, "I must skip these songs in Swedish, before they declare me mad. They think I am insane, just because they don't understand the words!" // The funny sound on Handleder is due to a heavy cold. My guitar has recovered, but not totally. --- I am sorry to have to announce: my guitar didn’t make it – today, March 10, at 4.16 p.m. it exhaled it’s last breath and died. It left behind, totally destitute and impoverished, a grieving bathroom mirror and two small spoons. My neighbours are rejoicing and bottling up their champagne.
Influences: Sjukdomar, trams och trans, avföring, Anatole France, utskällningar, behov, förödmjukelser, doping... uppgjorda matcher... och allmän dålig sportsmannaanda - i gärdsgårdsserien, kreativt våld, gråtande barn och gråtande pensionärer, äckel-päckel och gosiga små rosa moln. /// ENGLISH TRANSACTION: The lead singer has managed to get some crumbs of information out of his inarticulate band members - mostly through dreams.One main influence is the trauma of struggling ashore before drowning, as a consequence of your gils suddenly being transformed to lungs.Then we have the agony of trying to raise yourself on your hind legs, in order to get hold of those bananas hanging so temptingly from a branch."Shoegazing" would be an adequate summary of those years, if only they had had any shoes.The wild disco scene the months around new years eve 1980.Card playing with the ghosts of the comrades of Gavriil Princip. (And mostly loosing.)The colour blue.Mammooths.Stones.Peas.P:s.Pits.
Sounds Like: Brittney Spears, Béla Bartók, Doris Day, Jockmocks-Jocke, Adolf Hitler, hoppsan-tjosan och clownen Manne - allt pÃ¥ samma gÃ¥ng. AlltsÃ¥ - mainstream. ANGLAIS TRANCE À LA NATION: waves pounding the beach, killing off some sea lions in the process; heavy stones being hurled against a door wich never opens; an elephant gently breaking through the ice; an old woman dying in her sleep; very soft and smooth volleyball music; well fed peasants dancing briskly in the barn without noticing the fiddler being strangled with his own violin strings; a silent anguish; an irritating cry for help; the deepest kind of remorse; sound; a teen-ager waking up in the bed of his best friend’s mother; angels falling in love...
Record Label: Den skrattande hyenan - talskivsdivisionen
Type of Label: Major

My Blog

Dont believe in blogs

The other day a friend of mine (well, he's actually a kind of hang-around  someone seems to pay him for hanging around, smiling at me and saying things, often very, very strange things) told me that ...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Thu, 20 Dec 2007 04:37:00 PST

Absolutely NO taunting intended!

The previous blog should not be read as a nasty taunting of anyone's religion! Do not read in references to any religion, might that be an existing one, an expired one or a future one!! Any such refer...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 02:14:00 PST

The Big Religious Taunting

THE BIG RELIGIOUS TAUNTING Once upon a time there erupted a craze for taunting other peoples' religions. One people made big sacrifices for their Frog god, so another people  a much bigger, richer pe...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 12:51:00 PST

The guy behind the comments - an introduction

My hired hurrah man here (the fellow who should help you all starting to cheer) - the bearded guy who writes all the comments to my blog (and who eventually has started to hand out his kudos) - has so...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Mon, 14 May 2007 09:17:00 PST

No news on the slave front

I'm working now as a shepherd - a GERMAN shepherd (for the Brits better known as an alsatian. (It's a good thing with online dictionaries!)) There's not much to report. The food is goOd, even though I...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Sat, 12 May 2007 08:17:00 PST

Turn the clock back

I leave the square (moving in a circle). Around me - INSIDE ME - the oxygen is going solid. In a step I freeze to death     stop     Behold my body, a bluish st...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Wed, 09 May 2007 05:49:00 PST

Fornication

I had more or less promissed to spare you any details of my sex life, but I am afraid that it was - alas! - rather frivollous of me. It's simply not possible to give you any impression of what is goin...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Wed, 02 May 2007 06:47:00 PST

Buying and selling

I go out in the street. It's cold - very cold. Some of the oxygen i breethe down in my lungs is beginning to liquify. It's hard for the gasses in the air to keep up being gasses. And I still haven't a...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 12:17:00 PST

Blogs from the past

The old blogs have survived. Recently Belgian bloggers found blogs written by old church fathers (you know what I mean), popes, Goths, Sumerians, Napoleon (I-III), Che Guevara, Buddha, king Charles of...
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Wed, 25 Apr 2007 09:28:00 PST

Blog censorship?

My blogs are beginning to be wiped out! Is there any form of very slow censorship here? Some of the wiped out blogs were probably masterpieces! Is there any way to retrieve them? HELP!!!!
Posted by Patrik Högberg on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 02:04:00 PST