CHOPS

Fresh faced fortune tellers!
Tear jerkers!
Motivational speakers!
One Love Revivalists!
We have no taste, but, ladies and gentlemen, we are your chefs tonight...
"Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! alas, poor ape, how thou sweatest! Come, let me wipe thy face; come on, you whoreson chops: ah, rogue! i'faith, I love thee: thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the Nine Worthies" (King Henry IV, part II: II, iv Shakespeare).
The following kind words were scribed by Upset The Rhythm.
CHOPS are a wild, damaged-dance band, who leapt from the cauldron of Leeds' ever-evolving DIY musical stew and hit the ground running in 2007, hellbent on perfecting their spontaneous combustion of jazzoid excess and lock-popping party bombs. The power-trio married up their love of fidgety drum patterns, effect-drenched saxophone and synthesizer showdowns in such a way that every broken sound that swelled forth was caked in euphoria and creeped-out gravity.
CHOPS don't so much make music as radiate it. Their sound is playful, often making unprejudiced leaps in harmony, sometimes defying logic in their conscious pursuit of the futile and incoherent in an attempt to echo our modern everyday. However that doesn't mean they are are random nonsense. Far from it, bold songs emerge from tumbling rhythmic soups, pulsing with life and purpose before they are sucked into another portal.
- - - - - - - www.upsettherhythm.co.uk/chops.shtml - - - - - - -
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Links to High Res Photography (all photos by Ian Marshall ):
Gap Sessions
Attack
Kriss Kross
Total Gold
Jump
Banging Your Head Against A Brick Wall
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Link to High Res UTR split 12" artwork by Brian Pom Kiki
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NEWS REEL, REAL NEWS....
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HOKABEN Festival! 7/8/9 November 2009 @ 93Ft East, London
Hokaben is a new music festival in the heart of London's east end. The festival brings together the weirdest / heaviest / craziest / most awesome underground bands on the planet under one roof. It’s all happening over the weekend of 7th, 8th & 9th November – so make sure you put that in your diaries. There’s only 750 tickets so you might want to be quick about it! The venue itself has 4 main areas – the main live room, a smaller live room, a more intimate bar and a large courtyard with benches for the smokers. CHOPS and a.P.A.t.T. are playing on the 7th November, which is the first date of our tour with them as we head off to France for a few weeks. The line up for Hokaben is:
SUN RA'S ARKESTRA, DON CABALLERO, FUCKED UP, ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE, KID 606, CHRIS CORSANO & MICK FLOWER DUO, PART CHIMP, GRAVENHURST, SHITMAT & DJ SCOTCH EGG, AUFGEHOBEN, TODD, TRENCHER, RAMESSES, I'M BEING GOOD, LORDS, SHIT AND SHINE, BIRDS OF DELAY, APATT, MUGSTAR, SJ ESAU, TEAM BRICK, HEY COLOSSUS, NEPTUNE, BODUF SONGS, VIALKA, STEARICA, ZZZ, ZUN ZUN EGUI, DETHSCALATOR, CHOPS, BROMANCER, IL GOBLINI, DEFIBRILLATORS... Plus Illegal Seagull curating The Small Bar, and Bugbrand Build An Oscillator Workshop.
ZXZW! We got a gig in Tilburg at ZXZW in September, and we've just started to book a week or so of dates after it from 22-28th or so, along with Moz's other band, TWO MINUTE NOODLES , who are also playing at ZXZW. ZXZW looks like it'll be really sweet - Sun Ra Arkestra, Wire, Pelican, Gay Against You, Torche, Guapo, Trash Talk, Ebola, Pulling Teeth, Usurper, LFO Demon, Pre, Z'ev, Religious Knives, Manatees, Enablers, Ponytail, Eva Braun, Munch Munch, Hey Colossus, Talibam!, Night Wounds, Judith Priest, Kylie Minoise, Nackt Insecten, $peedranch, and LOADS more!!!
TOURS!
SEPTEMBER 19th-28th - UK, Netherlands, France, Belgium with Two Minute Noodles
Booking - [email protected]
NOVEMBER 7th-23rd - France with a.P.A.t.T.
Booking Agent: Madame Macario
Email: [email protected]
www.myspace.com/madamemacario
Madame Macario Non-Profit booking for a.P.A.t.T. (uk.), CHOPS (uk.), Des Ark (usa.), Dispositivo Per Il Lancio Obliquo Di Une Sferetta (ita.), Experimental Dental School (usa.), Guts Pie Earshot (all.), Nisennenmondai (jap.), Pak (usa.), Stankey Kubi (fra.), Stig Noise Sound System (uk.), The USAISAMONSTER (usa.), Ty Sycaci (cz.), Uz Jsme Doma (cz.), World/Inferno Friendship Society (usa.)
2009.......... Our aim is to play 209 gigs in 2009. Which means we'll be touring lots! Yeah!
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ILL EAGLE VIDEO SHOOT!
Ben and Herod will be making a CHOPS video at the NCM Room in Leeds on 3rd August. They need to recruit 20 people to participate who will be required to:
1) Have their faces painted white
2) Wear hideous bermuda shorts
3) Eat cake
4) Dance in a simple choreographed fashion
5) Maintain a permanently glazed semi-smile
If you are interested in getting involved, please contact Ben at www.myspace.com/ncmroom or www.ncmroom.co.uk
The plot will take ages to explain, but the crux of the video has to do with a certain dance that they do on the West Indian island where Ben's parents are from, called the cake dance. When a couple get married it's customary for the guests to form a circle and the female friends of the bride and groom take it in turns to 'dance the cake', which basically means dancing erotically with it. You can hold it between your legs with two hands, like you would a man, or you can pop the cake on your head and then whine your hips. So the main focus of attention in the CHOPS video will be a big tv screen which will be projecting the raw footage of this dance and in turn will control the circle of bermuded up zombies (i.e you!?!?) and make you move in a way which is inspired by the raw footage. The tv screen has control over the people up until a certain point and then something special happens....
A very rough edited clip of some of some of the dancing can now be found on vimeo at: http://www.vimeo.com/1284577 . Ben has detailed the 8 fundamental moves of the video that people should learn and be able to perform with a modicum of aplomb....
1. Basic cake dance: Gentle whining of the waisting with arm in open position
2. Rock-by-cakey: the gentle rocking of the cake back and forth as if it is a baby, done with the legs slightly akimbo forming a sturdy foundation
3. Groin Thrust: Hands touching the top of the groin with the palms and pelvic thrusting whilst staring into the distance
4. Marching Groin Thrust : As above only done while walking forwards to the rhythm one foot at a time whilst flirting with your top exposing some breast if you feel the need
5. The Battyberg: The lowering of the cake down to the ground and whining of the waist and buttocks in a circular motion
6. Charging Goat : Charging at your neighbour with your groin like a goat, only to retreat once the enemy has backed off
7. Kriss Kross Buns: Two people intersect each other at right angles with their legs and jump up and down to the beat
8. Twist and Sheet: Walking backwards and forwards in a twisty stamping like motion with the knees brought well up.
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ALBUM! The Upset The Rhythm split 12" with Helheston will be out pretty soon (see below), and we'll be recording an album throughout July and August, at various locations, with various people at the helm.
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CHOPS/HELHESTON split 12" on coloured vinyl coming soon on UPSET THE RHYTHM RECORDS!
CHOPS has been invited into the bosom of Upset! The Rhythm , as part of their on-going vinyl split series of UK bands. We are fussy fuckers, and U!TR is one of the few groups of people we feel right at home and comfortable with; they are friendly faces, they have the right motivations and dedication, and they have mastered the delicate balance of DIY ethics and actually getting stuff done. CHOPS totally respects fellow risk-takers, and although this isn't a mutual kiss-ass exercise, we are naturally over the moon that they reciprocate the love. On Tuesday 10th July and Friday 3rd August, which seems so long ago already, we recorded at No Recording Studio with the very lovely John Hannon (who has previously recorded the likes of Trencher, Chrome Hoof, Birds Of Delay, James Blackshaw, Man Aubergine, Cleckhuddersfax, Woman, etc). We will be sharing the vinyl with HELHESTON , who were previously known as ON FIRE ; a trio from Brockley/Cambridge, who play clarinet, saxophone, violin, viola, percussion, guitar, vocals, drums and tapes. It will appear for your consumption sometime REALLY soon!!! The artwork, as seen above, was created by the lovely Brian , of Narwhalz (Of Sound) and Google Earth from the Pom Kiki Crew of Richmond, Virginia, USA. In the mean time, we recommend that you take time to listen to other U!TR releases;
----BARR
----DEATH SENTENCE: PANDA!
----ESQUILAX
----GOWNS
----HANDS ON HEADS
----HIGH PLACES
----KIT
----LEOPARD LEG
----JOHN MAUS
----NO AGE
----NUMBERS
----SOILED MATRESS & THE SPRINGS
----THE STICKS
----T.I.T.S.
----TRENCHER
----YIKES
Sneak preview of a CHOPS track from the forthcoming UTR split 12" available from Daze Digital - Upset The Rhythm Podcast , along side Gowns, Softboiled Eggies, High Places, Soiled Mattress & The Springs, John Maus, Hands On Heads, Death Sentence: Panda!, The Sticks, No Age, Barr and Future Islands. Another CHOPS song on a UTR podcast is available from Caff-Flick , along side 29 other bands such as Telepathe, Gay Against You, Abe Vigoda, Helhesten, Foot Village, a.P.A.t.T., etc! And yet another CHOPS song is on the 199th (March 14th) Z-Radio broadcast, along with Plush Kitty, Human Host, Air Hate Band, Weyes Bluhd and Axolotl, Bill Cosby and the Black Disaster, and Art Baker’s Colostomy Bag, etc. The ZRadio dudes rule, please go and listen, and keep listening, every week, without fail, for it will enhance your musical livelihoods very nicely.
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A message about the songs featured on this here profile:
It should be noted that, with the exception of 'OSPYLAC EMIT' from the forthcoming UTR split 12", all other songs featured on this here profile were recorded through a cheap microphone into an old laptop, mostly live and improvised at practices or at gigs.
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A couple of live reviews:
"We walk in to a resplurgent opening from CHOPS, Leeds' answer to nothing at all. It's all beats here and BEATS there and more beats, then some Lightning Bolt guitars and boom keyboards. Then some guy walks around the crowd talking into his microphone, or is he singing? Either way, it's a great performance." ( Magic Monster review of Black Dice, Family Underground and CHOPS, 17 March 2008 )
"I'm a prat. Got my times muddled and missed out on opening band CHOPS. Oops. I hear they were stupid but great, so that's that one hastily out of the way." ( Leeds Music Scene review of I Love West Yorkshire, 21st March 2008 )
"CHOPS, well god knows what they were like as my train didn’t get in on time to check them out, but they seemed pretty good at packing up their stuff." ( Sonic Mind Field Review of Deerhunter, High Places, CHOPS, 16 June 2008 )
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To contact us or book us a gig if you are not a total idiot::: [email protected]
To contact us or book us a gig if you are a total idiot::: [email protected]
Our 9 seater Mercedes Benz Sprinter Van is perfectly adequate for Earth travel! Invite us to your town (perhaps lure us with offerings of gold and vegan consumables?) and we will arrive; friendly, fresh faced, and full of beans!
Here is some generalised information for people interested in organsing a CHOPS performance The information is not intended to sound negative; we hope that this will serve the purpose of ensuring that our gigs remain positive, enjoyable experiences for everyone involved:
CHOPS is a dedicated and committed team! We will bend all the rules, open all the doors, flick all the switches, press all the buttons, and continue so on and so forth until we satisfy your every need.....
We enjoy playing gigs outside of the usual venue set up - for example; youth centres, old people's homes, festivals, city centre streets, schools, all ages venues, squats, office christmas parties, people's houses, village fêtes, practice spaces, etc. We also enjoy playing gigs with audiences not expecting to hear something like what we get up to. We would very much like to avoid crummy scenarios such as pay-to-play, idiot promoters, venues with aggro security guards, rooms that sound terrible, and where possible, audiences that suck on lemons.
We will often decide to not play on a stage. It is much more fun for us to be able to engage with the audience at close quarters. We are able to do this because we are a self-sufficient band; we have all our own gear - we don't neccessarily need a PA or sound engineer; all we need is the space to play, and some power sockets to plug into. Please be aware that we play LOUD. Please do not book us in venues with noise complaint troubles - we do not want to be responsible for a venue being closed down!
If we are on tour, or having to travel a considerable distance from Leeds, some food and space to rest weary heads when the party ends would be muchly appreciated, and earn you the great wealth of our heartiest of loves! CHOPS consists of one vegan, one vegetarian and one carnivore. We do not expect you to individually cater for each of us, and you should know that we are all happy eating vegan if that makes it easier for you! If you're worried you can't cook something vegan, don't worry - get in touch with us and we can give you simple recipe ideas, or if you want to buy some veg and let us cook in your kitchen, that's fine if we got time! We do not want you to book us hotels - if you're struggling to find us somewhere free to stay, we'd much rather you offered money to a friend to accommodate us instead of wasting the cash on hotels, etc.
Our guarantee is flexible, depending on the situation and circumstances... for example, we will ask for less on a quiet Monday in a small town than on a weekend in a big city. Our guarantee will cover our fuel and expenses such as contributing towards upkeep of the van, etc. If the event has been a great success and all the gig/venue/PA/band costs have been covered, we believe that it is courteous to divide any remaining cash fairly amongst the bands/performers; and on exceptionally cash-rich nights, for the promoter to keep a small amount of cash aside to help rescue any future gigs where things haven't gone so well. This is how we work when we organise gigs ( chinchilla ), and in our idealistic world, we keep our hopes up for similar treatment.
We very much look forward to playing with/for/amongst you, getting to know you, partying with you, .....
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Our Earth Human alter-egos can be found at the following internets:
----chinchillaweb
----quack quack
----two minute noodles
----i had an inkling
----eagle eye
----sense or this?
----inecto school
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Signing out, seeing you soon... CHOPS
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PAST GIGS:
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 33 :: July 19th @ Seven Arts Space, Chapel Allerton, Leeds with World Sanguine Report and Mucky Sailor
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 32 :: June 16th @ Brudenell Social Club, Leeds with Deerhunter , High Places
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 31 :: MAY 16/17/18 @ Chinchillafest 6, Brudenell Social Club, Leeds with Gay Against You , Cowtown , DJ Scotch Egg , Eats Tapes , Ex Models , That Fucking Tank , a.P.A.t.T. , Quack Quack , Zukanican + more!
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 30 :: MAY 3 @ Rootys, Custard Factory, Birmingham with Talibam! , Zombie Zombie , a.P.A.t.T.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 29 :: MAY 2 @ Keystones, Worcester with a.P.A.t.T.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 28 :: MAY 1 @ Portland Arms, Cambridge with a.P.A.t.T.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 27 :: APRIL 30 @ Sumo, Leicester with a.P.A.t.T. , Meteor Street
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 26 :: APRIL 29 @ Cargo, London (Upset The Rhythm) with YACHT, a.P.A.t.T.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 25 :: APRIL 28 @ The Junction, Bristol with a.P.A.t.T.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 24 :: MARCH 21st @ Brudenell Social Club, Leeds (I Love West Yorkshire) with International Trust , Micky P Kerr , The Terminals , Die Video Die , Silverlode , Don't Look Down
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 23 :: MARCH 17th @ Cargo, London (Upset The Rhythm) with BLACK DICE , FAMILY UNDERGROUND .
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 22 :: DECEMBER 29th @ The Library, Leeds, with Cowtown , Massive Heron , Insect Guide.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 21 :: NOVEMBER 25th @ The Old Blue Last, Shoreditch, London (Upset! The Rhythm) with Puttin' On The Ritz , Cowtown
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 20 :: NOVEMBER 24th @ Westhill Centre, Brighton (OOOSHFest) with Cowtown , Bilge Pump, Sailors, Ack Ack Ack, etc
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 19 :: NOVEMBER 23rd @ Le Pub, Newport (Lesson Number One) with Cowtown , Puttin' On The Ritz
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 18 :: NOVEMBER 22nd @ The Social, Nottingham (High Society) with Cowtown , Puttin' On The Ritz , I Love Sarah
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 17 :: NOVEMBER 21st @ The Race Horse, Northamton (FishMarket Music) with Puttin' On The Ritz , Cowtown , I Love Sarah
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 16 :: NOVEMBER 20th @ 13th Note, Glasgow (Nuts and Seeds) with Cowtown , Puttin' On The Ritz , The Beatles
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 15 :: NOVEMBER 17th @ Star & Shadow Cinema, Newcastle (New York Underground Film Festival) with Talibam! , Puttin' On The Ritz
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 14 :: NOVEMBER 16th @ Bar Fusion, Lincoln with Talibam! , Puttin' On The Ritz , The Mark 9s
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 13 :: NOVEMBER 15th @ Next To Nowhere, Liverpool with Talibam! , The International
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 12 :: NOVEMBER 14th @ Brudenell Social Club, Leeds with Talibam! , Tigers!
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 11 :: NOVEMBER 13th @ The New Queen Vic, Wolverton, Milton Keynes with Talibam! , Circuit Breaker
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 10 :: NOVEMBER 12th @ The Greenhouse Effect, Brighton with Talibam!
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 9 :: NOVEMBER 11th @ The Gramaphone, London (Knom) with Talibam! , Morviscous
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 8 :: JULY 19th @ Cardigan Arms, Leeds with a.P.A.t.T. , Duracell , Stig Noise
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 7 :: JULY 12th @ Bardens Boudoir, London (Upset The Rhythm) with Marnie Stern (Kill Rock Stars Records) , Hands On Heads , This Is My Condition
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 6 :: JUNE 12th @ Santiago's, Leeds, with Gay Against You (adaadat records) , House Mouse , Mucky Sailor
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 5 :: JUNE 10th @ Kiln Farm Social Club, Milton Keynes (Fortissimo) with Indian Jewelry , Cowtown , Action Beat , Orion Arm
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 4 :: JUNE 9th @ GALVANISED - Space Studios, London
Chinchilla were invited to participate in a 3 day festival, with a bunch of other labels, each providing two bands/artists (chinchilla put a.P.A.t.T. and CHOPS forward to play). Other labels involved included: Golden Lab (Manchester) , Curor (Brighton) , Unluck (London) , Seed (London) . 8th June: My Ambulance is on Fire, Goodiepal, Signals, Rocketnumbernine, Skitkanja /// 9th June: a.p.a.t.t., Le Couteau Jaune, Cowtown, CHOPS, Serfs /// 10th June: Chora, Isambard Kingston Brunel, Horatio Pollard, Clouds, Madame P, Stuckometer + Panel Discussion (Far Gone and out - The history of experimental music in the U.K.)
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 3 :: MAY 21st @ The Brudenell Social Club, Leeds (British Wildlife) with OvO (Load Records, Italy), TRIO-VD, Souvaris, Signuls, and Dome Stick.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 2 :: APRIL 27th @ The Klondyke Club, Manchester (Golden Lab) with Death Sentance: Panda! and Ford Maddox Brown.
CHOPS LIVE! Performance 1 :: FEBRUARY 28th @ The Library, Leeds with Clark (Warp Records), Random Number (Rock Action, Catmobile Records), WorriedAboutSatan