Nick Helm profile picture

Nick Helm

The Human Car Crash of Light Entertainment!

About Me


Hello You! Well aren't you lovely! Sitting there, fingers poised above your keyboard. Eyes sparkling with anticipation and wonderment like excited eye gems as to what possibilites lie in store for you on your trawl through the internet.
You are lucky.
And thank you for visiting me! Of all the millions of people you could have visited and all the billions of facts you could be looking up, you've decided to land here!?! On my site!
Blimey.
I am literally both honoured and humbled by your pressence. Thanks!
As you can see, directly above this 'About Me' block that you are reading right now as you read is a list of my upcoming gigs that I will be performing at in the near future. If you come along to any of them be sure to say hello.
Below this sentence right here is a list of some of the venues where you may have seen me.
Up The Creek - Greenwich
Downstairs At The King's Head - Crouch End
Mixed Nutz - The Camden Head - Angel
Laughing Horse - Camden
Theatre Royal - Stratford
Electric Mouse - Mile End
Sidesplitters - The Providence Bar - Brighton
Comic Angels - Redhill
Comedy City - Black Friars
Room For Pudding - Strongroom Bar - Old Street
Amused Moose Laugh Off - Camden
Sugar Reef - Piccadilly
Vibe Bar - Brick Lane
New Comedy World - The Essex Arms - Brentwood
The Space Theatre - Isle Of Dogs
O'Dowd's - Plumstead
The Black Horse Comedy Night - Archway
The Bedford - Balham
Touch Me I'm Sick - Barbican
The Bedlam - Edinburgh

I hope to add to these and I hope to see you real soon.
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My Interests

Mountain biking, rock climbing, walking on the beach and sun sets all get in the way of eating red hot chicken wings.
This is my power animal.

adopt your own virtual pet!

Your results:
You are Spider-Man Spider-Man 85% Iron Man 85% Robin 55% Hulk 55% Green Lantern 55% Superman 45% Catwoman 45% Wonder Woman 43% The Flash 35% Batman 35% Supergirl 33% You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

I'd like to meet:


I met Alice Cooper once and he turned out to be the nicest man on the planet, however I met one of my other heroes once and he turned out to be a twat.

I guess what I'm saying is that a name and a face doesn't always translate into a smile and a heart. It's much better to take meeting people in your own stride. Don't do too much too soon, don't run before you can walk. Start with the Green Grocer round the corner and enjoy their company for what it is, because the real heroes are the volunteers in our local Libraries, the fishermen on our oceans and the teachers in our schools.

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Music:

If I like it, I like it. Queen, Twisted Sister, AC/DC, Dr. Hook, Fleetwood Mack, Steve Forbert, Cat Stevens, Elvis, Fountains of Wayne, Dolly Parton, Pet Shop Boys, Pearl Jam, Johnny Cash, Brian Wilson, The Cure, The Smiths, Sugar Hill Gang, Nick Drake, Otis Redding, Tom Jones. I turn no one away from my audio manger.
However this is my new favourite song of all time...

I also collect Alice Cooper albums.

Movies:


There are others, but I'm just listing films now. I like stop motion and rubber puppets.This is funny...

Huh huh! Funny.

Television:

I don't watch a lot of TV, however Curb Your Enthusiasm, Spaced, BIG Train, Look Around You, The Office, Extras, Seinfeld, Futurama, Simpsons, Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens, Father Ted, Blackadder. Any cooking programmes (especially Rick Stein) and a big fan of Grand Designs and Ray Mears as escapist 'I wonder what I'd do in that situation' entertainment. I used to watch the Invisible Man when i was little with the other one from Man from UNCLE in it. That was good.

Books:


Lots of AutoBiographies and Biographies and reference books. Books which impart skills onto the reader. I read a lot of plays. I'm reading two books as we speak - which is good for me as I am lazy.
Here are some books that I was surprised to learn actually existed...

Note how the second edition Divorce for Dummies sidelines the legality of the original and instead has a ripped up Valentine's Day Heart on the front in order to really hammer home the misery of YOUR shattered relationship.

Heroes:

My Dad for saving the planet. My Mum for being amazing. Dracula. And of course...

My Blog

Agonising Pain

Today is Friday. I woke up in agonising pain due to the fact that I pulled both of my calf muscles at the same time in my sleep. This, as far as I know, is unheard of and almost definitely scientifica...
Posted by Nick Helm on Fri, 02 Feb 2007 06:24:00 PST