Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef profile picture

Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

Extended Network Banner made with MyBannerMaker.com! Click here to make your own!

Hello! My name is Gabe Newman. I am a former rodeo clown. See, I had a problem with alcohol. Every time a bull would chase me out of the ring, someone would throw a beer in my face!!! It got out of control. I ended up losing my job, but I never gave up.

I was a rodeo clown, or “bull fighter”, as we like to refer to ourselves, for a few years, but that was only after spending 15 years in prison! The name of the prison, you might wonder... it was called Corporate America! Yeah, it's that place where they tell you those are neckties you are wearing, but they're really nooses!!

I can't complain too much about Corporate America, because I wouldn't be here without them. In fact, I learned some very valuable lessons there, like goal setting. Being that I had kind of wandered through life living day to day without really setting goals... because they set all my goals for me... I found myself lacking passion for what I did anymore. That's how I ended up being a "bull fighter". It wasn't a logical step, it was just the best thing I had going at the time. So, I did it, but that didn't last either.

I remembered all the motivational speakers I had heard over the years, in Corporate America, and they all talked about goals. Not only did they talk about goals, they recommended I take the time to write them down. So, I finally did that. Here they are for your review. I think they are some pretty big goals, but I'll let you be the judge. They always told me to set goals that were challenging, yet realistic. Let me know what you think, and hey... thanks for visiting my site.

Goal number one, was to try my hand at stand up comedy! I accomplished that last year! The problem I found was that it didn't pay very well, but took up a lot of time. In order to make any money at it, you really have to dedicate yourself to it. I just didn't have the time. I had too many bills to pay and too many other things I had to take care of, but it was good for a few laughs!

Goals number two and three, I am still trying to accomplish... They're the real stretch goals! Goal number two, is a monetary goal. I want to make three-billion, one-hundred-six-milliion, nine-hundred-seventy-eight-thousand, five-hundred and fourteen dollars!

That's my number and I'm sticking to it. How did I come up with that goal? Well, that really is my number... so, if you wanna hit me up later, just punch in the numbers 3,106,978,514 and give me a call. I know it's a big goal, but like I said, that's my number... ok?

Finally, my last goal, another stretch, but very much desirable, is to become the next Hugh Hefner! See, I started this My Space thing about a year, or so, ago. During that time, I have sought out some of the most beautiful woman in the world to be on My FRIEND Space. Some of them you will recognize, and some of them you won't! But, no doubt about it, with my caviar taste, I'm sure you will agree, they are at least... very fine!

Part of the reason I did this is because after setting this goal nearly two years ago, I haven't gotten one step closer to becoming a real Hugh Hefner. So, i figured I'd try the virtual thing! It's pretty fun! See, I even have The Girls Next Door as my Friends!

At any rate, thanks again for visiting. Please feel free to browse My Space, and give me some feedback. And, if you wanna be a friend, don't hesitate to ask. I only have a few criteria... one is, no online strippers. Obviously, I don't mind beautiful women, or nudity, but I don't visit online stripper sites myself. So, I draw the line there.

Musicians & Bands... I approve if I like 'em, not arbitrarily, most of the time!

Be good, take care, and remember as my banner states... Love Through The Hate. There are a lot of bad things that happen to us in life. Just don't ever lose the Love by what happens. It's a decision!

LUB,

Gabe


Profile courtesy of MySpace Layouts

My Interests

Calm, soothing, groovy music. Baseball. Advertising. Family. Apple Pie & Chevrolet, although I prefer a Ford if it's not a hummin' tight Asian make.

I'd like to meet:

I meet so many people everyday, it's hard to say... but Pamela Anderson would be good! Uhhmm, how about Adriana Lima, Salma Hayek, DJ Heavy Grinder, Halle Berry, Catchang, Suchita Vadlamani, Betty Nguyen, Veronica De La Cruz... Basically, it seems like I just want to meet a bunch of women, right?

OK, let me expand my mind for a minute, how about, Chappelle, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, Wayne Brady, Drew & the Gang... Adrianna Costa... whoops there I go again... Ok, ok, ok back to other things & people... Bono & the Boys, Gwen Stefani (Double Edged Sword, huh?), those guys in Collective Soul, Bebel Gilberto (Sultry Bossa Nova Queen She Is), Michael McDonald, Norah Jones, Dolly Parton, Jessica Simpsummm can't be that dumb... she's just a great actress, right?

Other than that, I can't rack my brain over such matters... But, if Hef would let us use the Mansion, I think we got a pretty good guest list workin'. Of course, I'm OG so, you of the younger might want to add a few suggestions.

Yeah, how bout that... If you could have a party at the Playboy Mansion, who would you invite? Send me your suggestions and we'll try to get through to Holmby Hills! It'd be a great place to kick off the Great American Party (GAP: The Party That Fills The GAP!), the party I am the founder of, and the party for which we could build some constituency, you know what I mean? Pam for Pres in 2008! On second thought, since Pam has yet to step forward and accept her nomination, we're going with Carolla & Kimmel.... Carolla/Kimmel 2008!!! Please also visit www.myspace.com/carollakimmel2008 and join the party... The Great American Party!

For more info on the GAP... just email me, the Chairman, Gabrael Newman at [email protected]. It's for you, by you, and of you, for real!!! 8D

Music:

Bebel Gilberto & Sylvia Torres, Zero 7, Collective Soul... and whatever is to come. Musical tastes change with time and circumstances, but these will remain, plus just a few others...

Movies:

Don't have enough time. I need to retire so I can watch more of these things everybody talks about, but I have included a slide show...

Television:

Comedy Central, CNN. That's about it, and CC is on right now.

Books:

For the leisurely. Like I said, I need to retire...

Heroes:

JC, HH, It's a muddled up mess I know, but 'Ol King Sol, would probably understand.Extended Network Banner made with MyBannerMaker.com! Click here to make your own!

My Blog

My Uncle Sends Me These Things

Even though the tyrannical leaders of South Carolina have decided that a comedian can't be a serious presidential candidate as they display their true colors of the oligarchy that they are, Adam Carol...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Tue, 13 Nov 2007 06:36:00 PST

Thoughts Of Insignificance & The Goddess

It is abundantly clear and apparent that things are EXACTLY as I think they are contrary to what the scientists want me to believe.  As I see it, things are just about the opposite of the wa...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Sat, 10 Nov 2007 04:25:00 PST

Gabe Is Back!

...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 08:25:00 PST

Breaking News: Gabe Newman Commits Suicide...

Hello My Space Friends of Gabe.  Gabe Newman, momentarily unemployed and unemployable, was found lying in a pool of blood on a car lot somewhere in Northeast Georgia.  My name is Frank Rizzo...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Thu, 08 Nov 2007 05:43:00 PST

Kings Are Big Pawns

Is That Why Hillary Wants To Be President? For God's sake... even the feminists are divided over her.  Imagine that... Gloria Steinem, former Playboy "associate" and staunch supporter of women th...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Tue, 06 Nov 2007 06:49:00 PST

Hello

Add The Hello Page Now! Hello
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 11:45:00 PST

The Greatest Rejection Hotline Ever!

You Know You're Going To Run Into Some Creeps Tonight Ladies, So Give This Number Out! 310-697-8514 Call Now!! Call Now!! Call Now!! Call Now!! Call Now!! Call Now!! Call Now!! Call Now!! Call Now!! C...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:46:00 PST

Todd Rundgren

It's not everyday Todd Rundgren taps you on the shoulder and asks you for directions, but just the other day he did me.  Sure some people pretend to be other people... like former rodeo clowns, y...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:31:00 PST

Apartment For Rent

It seems I'm getting into real estate... One bedroom apartment located downtown overlooking North Campus, just $475 per month.  Washer & dryer in the building.  Perfect for viewing the T...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 09:10:00 PST

Positive Realism

It occurred to me just today that, as they say on the Adam Carolla Show, we have apparently "reached an all time low"...  I don't mean to put a negative spin on the positive realism I encountered...
Posted by Gabe Newman, Fmr Rodeo Clown & The NEXT Hef on Wed, 24 Oct 2007 01:16:00 PST