I'd like to meet:
Memorable Quotes from
"The Honeymooners" (1955):
Ralph: Don't start that again, Alice. No wife of mine is gonna work. I got my pride. You know, no Kramden woman has ever supported her husband. The Kramden men are the workers in the family.
Alice: Wait a minute, Ralph. What about your father? For a long time there he didn't work at all.
Ralph: But neither did my mother. At least he kept his pride, Alice. He went on relief.
[Alice is asking Trixie to pick up some groceries for her when Ralph walks in]:
Alice: Maybe you won't have to get the margarine, Trix. Four hundred pounds of lard just walked in.
Ralph: You have just said the secret word, Alice. You have just won a trip to the moon.
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Alice: Ralph, what do you need ten dollars for? What crazy scheme have you got in mind now?
Ralph: It ain't no crazy scheme. I need the money to rent a costume for the party tomorrow night.
Alice: Rent a costume? I thought you were going to do what you did last year - wear a torn undershirt, talk out of the side of your mouth and go as Marlon Brando.
Ralph: If any of the Racoons ever get sick, it'll be my responsibility to go and visit them.
Alice: Oh, that is a very important responsibility, Ralph. You better start now and find out what the visiting hours are at Bellevue.
Ralph: That did it, Alice - that did it. You have just broken the camel's back with that straw. You have ridiculed my brother Racoons. You have just made fun of something very big that's close to my heart.
Alice: The only thing big that's close to your heart is your stomach.
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Ralph: I have - I've got an explanation. A perfect one. I'm a dope. Not a run-of-the-mill dope, the world's champ. For years I've been talking for granted the most wonderful thing tht's ever happened to me - you. I've never shown you the appreciation you deserve, Alice. You could walk outta that door right now and I wouldn't blame you. You deserve something better than me. There are a million guys who'd give you anything if they could have a girl like you.
Alice: Ralph, I don't want a million. There's just one guy I want: you.
Ralph: Baby, you're the greatest.
Ralph: This is probably the biggest thing I ever got into.
Alice: The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants.
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Ralph: Yessir, this is the time I'm gonna get my pot of gold.
Alice: Just go for the gold, you've already got the pot.
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Ralph: One of these days, Alice, one of these days, POW.
Ralph: One of these days, Alice, one of these days... bang... zoom.
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Alice: Ralph, if Trixie doesn't start getting some sleep, she'll waste away.
Ralph: Trixie wasting away? What about me wasting away?
Alice: You couldn't waste away in nine years.
Ralph: How would you like to waste away on the moon?
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Ralph: Hamana-hamana-hamana-hamana.
Alice: Ralph there's only one thing you can do. Only one thing. You just gotta go down there and give them back the $5, 000 and tell them the truth.
Ralph: They don't care about the $5, 000. This installment is on the stands now. They'll be laughed out of the business. What are they going to put in the next installment? Bus driver won't die from scratching fleas?
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Ralph: [placing hands on hips] I've got it here, and I've got it here.
Alice: [placing hands on hips and stomach] You've got it here, you've got it here, and you've got it here.
Alice: I call you killer, cause you slay me...
Ralph: And I'm calling Bellevue, cause you're NUTS!
