Dan Bukszpan profile picture

Dan Bukszpan

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I wrote a book, "The Encyclopedia of Heavy Metal," published by Barnes & Noble. The foreward was written by my favorite heavy metal singer, Ronnie James Dio. I also write various articles for various publications, including the New York Post, Guitar World and Hails And Horns.

I was in a band called Slow Horse . I sang, played the guitar, co-wrote the music and wrote all of the lyrics. We were in no way affilliated with these guys or these guys . I currently have a new musical project in the works, but it's still none of your fucking business at this point.

I am a web designer and extreme HTML coder. One of my clients is a medical website. I resize photos of diseased vaginas for them.

I have a kind of half-assed website .

I enjoy naps, operatic power metal, and yelling at the TV.

My Interests

Schadenfreude; metal; proto-metal; operatic Euro-metal; epic sword metal; country; country and western; outlaw country; country that's too country for country; The Bear Family label; trivia retention; disco; storage media.

I'd like to meet:

Sycophants.

Music:

ABBA, Atomic Rooster, Selda Bagcan, the Beatles, Black Sabbath, Blind Guardian, the Blue Sky Boys, Candlemass, Carnivore, Anita Carter, Neko Case, Cat Power, Celtic Frost, Dead Can Dance, Deep Purple, Dio, Steve Earle, Flower Travellin' Band, Free, Lefty Frizzell, Lisa Gerrard, Merle Haggard, Emmylou Harris, PJ Harvey, Jimi Hendrix, Husker Du, Idaho, Iron Maiden, Stonewall Jackson, Wanda Jackson, Jesus Christ Superstar, Judas Priest, King Crimson, King's X, Kyuss, Led Zeppelin, Hank Locklin, the Louvin Brothers, Low, Lucifer's Friend, Rose Maddox, George Mgrdichian; Bob Mould, Willie Nelson, Nightwish, Roy Orbison, Vernon Oxford, Johnny Paycheck, Webb Pierce, Pink Floyd, Ray Price, Queen, Rainbow, The Rolling Stones, Rush, Saturday Night Fever, Scorpions, Billy Sexcrime, Jean Shepard, Slayer, Connie Smith, Hank Snow, Soundgarden, Wynn Stewart, Swans, Tea Party, Townes Van Zandt, Voivod, Gillian Welch, Kitty Wells, Speedy West and Jimmy Bryant, Hank Williams, Tammy Wynette, Yes, Faron Young, Neil Young

Movies:

Alien, The Apple, Brazil, The Bridges of Madison County, Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan, Capturing the Friedmans, Children Of Men, A Clockwork Orange, Crumb, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, The Devil's Backbone, Dr. Strangelove, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Fight Club, Flash Gordon, Grey Gardens, Ghost World, Heavenly Creatures, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Hillary and Jackie, Idiocracy, In the Company of Men, The Jackass Saga, The King of Comedy, Kingpin, Little Miss Sunshine, Lolita, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Pan's Labyrinth, The Pianist, Ran, Requiem for a Dream, River's Edge, Robocop, Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, Saturday Night Fever, Shakes the Clown, The Shining, Showgirls, The Star Wars Saga, Taxi Driver, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Titanic, Trekkies, Welcome To The Dollhouse, Whale Rider, Wonderland, You Can Count on Me

Television:

Absolutely Fabulous, America's Next Top Model, Chappelle's Show, The Colbert Report, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Da Ali G Show, The Daily Show, The Dog Whisperer, Intervention, King of the Hill, Love Connection, Match Game, The Newlywed Game, Project Runway, Real Time with Bill Maher, The Simpsons, Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, Strangers With Candy, To Catch A Predator

Books:

Oriental Wet Snatch Monthly

Heroes:

Stanley Kubrick, Bill Maher, Borat Sagdiyev, Wonder Woman, Neil Young, Tony Iommi

My Blog

On virtue

Today while I was changing Roman's diaper, he started pissing. The yellow fluid manifested itself in a majestic arc that leapt skyward like King Fahd's Fountain in Jeddah, and it got on my shirt and p...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Mon, 22 Oct 2007 07:52:00 PST

I need an intervention, part 2

I have always bought music compulsively, ever since I was in high school. With the advent of the compact disc, which coincided with my first full-time job (and, therefore, my first real paycheck), thi...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 10:55:00 PST

It's the 10th anniversary of my first panic attack!

Today is the tenth anniversary of my first panic attack. I thought I should memorialize that in some way, and I was racking my brain all day, wondering what I could possibly say about it. I guess I've...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 10:54:00 PST

DAN'S MOVIE REVIEWS: Superman Returns

Wow, this movie really sucks. I'm glad I didn't pay to see it in the theater. Although having it assault me in the comfort and safety of my own home is no bargain either. I guess the reasons I'm watch...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Sun, 08 Jul 2007 01:47:00 PST

More pictures of Roman (feel free to skip this)

As freaked out as I was last night about fatherhood, I can't ignore the simple fact that Roman is a complete fucking camera whore. I mean come on, look at this shit:The above blanket is courtesy of my...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 02:00:00 PST

4 a.m. shit loss, baby-related

I'm watching the baby and having a low-grade panic attack. OK, I'm exaggerating, but this is some freaky shit. I just fed him an hour ago and he's fine. He went right back to sleep. He's fine. I keep ...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Fri, 06 Jul 2007 01:05:00 PST

Roman Oddgeir Bukszpan

Born June 26, 2007, at 12:28 pm. 8 lbs., 8 ounces and 21 3/4 inches long. He is like a little shaved ape in his hugeness. He is a baby Yeti....
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:06:00 PST

Fuck it. I WILL talk about my apartment woes.

I hate the summer. I hate the heat. I hate the humidity. Today it's 92 degrees, so of course I have a bunch of shit to do that requires me to be outside. I just picked up the keys to our new apartment...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Thu, 31 May 2007 11:36:00 PST

I need an intervention

We're moving to a new apartment next week, and when we wrote the letter to our landlord asking for our security deposit back, I said that it should be succinct and dispassionate. This is because in ca...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Sat, 26 May 2007 01:58:00 PST

The Next Temptation of Tracheotomy Boy

Assuming nothing happens between now and four days from now, May 28 will mark 2 years since I quit smoking cigarettes. I had made one other lame attempt before, over ten years ago, but that died a qui...
Posted by Dan Bukszpan on Thu, 24 May 2007 02:47:00 PST