I'd like to meet:
My imaginary friend Jesus. Baby Bongo, a baby born in deepest darkest Africa with not one, but TWO complete heads! Four eyes, two mouths, two noses--two heads, on one baby boy. Why, just think of it! You look at that baby boy with two eyes! But that baby looks back at you....with FOUR!!
Music:
I like the flute. Also the pan flute, especially when played by a man wearing prosthetic hooves. The tuba is only enjoyable when played after a fat lady falls into a mud puddle. Likewise, I can only listen to the slide whistle if somebody's pants are falling down, and the gong when a Chinese man says something funny. I like the piano when the high keys are tinkled, especially while I'm slinking around the corner of a building on my tippy toes.
Movies:
I am a big fan of that film that grew on the side of the luncheon meat I found between the cushions of my couch.
Books:
The 95 Theses. The Domesday Book. The Complete Idiot's Guide To Gonorrhea. Prostitution And You: A Self-Starter's Handbook. Three Brown Things To Avoid. Smell My Fury--The History Of The Dutch Oven.
Heroes:
Ulysses. Hercules. Perseus. Theseus. Really, all the great heroes. My sister, who still claims that her first 12 pregnancies were the result of a dirty toilet seat.