I can dance in several languages. I'm the greatest coffee maker in the world. I hunt sharks with my bare hands. I once lived with a wandering pack of pandas just to start a cult. I have low arches in my feet. I'm quasi colour blind in my mind. I fight barbarian hords coming out of Vermont. I pillage Japanese villiges. I sing like a manitee. I hate dolphins almost as much as I hate horses. I am also a pirate. I can drink a Beer Chang faster than any man that has ever lived.Truth be told I am the greatest aspiring writer the world has ever seen. Seriously. Read some of my stuff and you'll be amazed at my ablity to blend insane bizzaro dystopian literture with food condiments and childrens shows. I am currently writing my first anti-novel. It's going to be spiffy. My band ain't too bad either. Matter of fact it's the best band in the world. Zaba Tzare and the Dirt Stars will be the next big thing on TRL. Promise. Just ask me and i'll prove all of this to you.
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