Neil Martinson profile picture

Neil Martinson

Sorry for the add!

About Me

I'm a hazel-eyed Moonchild -- friendly, dapper, and mystically inclined. I was born and raised in New York City, but I've lived in San Francisco for 14 years. My parents were indulgent and very kind, which explains a bit about my unusual confidence and jovial disposition. Destiny has bestowed upon me an active mind and furious metabolism, which allow me to grasp things that seem to mystify or baffle others, yet I often come up short in the more practical spheres of life. Still, I envy those people for whom humility, simplicity, and honesty come naturally; not that I'm conceited, contrived or a liar, but let's say I struggle to ground myself in certain basics. My faith in God is solid and hard earned, not the result of an inherited or dogmatic belief system. I love to dance, make beautiful and detailed things, lurk in plain view, contemplate the moon and stars, and gaze deeply into natural and human beauty. I have worked with handicapped kids by day for over 13 years. All my life I've taken great pleasure in gussying myself up to carouse at night. Basically, I'm an artist whose primary medium is the social-cultural life, which includes publishing a sporadical magazine called Proof, curating art shows, organizing, hosting, and dj-ing music events, and trying to create a lively, thoughtful, provocative atmosphere wherever I go. I avoid fisticuffs and intoxicants: I prefer lucid, civilized discussion. Like many, I am largely motivated by sex and attractive people, but I cultivate ideals to temper my folly. Although generous to a fault and highly sentimental, I enjoy a fetishy, alpha type personality and am extremely bossy in the bedroom. (Yes, my name is an order.) I aspire to an egalitarian, Christian-Anarchist perspective, and try to appreciate everyone's individuality, but I'm weary of dull, jaded hipster-clones. I occasionally fret and fuss over futile minutia, but ultimately rest in the knowledge that Destiny gives each of us exactly what we need. I'm a loner with many friends yet I always want more. I prefer the fast lane, but I'm cautious and always indicate before making a turn. I suppose I am poised on the last rung of confidence before it becomes cocky, but I'm secretly shy. Reverent yet perverted. (Perverent?) I squint hard at the last purple before XXX-rays. I have a keen eye for nuance and innuendo, but often miss what's in plain view. I pluck at the electric guitar in a mercurial, staccato manner -- you can check out a few song sketches by my erstwhile band Inklings at http://www.astoundingtrousers.com/theInklings. My only neurotic habits are: talking to myself (a lot), counting my steps as I walk down the street, preferring companions to walk or sit on my right side, and habitually setting my myspace profile views back to zero. Favorite colors (in combination): black and shiny golden, red and wintergreen, blue and yellow with thin red stripes ... Totem animal: Fox. .........................................................I must say, I'm really tired of reading profiles here of people whose only interests are 'all things dark and morbid' ... you know: serial killers, medical atrocities, black magic, fascism, human ugliness, gloom'n'doom'n'crap. Give me a break! If this is you, I'm sorry, but you're a drag. Don't get me wrong, I lived through the 1970s & 80s, avidly studied all forms of bullshit, and probably know more about that stuff than you. I love all kinds of weird, screwy things that most people don't understand or appreciate ... But who in their right mind builds an identity around sheer negativity? The 'dark side' of human nature is not cool or romantic; it is stupid, ignorant, and selfish (not to mention lazy and cowardly). ....................................................Anyway, now that I have you thinking my way, let me elaborate our shared outlook a bit further: To effectively subvert the prevalent world-view (which is reductive, reactionary, materialistic, technophiliac, irreligious, and otherwise wrongheaded in innumerable ways), we must replace it with something superior. Life is best enjoyed with a healthy balance of gravity and hilarity, courage and caution, joy and sadness, pride and shame, excess and denial, sympathy and antipathy ... To find the center is key, and I do not mean a repetitive routine. Rather, we must strengthen a dynamic fulcrum where one can enjoy the extremes without bouncing from one pole to the other like a helpless emotional pendulum. This is the esoteric meaning of being Christian. It's not about fighting your body or denying your sensual nature; on the contrary, it's about recognizing our essential shame and guilt and learning to interact with it creatively. Human beings are social creatures and we cannot survive separate from the True Vine. If our lives be theater, we should perform with dignity, stagecraft and a respectful wink to the Almighty. Yea, so be it. ... Also, thongs are absolutely not allowed: Pantyline is hot. Ahh, but enough about me! ... No, actually, on second thought, here is some more about me:

My Interests

These are a few of my favorite things: fancy duds and tony digs; progressive rock, pastoral rock, and space rock; sleazy movies, silent movies, and fantastic movies; occult science and esoteric religion; black licorice, fresh berries and whipped cream; getting head in public places; stylish people who dress and behave as though they were in a science fiction or fantasy story. Also, women who wear thigh-high stockings with garters should be given a promotion, and whoever invented naked sex should be fired. (Yes, I suppose I'm a bit odd about clothes and undergarments. The human body is indeed a lovely thing, especially the female form. But I concur with Goethe that, as in all matters of artistry, it is the task of humanity to improve upon God's creations. And so it is a high calling to adorn our bodies in a variety of pleasing garments and thus make them more beautiful!)The following may seem odd to those of you unfamiliar with the more recondite aspects of life in the 21st century, but I am curious about werewolf/robot sex ("RRRAAHHR" : "Beetle boop!") ...

I'd like to meet:

I am always delighted to encounter other mystical dandies, illuminated fops, earnest eccentrics, hardworking creative artists concerned with beauty and truth, and people who love Christmas half as much as I do. I generally fall for vivacious kittens, shy foxes, and friendly reindeer. Lively limbs, a warm smile, a kindly disposition, and a sense of adventure go a long way with me. Ideally, you should live in a beautiful world of your own design, excited to be alive but not quite in sync with the times.Also, take note: I have started an Obedience School for Disobedient Girls. Strong, smart, independent females only need apply. Orientation begins the moment we meet, and matriculation commences upon my consent. The ideal student: You are not afraid of life, you are eager to experience all that your femininity has to offer, and you are ready to express it in the appropriate setting. You enjoy dressing up and feeling attractive, and you are not dissuaded from pursuing your deepest desires by the genderphobic impositions of pseudofeminists. You expect men to be considerate, polite, respectful, stylish, and open-minded, but -- most importantly -- you are tired of making all the decisions in bed. You can stand your ground in any conversation and enjoy lively discussion, but you are flexible and not argumentative. You are aware of sexism, but enjoy being objectified in the right context, and you wish more men knew what they wanted and did it without apology or anxiety. Your fondest desire is to be manhandled by a dominant gentleman (gentlemanhandled). You are guided by your heart and mind, and you recognize that your body is a gift to enjoy. You strive to improve yourself, but do not fret over things you cannot change. In short, you are the woman of the future. (Please scroll down my Comments to read what a few graduates have to say about it!)

Music:

These are a few records I recommend. An obvious place to start would be my favorites Beatles albums "Revolver" and "Magical Mystery Tour", as they are templates for most interesting popular music that was to follow. But I will try and steer you into slightly less well-trod areas ~ Of all the wonderful records by The Bee Gees, for beginners I'd narrow it down to "First", "Trafalgar" and "Spirits Having Flown" as exemplars of their 3 main phases (psychpop, ballads, and disco, respectively) of their 3+ decades-spanning, peerless career ~ If you're in the mood for soft rock, you just can't beat David Gates' tunes on Bread's "Greatest Hits" ~ However, the most beguiling pop vocal harmonies I've ever heard are to be found on 3 records by The Free Design: "Kites Are Fun", "You Could Be Born Again" and "One by One", and also The Millennium's "Begin" ~ While we're on the subject of American 60s psych, I am partial to The Association's gem 4th lp "Birthday", and though everybody agrees that Love's masterpiece is "Forever Changes", I recommend the criminally underrated "Out Here" ~ Have you heard Emmitt Rhodes? He earned his rep as the American Paul McCartney, and his first 2 solo records are as good as anything he did with his wonderful band The Merry Go Round ~ A neglected American psych album worth nabbing is The Four Seasons' "Genuine Imitation Life Gazette" (yeah Frankie Valli and his paisans from Jersey did something way-out, but it flopped and they never tried it again) ~ Of course, the entire Beach Boys catalog is crucial, but I always push the undervalued "Friends" and profoundly apocalyptic "Surf's Up" albums. ~ In my opinion, the finest Bitish 60s psych-pop albums are "Something Else" by The Kinks (their "Village Green Preservation Society" is a close second), The Small Faces "There are But Four", and The Zombies "Odessey and Oracle" ~ The record that I paid the most absurd amount for, and which I cherish above most other possessions in my little world is the UK band Kaleidoscope's first record "Tangerine Dream" (no relation to the soon-to-be-mentioned German band) ~ One of the tragic fates of 60s British psych was the mis-handling of mod-turned-psych band The Action whose unreleased (at the time) masterwork is now to be found under the title "Rolled Gold" (You can't beat it when singer Reg King intones "Button down your collar, straighten out your tie!"); after floundering in obscurity for a while, they disbanded, Reg King put out a great solo album and the rest reformed as Mighty Baby for 2 swell albums ~ Although I love almost everything about The Move, I'd have to list "Shazam" as my favorite Move record, I practically weep when I hear the guitar solo on their psyched out cover of Tom Paxton's "The Last Thing On My Mind" ~ For sheer brilliance and audacity, one must acquire the first 4 records by Brazilian acid-freaks Os Mutantes ~ I am almost inordinately fond of the first 4 Queen records, too ~ And if you haven't heard "Scott 4" by Scott Walker, you don't know what you're missing; his commanding baritone reaches its zenith on this hideously maligned masterpiece (And what DOES he mean by "Can't you see the towers of my naked shine like a dime"? I picture a big wet phallus...) ~ For delicate 60s chamber pop, locate a compilation of anglophile Bostonians The Left Banke, and anything Michael Brown did afterwards (mainly, MONTAGE) ~ If you're fond of Zombies' vocalist Colin Blunstone (on, say "One Year" or "Ennismore"), you will find a similar boyish charm on his former roommate Duncan Browne's exquisite debut lp "Give Me Take You" ~ Of course, what hipster doesn't own and worship Nick Drake's "Bryter Later"? The only song more beautiful than "Northern Sky" is Audrey Hepburn's original version of "My Huckleberry Friend" (my title for Moon River) ~ To hear what Elton John should have been doing in the mid-70s, check out John Cale's "Paris 1919" ~ If you ask me, people who don't appreciate The Troggs have a screw loose or something (that means you, Christof), so you should attend to the lp "Love Is All Around" ~ For British space rock, I recommend Pink Floyd's "A Saucerful of Secrets", Hawkwind's "In Search of Space", Steve Hillage's "Fish Rising" and the 1/2-French band Gong's "You" and "Angel's Egg" ~ For German space rock, one must acquire Amon Duul II's "Wolf City", Faust "So Far", Cluster's "sowiesoso", Kraftwerk's "Autobahn" and "Radioactivity", Popol Vuh's "Letzte Tage, Letzte Nachte", and "Future Days" by Can (note: Can's bass player Holger Czukay has a super-cool solo record called "Movies") If you enjoy the 3 NEU! records (and why wouldn't you?), you should seek out what those guys did after breaking up: the first 3 Michael Rother albums and also La Dusseldorf's early stuff, not to mention the 2 Harmonia records) ~ As space rock veers towards pre-smarmy New Age, one may assume a reverential stance before Teutonic masters Ash Ra's "New Age of Earth" and Tangerine Dream's somber double record set "Zeit" ~ I am a dribbling fan of all things Robert Wyatt, but for the uninitiated I recommend "Old Rottenhat" or his late 90s album "Shleep" ~ For British folk rock, one would do well to attend the mightie and merrie "Liege and Lief" by The Fairport Convention, or the Incredible String Band's "Hangman's Beautiful Daughter" ~ Aside from his greatest hits, I would also recommend Donovan's fancyass "Barabajagal", "For Little Ones", "Cosmic Wheels" and "H.M.S. Donovan" ~ In awarding go-for-broke, insane rock hijinx, the trophy must go to The Monks' "Black Monk Time" (They were actually quite popular in Germany - What if their tonsure hairstyle had caught on?) ~ and for sheer unreal beauty, White Noise's "An Electric Storm" blows my mind as thoroughly today as it did when I first heard it at the tender age of 11 ~ Now, imagine if 3 naive pre-teen girls from the boondocks of New Hampshire picked up instruments and decided to make up their own music from scratch -- or better yet, go find a copy of The Shaggs' wonderful "Philosophy of the World" and hear for yourself ! Then, when you've accustomed yourself to their mangled purity, get the follow-up "Shagg's Own Thing" to hear what happened when they learned to tune their guitars! ~ The greatest funk records of all time are surely Sly and the Family Stone's "Fresh" and Parliament's "Osmium" ~ For lush chocolatey soul, I favor Marvin Gaye's never-overrated "What's Goin' On" and Curtis Mayfield's lovely "Back To The World" (not to mention his old band The Impressions' maginificent "Young Mod's Forgotten Story") ~ For an unusual blend or progressive and rootsy rock, check out "Fearless" or "Bandstand" by Family (trust me, it will grow on you), or Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band's "Lick My Decals Off, Baby" ~ For out and out, unbelievably majestic progressive rock, one must withstand the disdain of the cowardly and ill-informed hipsters and purchase copies of "Nursery Cryme" by Genesis, "Close To The Edge" and "Relayer" by Yes, King Crimson's "In The Court of The Crimson King" and Caravan's "If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You" (mark my words, prog is back in style and these records are to be considered de rigueur in every hipster's collection, and woe betide any who badmouth Yes on Judgment Day!) ~ The best of the current spate of weird, Continental prog re-issues would be Italian band Pierrot Lunaire's "Gudrun", available on Akarma Records: kind of angular and intense like Faust, but more melodic, really great! ~ I love Slapp Happy and am searching for a vinyl copy of their beautiful "Acnalbasac Noom", though I'd recommend their latest release "Ca Va" as being one of the best records of the late '90s ~ Now, to understand all the following records, it is highly advisable to pick up Brian Eno's "Another Green World", for verily I ask: what was postpunk but Punk + Eno? (An argument could be made for + Kraftwerk, but whatever...) So yeah, while you're shelling out your life savings on all the above recommendations, pick up The Durutti Column's "Return of the Durutti Column", Blondie "Plastic Letters", Wire "154", Chrome "Alien Soundtracks", Dif Juz "Huremics", The Cure "Faith", Television "Marque Moon", Colin Newman "A-Z", PIL "Metal Box", The Virgin Prunes "If I Die, I Die", Ultravox! "ha! ha! ha!", John Foxx "Metamatic", Tuxedomoon "Half-Mute" and "Desire", Yello "Solid Pleasure", Joy Division "Closer", Section 25 "Always Now", Magazine "Secondhand Daylight", any early Felt, OMD "Organisation", and Echo & The Bunnymen "Heaven Up Here" ~ From slightly left field, I am a big fan of the late Tango master Astor Piazzola's record "Zero Time", and the most beautiful jazz record I've ever heard is Charles Mingus "The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady" ~ And lastly, sneak into your mom's purse and nip a few dollars to buy The Go-Betweens "16 Lover's Lane" (RIP Grant McLennan) ~ Lately, my 3 favorite 45s are: "Serenade" by The Shocking Blue, "She Belongs To Me" by Bob Dylan, and "Reach Out In The Darkness" by Friend and Lover. Any questions?

Movies:

Here are a few choice movies (leaving out mosty of the really obvious ones): Eraserhead * Spider Baby * Freaks (& everything else by Tod Browning) * The Curse of Her Flesh * Decoy * Orson Welles' Mr. Arkadin * The Brood * eXistenZ * Videodrome * Eyes Without A Face * The Tenant * Pasolini's Arabian Nights * Pippi Goes On Board * Valerian Borowczyk's The Beast * The Image (aka The Punishment of Anne) * Tarkovsky's Solaris * Night of the Hunter * Sinthia The Devil's Doll * The Saragossa Manuscript * Teorema * The Lickerish Quartet * Don't Look Now * Mudhoney ... Leaves A Taste of Evil * Hump of the Sado Queen * Beyond The Valley of The Dolls * L'Age d'Or * Los Olvidados * Belle de Jour * The Love Toy * The Amazing Transplant * A Thousand Pleasures * Score * Bedazzled (the original 60s) * Shampoo * Jess Franco's Female Vampire * Jean Cocteau's La Belle et la Bete * Creature From The Black Lagoon * Carnival of Souls * The Exotic Ones * Andy Milligan's Torture Dungeon * Spirited Away * Marketa Lazarova * Mask of the Shy Man * I Know Where I'm Going * Peeping Tom * Curse of the Demon * Curse of the Cat People * Monkees' HEAD * Point Blank * Dead of Night * Night Tide * Billy Liar * The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein * anything with Edward G. Robinson * Lon Chaney * Buster Keaton * Charles Laughton * Robert Mitchum * Walter Houston * Sidney Greenstreet * Veronica Lake * Julie Christie * the list could go on ...

Television:

I don't get any channels on my giant screen tv and I don't really miss it, but I am recently impressed with Stephen Colbert's use of the medium. I have enjoyed everything by Christopher Morris, especially Brasseye and Blue Jam. And Steve Coogan is absolutely brilliant. SCTV, Mr. Show, Mr. Ed, The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Freaks and Geeks, Arrested Development, The Prisoner, The Avengers, Lars Von Trier's the Kingdom, Small Wonder, UnHappily Ever After with the lovely and talented Nikki Cox ... If there were a station with 24 hours a day of The Beverly Hillbillies, my sanity would be in serious jeopardy! Granny, where are you?

Books:

Growing up, whenever an unfamiliar word came up in our house, there was always a race to the dictionary , so I got into the habit quite young. In my youth I read mostly comic books, during young adulthood I read literally thousands of novels, now I gravitate to Western occultism & esoterica, as well as books about movies, psychology, and bdsm ... also still a few novels & lotsa comics. I enjoy great literature from all eras, especially German Romantic philosophy. I recently have read or re-read Dostoyevsky and Celine, Flann O'Brien, B. S. Johnson, John Hawkes, Gilbert Sorrentino, Hubert Selby, William Gaddis, Philip K. Dick, Juan Goytisolo. Rob Hardin, Christopher Sorrentino, and Jonathan Lethem are among my favorite contemporary authors and friends. Curtis White is really smart. If you haven't read The Bible, what are you doing fooling around on the internet? Get thee hence!

Heroes:

Rudolf Steiner, Pier Paolo Pasolini, Philip K. Dick, G. K. Chesterton, Rainer Maria Rilke, Johan Wolfgang Von Goethe, Julie Christie, Veronica Lake, Reese Witherspoon, Freddie Mercury, Sergio Dias Baptista, Peter Daltrey and Eddie Pumer, Steve Ditko, Plastic Man, Boris Vian, Melissa Roberti.

My Blog

Another survey, this one for a young lady.

1. Can you cook?I once burned down a skyscraper, sifted the edible parts and reduced them to a savory sauce in a frying pan, then served it at the country club and used the profits to feed starving or...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Mon, 30 Jul 2007 12:37:00 PST

a recent interview with me

A delightful young fellow named Ryan Froemming befriended me here on myspace, and then conducted an interview with me, which will hopefully end up in some online magazine at some point. Here it is, sl...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 09:26:00 PST

Sometimes I allow myself to be earnest (a work in progress)

It has often been pointed out to me that I live a pretty charmed life, and admittedly I seem to have been granted a fairly auspicious karma. But recently it seems as though I suffer from this advantag...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 07:12:00 PST

Another silly quiz to acquaint you with my peculiarities.

1. What is your first name? It's an order!2. What color underwear are you wearing now? Not sure but it gives me intermittent electroshocks.3. What are you listening to right now? The inexorable and me...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Treasure your loved ones

I'm feeling a bit more coherent today, and I have a few things to write regarding the recent death of my good friend Pandora. Many of us were really looking forward to having her back in San Francisc...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Learn more about Neil from this SILLY QUIZ!

1. What is the geekiest part of your music collection? That would be all the millions of tons of hip hop and rap. Super retarded crap. 2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? tritur...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

rearranged ... nothing new

Recently, a small super-8 movie camera was inserted into my head, behind my right eye socket. (All the photos on my profile are pre-op.) As the lens aparatus resembles a monocle, I have donned a Victo...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

el bloggo numero two

Hey yeah like today the weirdest thing hapened to me! Oh my god, there I was just walkin down the street, and some weird guy comes up and says "Like, I know you!" and I'm like "Whatever!" And he's all...
Posted by Neil Martinson on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST