mike giles

i don’t get those pencil beards that dudes sculpt into their face. i realize way too late that i have eaten too many cookies. my ringtones are the police, james brown, johnny cash, guns ’n roses, and outkast. gotta work on my vibrato. i keep blowing up light sockets around my house by trying to replace them without any clue as to what i’m doing. i love the smell of aveda. the power on my tv remote doesn’t work, which is kind of the whole point i thought. i listen to sports talk radio religiously. i live by lowes. i have a difficult time putting on wiper blades. my pops needs to retire. the last christmas letter i wrote was multiple choice. i thoroughly enjoy the sense of accomplishment i get from doing dishes. my garbage goes on mondays. we won the world series in ’06. i cut my own hair. i can’t seem to keep up with those peel-a-day calendars. my mom is a lunchlady. i can’t really draw. i floss with some regularity, but don’t do it as hard as my dentist. it’s probably time for me to buy some new sweatpants. i don’t drink soda pop, unless there’s some liquor involved. i like buying magazines but don’t really get around to reading them. not a huge fan of spiders. man, dolphy sounds great. i’m getting tired of ironing. i’ve owned a new thermostat for about 18 months now and have no idea how to hook it up. i don’t like sandwiches. my boys broke our yellow couch. the guy who delivered me was named Dr. Cool (still is, i’m assuming). my dad is a trucker. simon estes knows my kids. i think espn is too loud. i’m totally into those break-n-bake cookies that you throw in the oven. i can’t believe they traded A.I. and K.G. i end up driving a lot. i ride bikes with my kids, but let them beat me to the intersection. i DO like playing changes, i just DON’T like playing the same old shit out of the book. i can’t seem to make chinese food at home taste anything like the stuff at the small chinese joints. dairy gives me gas.