Dvine Misfortune - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Myspace Contact TablesMyspace Layouts by Pimp-My-Profile.com

I'm mean as dirt and 3 times as sarcastic. I have chronic insomnia and drink way too much coffee. The 2 are NOT related. I'm kinda creative and somewhat intelligent. I paint, I write, I cook, I eat live worms and crickets. I don't like most people and think they should be uncomfortable. I sigh...a lot. I curse like a sailor. I am obsessed with pie, John Waters and my 1960 Plymouth Belvedere, D-VINE. As a child, I always wanted the grape-shaped puzzle piece to fit into the banana-shaped hole. It never did. Not even after I threw it against the wall! I am married to the jerky baron, Screamin' Steven. Together, we have an amazing daughter, Lex. I fully expect to become a ghost after I die. I really want to see things from the other side. I have an unhealthy fixation with insane minds and secretly fear I will never know the luxury of true madness. My dream is to live in an abandoned sanitarium. What kind of Zombie are you?
You are a Resident Evil Zombie. You were infected with the T-Virus, and now you wander through abandoned buildings looking for living flesh to munch. Sometimes you mutate into more horrible things. You can be killed, but it ain't easy.
Take this quiz !
Quizilla | Join| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com
You scored as Friedrich Nietzsche. Well you're an egotistical maniac, and you are so very iconoclastic that you probably are currently lost in a post-modern Jupiter, I mean jungle of self-definition.Don't let it get you down though, someday, through a willful onslaught of reinterpretation of dated forms and ideas, you will strike on something that passes as remotely new, and people WILL be into it on the basis of how hip it is alone. Also, the average espresso drinker looks up to you.

Friedrich Nietzsche

100%

Dante Alighieri

75%

Miyamoto Musashi

67%

Stephen Hawking

67%

C.G. Jung

67%

Sigmund Freud

58%

Elvis Presley

42%

Adolf Hitler

42%

Jesus Christ

42%

Steven Morrissey

42%

Charles Manson

33%

Hugh Hefner

25%

Mother Teresa

O.J. Simpson

8%
What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You?
created with QuizFarm.com

My Interests

Dadaism, modern art, sideshow acts and art, painting, making F.art (furniture art), reading, cooking, photography, perfecting my bug-eating act, searching for the best piece of pie in the world.

I'd like to meet:

Okay, here's my ALIVE tea party list: Henry Rollins, John Waters, Tom Waits, David Lynch, Alice Cooper, Poison Ivy, Lux Interior, Tim Burton, Dita Von Teese, Bettie Page, Rose McGowan, Gary Oldman, Bruce Campbell, Crispin Glover, and Jim Rose......and my DEAD tea party list: Marcel Duchamp, Edgar Allan Poe, Joey Ramone, Mahatma Ghandi, H.P. Lovecraft, Humphrey Bogart, Myrna Loy, Man Ray, Friedrich Nietzsche, Alfred Hitchcock, Dashiell Hammett, Elvis Presley, Kurt Vonnegut, and the lovely Divine......and my FICTIONAL tea party list: Crystal Lil,Kilgore Trout, Nick and Nora Charles, Alex, Pete, Georgie & Dim, The Mad Hatter and the March Hare, Invader Zim, Annabel Lee, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Hellboy, Alice, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Bokonon, Atticus Finch, and Sam Spade.

Music:

The Mad Daddys, The Cramps, Billy Joe Winghead, Dexter Romweber, Tom Waits, Alice Cooper, Link Wray, Elvis, The Pretenders, The Ramones, Iggy Pop, The Mummies, The Sex Pistols, Dead Kennedys, Marilyn Manson, Ministry, RevCo, Hank Williams, Hank 3, Wayne the Train, The Fuzztones, Truckadelic, Jack Black, The 5 6 7 8's, Jimmy and the Teasers, Bauhaus, Devo, Patsy Cline, Stray Cats, Frank Sinatra, Reverend Horton Heat, The Supersuckers, Public Enemy, Guitar Wolf, Grandmaster Flash, Joan Jett, Queen, Johnny Cash, Tav Falco, Rammestein, AC/DC, Oingo Boingo, P.I.L., Henry Rollins, Robert Goulet, and Richard Cheese.

Movies:

The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Thin Man movies, all John Waters movies, especially Female Trouble, Wild at Heart,The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Mirrormask, Hellboy, Sin City, A Clockwork Orange, The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, May, Motel Hell, Carnival of Souls, Re-Animator, Secretary, Fist of Fury, Dark City, The Dangerous Lives of Altarboys, Dead Man, Freaks, The Fifth Element, Tideland, Sid and Nancy, Bubba Ho Tep, Memoirs of a Geisha, all Godzilla movies, 8-Legged Freaks, Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Coffee and Cigarettes, Night of the Living Dead, White Zombie, Escape From New York, Beetlejuice, The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and her Lover, Delicatessen, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Ed Wood, Dracula, The Hanuting, The Head, The Fly, Amelie, Evil Dead trilogy, Hellraiser, I Married a Witch, Rebecca, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Basquiat, Resident Evil, The Lost Boys, Office Space, Dogma, Clerks, Raising Arizona, The Hudsucker Proxy, Silent Hill, Donnie Darko, Young Frankenstein, Grindhouse, Spider Baby, Mad Love (the Peter Lorre 1)...............and THE MANSTER!!!

Television:

Twin Peaks was the finest tv show ever. Period. Now, I am obsessed with forensic shows. I also dig IFC, Sundance, TCM, the history channel, or the science channel, The Simpsons, The Daily Show, Ghost Hunters, Ghost in the Shell, Anthony Bourdain, The Henry Rollins Show and the orignial Iron Chef.

Books:

Geek Love, all Poe, Lovecraft, Bradbury, Vonnegut, and Heinlein. Memoirs of a Swordswallower, Freak Like Me, all Dashiell Hammett, The Invisible Man, Psycho, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Girl, Interrupted, Wicked, A Clockwork Orange, Alice in Wonderland, The Man Who Turned into Himself, The Piers Anthony Incarnations of Immortality, Stephen King, Anne Rice, as well as books on ancient religion and quantum psychology and physics. I love Bondage Fairies, Johnny The Homicidal Maniac, Tales of the Zombie, and Xombie comics.

Heroes:

My daughter, Lex, Marcel Duchamp, Edgar Allan Poe, Crystal Lil, Divine, Adam the 1st Real Man, and Felix the Cat.

My Blog

Why I hate nearly every piece of art Ive ever done...

It's true, but don't take it the wrong way. I think the hatred for my art is something I need to experience. My artistic chain to tow. I just want to learn to be comfortable in my uncomfortable-n...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Sun, 27 Jul 2008 07:24:00 PST

Like a bat out of HELL!

That's the way my driving has been described for the past 14 or so years. Ever since I bought D-VINE. My husband says it. My friends say it. My mechanic says it. People I have never met in my fucking ...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 04:52:00 PST

The Red Shoes

Ballet...don't laugh. Really. Ballet was the art for which I showed talent at an early age. I started ballet at age 4 and quickly stood out from the rest of the little girls in my class. At 4, I took ...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 07:00:00 PST

I lied...

While drinking coffee and reading the paper on my screened-in front porch this morning at 7:30 am, I was struck again by the ghost of my childhood. The birds were singing, the morning sun was peeking ...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:21:00 PST

Kissing boys, tire mountains and meningitis...

I end my nostalgic trip back to my childhood with 1 final memory. If you've enjoyed the trip, please tip your bartenders. If you haven't, it doesn't matter as I'm really only writing these memories fo...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 05:00:00 PST

Teacher crushes and dead snakes...

My first teacher crush... It was 3rd grade and I was 8 years old. Her name was Miss Blankenship and it was her 1st year teaching. She had an idealistic gleam in her eye and a smile that lit...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Fri, 30 May 2008 05:23:00 PST

The Fire, Water, Earth, Air and Spirit of childhood friendships.

It seems I have unlocked something in my brain that refuses to be contained any longer. Like trying to close a jack-in-the-box with a broken latch, my childhood memories refuse to be enclosed and...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Sun, 25 May 2008 07:05:00 PST

I am the firefly master!

Just now, I decided to take a break from working on the display windows due tomorrow and I opened the back door to let in the dog. When I opened the door, I saw several green twinkling lights in the u...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Sat, 24 May 2008 07:10:00 PST

Fritz the cat...

Right now, I'm obsessed with my childhood in Kentucky. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel and smell the memories. And yes, they have a scent. To me, they smell like honeysuckle in the heat of ...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Thu, 22 May 2008 05:20:00 PST

Under the porch with little Sally..

Same time in my childhood...same little town in Kentucky... My family lived on 3rd Street in a large 2 story 100-year old house that used to serve as the town's Methodist parsonage. It was pale...
Posted by Dvine Misfortune on Tue, 20 May 2008 07:52:00 PST