Tony Maglio is a miracle of modern evolution. Born a boy, he became a man. Tony is a product of perfect genes. He is both a man's man, and a sensitive humanitarian. He is kind of like if ESPN and Lifetime got together and had a child. And then Lifetime accused ESPN of having a drinking problem. And then Lifetime bitched and moaned that Tony never does dishes and broadcasts too much poker. Well you know what Lifetime, Tony works his ass off so why don't you get off his back. I'll come home when I'm good and ready.
Tony Maglio is the kind of guy who gets way too into fantasy football. He makes his girlfriend join the league so he can use her team as an extension of his roster, and then screams at her when she beats him in week six.
Tony Maglio thinks he speaks Spanish far more fluently than he actually does. Spanish people despise him for this trait. So do the waitresses at his local Chili's. But that's a whole different story altogether.
