Mike - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a struggling comic from Cleveland Ohio. Struggling to be funny, not to make a living at it. That will never happen, so I just try to annoy as many people as I can using a microphone. )( ) ( )('http://myspace.nuclearcentury.com/images/banners/banner88 13.gif');"
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My Interests

I like long walks on the beach with dwarfs, anything that can be connected to garden gnomes, ping pong, strippers and the movie Xanadu.And of course, O&A Party Rock! I'm also a card carrying member of Stanhopes Sausage Army! Ten Hut motherfucker!!.. width="425" height="350" ..

I'd like to meet:

The guy that invented speed dating. Where else could I get rejected 12 times in 30 minutes? Well, actually everywhere, but thats not important. .. width="425" height="350" .. .. width="425" height="350" ..

Music:

Disturbed, Salvador Dali's long lost brother Renaldo, Motorhead, Alice Cooper, Avenged Sevenfold, Anthrax, Metallica, Helloween, Armored Saint, Corrosion of Conformity, Dropkick Murphys, Guttermouth, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Steel Dragon,Pantera,Damageplan,Black Label Society,Mudvayne, Ozzy,Stephen Lynch and Harry Chapin.

Movies:

Anything Monty Python, Boondock Saints, SuperTroopers, Rocky Horror Picture Show, DemonGate, anything Kevin Smith did that didn't have Liv Tyler, 6 degrees of Seperation

Television:

MXC, The Ultimat eFighter, In Living Color,Cops and any Law and Order

Books:

Chicken Soup for the Anorexic Soul,Wired, the Short life and Fast Times of John Belushi, anything by John Sanford, Deadlines by John Skipp and Craig Specter,any Doug Adams, Legion by William Peter Blatty, Bill Hicks:Agent of Evolution,David Sedaris and Lil Jimmy Nortons "Happy Endings-Tales of a meaty breasted Zilch". If you only read one book this year, make it a pop up book.

Heroes:

Kid Rock- Not only was he bangin Pam Anderson, but he has a 75 Caddy convertible,and he had his own midget until he killed it. ..

My Blog

Go west Young man

For those that know me, my intense, burning love for alcohol and music are only rivaled by my lack of self control while under the influence of either of the above mentioned things. So imagine when th...
Posted by Mike on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 10:24:00 PST

My latest Brain Droppings

Here we go again folks, strap in... A girl got her feet cut off on a ride at 6 Flags. It was the Supeman Tower of Power. How ironic that something called Superman took away a persons ability to walk.....
Posted by Mike on Fri, 20 Jul 2007 11:15:00 PST

This may seem trite

Ok, this is not very pressing, but what the fuck is wrong with the douchebags at Burger King? I order a chicken sandwich. The bag weighs easily a pound and a half. I open it, theres: Chicken- 4 ounces...
Posted by Mike on Fri, 20 Jul 2007 10:37:00 PST

Brain Matters, 6/13

I know its been a while, but I doubt any of you have noticed. Heres a few things creeping through my head in the last few months... Of all the fashion trends that have come and gone, why is it t...
Posted by Mike on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:22:00 PST

6 Strange things about me...

6 Strange things about me... So I get a comment saying I've been tagged. I guess its a comment telling me I have to read my buddy's blog, and do exactly what he does, namely tell 6 weird thi...
Posted by Mike on Mon, 18 Dec 2006 09:18:00 PST

This week in review

Been a fucked up week in Melbo-land.Actually, thats an understatement.But, here it is in a nutshell, as well as some random brain shits... I got a call from a friend in Vegas, making nominations for t...
Posted by Mike on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 09:03:00 PST

Random thoughts and scribbles on a greasy pizza box

Here are some things I can't get out of my head... Why is it I'm perplexed by the fact the woman in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Truly Scruptious) knows all the words to a song she just walked in on, but ...
Posted by Mike on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 05:48:00 PST

All is right with the world

I have found the reason that America is the greatest country on earth... And that reason is a silly game of chance.I was in one of several local watering holes yesterday. (For those familiar with the ...
Posted by Mike on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 08:39:00 PST

Women fight dirty

I got in an argument today with a woman. Typically, I avoid arguing with women because they fight dirty.In this case she stopped me cold. We were discussing something trivial, when she started pulling...
Posted by Mike on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:14:00 PST

Chicago, My kind of cess pool

So I was lucky enough to go to the ninth ring of hell this weekend- Chicago! For anyone who has never been there, I can sum it up for you- ROAD RAGE!!! See in Chicago, if you have the intelligen...
Posted by Mike on Tue, 25 Oct 2005 10:30:00 PST