Absinthe profile picture

Absinthe

The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts!

About Me

I am worth $2,335,044.00 on HumanForSale.comI'm physically quite lazy and "in shape" only in the sense that round is a shape, but I can always find the energy for a last-minute road trip or a spontaneous sightseeing adventure, especially when the destination offers a bit of sleaze or debauchery. I'm bi myself and a genetic female, but straight bars (and most straight crowds) tend to make my skin crawl, so when I'm clubbing or socializing, I usually prefer queer or alternative venues.My closest friends tend to be singers, writers, artists, actors, DJ's, designers, club kids, twinks, drag queens, porn stars, dancers, strippers, escorts, models, lunatics, lushes & visionaries. TURN ONS: Kindness; spontaneity; passion; androgyny; self-sufficiency; youth; beauty; harmony; communion with a soulmate; clever wordplay; comfortable silences; warm nights; eyeliner; silky skin; high cheekbones; complexity; sensuality; rhythmic bass; the sounds & smells of a city street at dusk. TURN OFFS: Waste; homophobia; chauvinism; politics; religion; body hair; flakiness; sports; reality TV; dumbing-down; conflict; discord; binary thinking about gender or sexuality; moodiness; helplessness; drama queens; submissives; users; wrinkles & flab (especially my own); cruelty; lousy spelling and grammar.I spend a lot of time with computers (either fixing and rebuilding them for other people, or tinkering with my own for hours on end) but music, thrift shopping and travel are my true passions. I also love gourmet cooking, torch songs and entertainment, so if I ever grow up I'd like to open an intimate little cabaret and bistro, somewhere on the French or Italian Riviera.

My Interests

Soulmates; travel; queer culture; androgyny; thrift stores; trannies; twinks; vamps; vixens; jazz clubs; piano bars; cabarets; strip clubs; burlesque queens; leather, latex, pvc and vinyl; redheads; skinny eyebrows; unselfconscious displays of affection; pansexuality; people who can make me laugh; the velvet mafia; champagne; gastronomy; seafood; drag shows; eBay; economic voodoo; goth/glam fashion; visual-kei; hair dye; wigs; fantasy and stage makeup; costuming; road trips; tequila; sushi; cultural anthropology; Tallulah Bankhead; Dorothy Parker; Alexander Woolcott; crimson and vermillion; lust; love; gender blending; rain; drunken singalongs; comedy; clever wordplay; double entendres; cunning linguists; satire; modern history; glampyres; trivia; cartoons; bishounen boys; rhinestones; kissing; highbrow romance; lowbrow humor; pagans; intellectuals; libertines; inverts; perverts; catamites; philanthropists; optimists; hedonists; sensualists and sweet, self-sufficient young TOPS with whom to share my life, my bed & my increasingly grim world view. "In post-modern terms, gender is the perfect simulacrum - the exact copy of something that never existed in the first place"

I'd like to meet:

Clever cabaret crooners; witty accomplices; vamps; androgynes; anorexics; sushi chefs; bail bondsmen; libertines; catamites; t-girls; nightowls; people with extra livers; Venus as a boy.

Music:

House; Disco; Electronica; Pop (mostly Brit, Vintage and Indie); Vocal Jazz; Classic Soul; Funk; Some Hip Hop; Some Triphop; Downtempo/Chillout; New Wave; Dance; Lounge; Jive, Swing and Big Band; 80's Goth; Classic Country; Showtunes; Easy Listening; AM Gold; 70's Soft Rock.

Movies:

Light Sleeper; Auntie Mame; Fingersmith; Shortbus; Bound; Amores Perros; The Cooler; The Prestige; Pan's Labyrinth; Bad Education; Maria Full of Grace; Tipping The Velvet; Ma Vie En Rose; Liquid Sky; Velvet Goldmine; The Triplets of Belleville; Exotica; Farinelli; most Jeunet films (City of Lost Children, Delicatessen, Amelie, Very Long Engagement, etc.); Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys; Kontroll; Spirited Away; In America; Office Space; Little Voice; Alien; Requiem For A Dream; What's Eating Gilbert Grape; Heavenly Creatures; Overboard; Lair of the White Worm; Quiet; Happiness; Kinky Boots; Not Angels But Angels; Paris Is Burning; Talented Mr. Ripley; American Beauty; Farinelli; Wonderland (1988); Rocky Horror; Bugis Street; Santa Sangre; Sirens: Mandragora; Gattaca; Girl Most Likely To; Guys and Dolls; Death Becomes Her; Dance With a Stranger; Princesa; Carrie; Y Tu Mama Tambien; Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss; The Fifth Element; Scandal; Angels and Insects; Labyrinth; Legend; Spirited Away; Aimee and Jaguar; The Fluffer; Transamerica;

Television:

I don't watch a lot of TV other than The Simpsons, to which I have an almost slavish devotion, but I do like Reno 911; Adult Swim (ATHF, Family Guy, Home Movies, Harvey Birdman, etc.); Futurama; Law and Order; Arrested Development; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and some of the pre-conspiracy X-Files

Books:

Mark Twain, Fran Lebowitz, David Sedaris, Clive Barker, Terry Pratchett, Stephen King, Dave Barry, P.J. O'Rourke, Anne Rice, Douglas Adams, Tanith Lee, Elmore Leonard, Ted Heller, Marc Almond, Pat Califia, Seth Morgan, Douglas Copeland and William Gibson.

Heroes:

David Bowie; Marc Almond, Freddie Mercury; Trevor Horn; Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff; Mark Twain; Salvador Dali; Aubrey Beardsley; Alastair; John Austen; H.R. Giger; Frederic Leighton; William Bouguereau; Erte; Thierry Mugler; Karl Lagerfeld; Vivienne Westwood; Henry Mancini; Johnny Mercer; Burt Bacharach; Margaret Sanger; Jonas Salk; Marie Stopes; Anne Rice; Aleister Crowley; B.F. Skinner; Way Bandy; Matt Groening; Quincy Jones; Moe Gale & Charles Buchanan; Lars Carlsson. Just for fun, let's expand the "heroes" category to include pop idols and crushes too, so that I can salute the following: The early years: Pete Burns; Doctor Robert; Morten Harket; Nick Rhodes and John Taylor; David Sylvian; Terry Bozzio; Marilyn (aka Peter Robinson); The later years: Malice Mizer; Dir En Grey; Moi Dix Mois; Jude Law; Edward Furlong; Johnny Depp; Milla Jovovich; Famke Janssen; Justin Bond; Brian Eno; Micko Westmoreland; Brian Molko; Tara Emory and Lui Antinous.

My Blog

Nothing says "I Love You" Like a Venom-Red Viper Convertible

In case any of you are feeling unusually extravagant this Valentine's Day, here are a few of my personal stats along with a mini wish-list... Mailing Address: Jayne Friedman 853 W. Carmen 3 Chicago, I...
Posted by Absinthe on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 10:03:00 PST

"I Call The Big One Bitey"

SIMPSONS TRIVIA CHALLENGE:1. When Kang and Kodos are first introduced, what is their stated relationship?2. What kind of business was Ned Flanders in before opening the Leftorium?3.  Is  "Co...
Posted by Absinthe on Sat, 03 Nov 2007 03:41:00 PST

NOW a warning?

Beloved MySpace, what would I ever do without you?You're just so damn SEDUCTIVE, you see...each unread comment or unexplored link tantalizing me like a gift-wrapped parcel under the Christmas tree. Al...
Posted by Absinthe on Thu, 23 Feb 2006 04:26:00 PST

Pussy-Aid

To everyone who attended my emergency veterinary fundraiser on Saturday night, thank you, thank you, thank you!The party was loads of fun, with about 60 guests total, maybe more.I'd expected 45-50+, a...
Posted by Absinthe on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 01:05:00 PST

London Calling

Woohoo, it's finally here! I leave for my English vacation tomorrow and will be gone for just over a week. Found two homestay hosts through my couch-surfing network and the first looks like a real kin...
Posted by Absinthe on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:58:00 PST

This Just-in: A Haiku Ode To The Delightful Mr. Smith

Chivalrous and smart VERY easy on the eyes...Hotness trifecta!
Posted by Absinthe on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 06:39:00 PST

Recipe For A Hangover

Apply 2 glasses of Tanqueray and tonic directly to an empty stomach.Follow immediately with 1 jumbo, extra-lime Patron margarita, and stir briskly.Wait twenty minutes, then add 3 glasses of Stoli and ...
Posted by Absinthe on Sat, 22 Jul 2006 09:53:00 PST

Miss Jayne's 2006 Guide To The Shadowy World Of eBay Electronics Listings

"Huge untested lot of laptop hard drives - reseller's goldmine!" = A bunch of IBM Travelstars which all failed testing 3 years ago, along with one operational drive - a Connor 540mb. "Blazing fas...
Posted by Absinthe on Mon, 13 Feb 2006 09:04:00 PST

You Give Love A Bad Name

So, I recently joined the Red Lipstick & Black Eyeliner group, which is a club catering primarily to "alternative" bisexuals, for example emo, rockabilly, goth, punk, etc.One of the women in the g...
Posted by Absinthe on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

The more things change....

In an interview conducted just after the second world war, Hitler's former Reichsmarshall Hermann Goering made the rather Machiavellian statement that the common people can always be manipulated into...
Posted by Absinthe on Tue, 22 Nov 2005 09:31:00 PST