Sweetie The Ferret - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm an urban polecat with some fine ass champagne markings. This cold weather's giving me the damn rat tail, and that pisses me off. I have sharp teeth, an accurate olfactory system, and if my stupid-ass owner didn't clip my nails I'd shred!!!

My Interests

Tunneling, Scratching, Sniffing, Rolling around on my back spazzing out, Freudian psychology, Astronomy, Gourmet cat food, burrowing in clothing, and Death Metal. I shouldn't even have to mention it, but biting ankles is a keen interest I have.

I'd like to meet:

Ermines, Mongooses, Minks, Stoats, Snow Weasels, possibly a Skunk. (no rodents or fatties)

Music:

Squeaky rat toy, screams of young children, middle aged men sobbing, and early Elton John.

Movies:

Jean Luc Godard, Tarkovsky, Uzo, and Good Burger.

Television:

Never watch it, the shit they have on these day is weak! Except for Deal or No Deal, that is a hoot.

Books:

I occasionally like to rip up my books, and drag the paper remains behind the bookcase to set up a nest. But goddamn!!! Every time I do it, the next day the nest is gone. My owner is so lame.

Heroes:

Rikki Tikki Tavi, Churchill, Deepak Chopra, E.T.

My Blog

My horrifying near death experience

Thursday - November 29th, the scene of the crime: my bedroom. It's been colder than hell lately, and I've taken to burrowing deep into the clothes hamper for my warm naps. Sure the clothes smell awful...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 02:16:00 PST

Kid Nation

This was like the best television show in the whole history of all human civilization.It reminded me a little bit of the Lord of the Dance but with way more anal rape.Finally the television set offer...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Mon, 24 Sep 2007 02:47:00 PST

Apocalypso - A Show Review

Don't go see this violent movie if you're expecting bouncy, fun, Harry Belafonte-esque, sing-along songs. I for one was dissapointed.The movie starts off with a group of Scotsman living in the jungle...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 12:45:00 PST

pop culture is NOT a whore-mongering debacle filled with feces

Okay, I'm just a ferret, I don't understand all of the intricacies and subtleties of your human world. Celebrity, fame, sycophantic blood suckers - these words are just curios to me. Sure I'm intrigue...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 08:08:00 PST

Hey, I'm not too cool for school

Look, I may be a ferret, and have a thing for shiny balls, but I can participate just like everyone else here on myspaces.TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The SurveyName:SweetieBirthday:October 31st - or some...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:59:00 PST

What's the Fracas?

So I'm bubbling it up at the local jacuzzi, and I'm jawing with Giorgio the one-legged alcoholic, his stump is itching up a big band, when alls of a sudden geek boy Johnny comes scrambling onto the t...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:40:00 PST

Thanksgiving scares me

Dickweed hasn't bought a turkey yet, this gives me some frightened thoughts. Do Jews sometimes eat polecats for Thanksgiving? I don't want to broach the subject. What if he just says "Yes Sweetie I am...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 11:13:00 PST

Not quite sure I see the point

Why? I wake up, eat some kibble, then it's a 15 minute run through my tunnel. Kind of exhausted after that, so I take a nap. Wake up, stretch and yawn for about 2 hours, go through that fucking tunnel...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 01:33:00 PST

Sweater Sleeves

I like 'em!And I was pretty damn happy to wake up this morning and find out it was nice and cold. That always means that dumbass is gonna have to wear one of his awesomely comfy sweaters!!!I mean real...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 08:57:00 PST

ROBOTS!!!

Woke up this morning thinking about robots - man they're scary.Don't believe me? Check this shit out - Okay, so I finally got around to reading the goddamn newspaper - that asshole who keeps me hostag...
Posted by Sweetie The Ferret on Thu, 09 Nov 2006 08:01:00 PST