Hi, im THE inaminate carbon rod.
I reside in Springfield, usually at the Nuclear Power Plant (where Mr.Burns awarded me the 'worker of the week'), i just do what carbon rods do... hold shit together, make structures stronger etc.
I was also man-handled in space by that fat retard Homer, but in doing this, saved the lives of all 3 astronauts and was heralded a national hero upon my return to earth. There was even a street parade to honour me and i appeared on the cover of TIME magazine. Pretty fucking cool huh?!
I even woke up in Edna Krabappl's top drawer once... fuck knows why... but i felt a bit dirty.
Everyone in Springfield thinks im the shit... and they are right.
I also enjoy a few quiet reefers to wind down after a long day being 'tough'.
I appeared in an Adult movie with Traci Lords in the 1980's, luckily, this went un-noticed as my performance was rather dull. Remember the lube next time Traci!!
My uses are too many to mention, lets face it, im a useful object... but springfield bores me to tears... and that explains my porn star addiction...Ahem.
Feel free to suggest further uses for me... play DIRTY!!
Oh, and fuck those PG rated residents of Springfield, Im the coolest fucking inanimate carbon rod on the planet! Before i forget, i also have the ever-so-slightest tendency to think im the next anti-christ...
WORSHIP ME AS YOUR GOD, YOUR SATANIC SAVIOUR, YOUR ANTI-CHRIST... FOR I AM THE INANIMATE CARBON ROD! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME AND EMBRACE THE GREEN GLOW OF PERVERSITY, DEPRAVITY AND SEXUAL DEVIANCY! FUCK YOUR DEITIES!
Thanks to 'dirty mel' for this pic.
You are now marked on my profile visitor map!
