"If there's anyone in marketing or advertising here in the audience tonight -- kill yourselves."
-- Bill Hicks
Traveling from place to place, meeting people, and getting in adventures. You know, like Kwai Chang Caine in Kung-Fu.
"If you've had everything all your life, then you've never been tested... You have to have come through something -- because that's how a sword is made. It's made from a piece of iron from the ground, and it's forged and beaten -- that's the great metaphor for the Human Being. If you're born a sword, you aren't a real sword. But if you're forged from this iron ore, then comes this beautiful sword."
-- Hector Elizondo
I no longer categorize things into 'good' or 'evil' -- only 'interesting' or 'boring.'
I'd like to work for Wizards of the Coast as an Editor or Game Tester.
Acting on stage, film, and television.
Voice-overs, too!
Being abducted, but not probed or molested.
Going to Australia for a week and staying for a year.
Learning new languages. Anybody want to help me learn Mandarin?
Watching movies. I'm a total movie sponge with wicked good recall -- and once won free ice cream for knowing random movie trivia.
I'd like to meet:
Aliens.
I'd like to be abducted and then returned safely to Earth, but not in a "terrifyingly painful anal probe experimentation" kind of way. I'm more interested in the "give me superpowers and then I become protector of the Earth" sort of trip. Preferably flight and/or super-speed. Thanks.
"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
-- Theodore Roosevelt
A Nickel's Worth of Free Advice:
Ladies, if you're one of those uptight little Abercrombie & Fitch bitches who drive around talking on your cell phone in an SUV that daddy bought you and have never had a real job, are a tease, think it's fun to be a bitch, or are just discovering alcohol -- do yourself (and every man out there) a favor and get it out of your system quickly. Ignorance is a turn-off. Use your brain for a change -- it's the greatest sexual organ you've got.
THE [EVER GROWING] LIST OF PEOPLE WHO CAN JUST FUCK OFF:
People who don't understand that George W. Bush is the worst terrorist in the world in the true definition of the word.
People who don't tip at restaurants. [There's a special circle of Hell for you cocksuckers.]
People who don't understand the comedy of Ann Coulter.
People who molest children.
People who talk at the theater.
People who drive faster than I do.
People who drive slower than I do.
People who would rather have drama than relationships.
People who disregard Handicapped Parking signs.
THE LIST OF FAMOUS PEOPLE I'VE ALREADY MET/SEEN/BUMPED INTO AND/OR HAD SEX WITH:
Jennifer Aniston, Sean Astin, Rowan Atkison, Joe Alaskey, Gerard Butler, David Boreanaz, Pierce Brosnan, Benjamin Bratt, Orlando Bloom, Halle Berry, Red Buttons, Neve Campbell, Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Scott Caan, James Caan, Don Cheadle, James Carrey, Toni Collette, Charles S. Dutton, Stephen Dorff, Dr. Dre, Michael Douglas, Vin Diesel, Dana Delaney, Warren Ellis, Omar Epps, Morgan Freeman, Jodi Foster, Robert Forster, Harrison Ford, Scott Glenn, Hugh Grant, Cuba Gooding Jr., Ed Harris, Ethan Hawke, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Rhys Ifans, Kathy Ireland, James Earl Jones, Angelina Jolie, Harvey Keitel, Sir Ben Kingsley, Nicole Kidman, Don Knotts, LL Cool J, Jet Li, Ali Larter, Baz Luhrman, Frank Miller, Dominic Monoghan, Roger Moore, Helen Mirren, Craig T. Nelson, Shaquille O'Neal, Bob Paulsen, Piper Perabo, Will Ryan, Robin Tunney, Paul Walker, Elijah Wood, Wally Wingert, Peta Wilson, Tom Wilkenson...
Music:
Current Favorite:
Regina Spektor.
Spoken Word/Comedy:
Bill Hicks, Henry Rollins, Eddie Izzard, Jimmy Carr, Lewis Black, Demetri Martin.
Bands:
(Alphabetically random) The Ataris, Beastie Boys, Corky & The Juice Pigs, Dashboard Confessional, Erin McKeown, Fountains of Wayne, Gene Loves Jezebel, Heart, Iron Maiden, Jason Mraz, The Killers, Loreena McKennitt, The Mad Caddies, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Offspring, Postal Service, Queen, Reel Big Fish, Social Distortion, Tenacious D, Ugly Kid Joe, Velvet Underground, Wheatus, Yes, The Zambonis.
Solo Artists:
Joe Satriani, Johnny Cash, Richard Cheese, Ani DiFranco, Vanessa Mae, Jason Mraz, Rufus Wainwright.
Albums:
Regina Spektor - Begin To Hope, Citizen Cope - The Clarence Greenwood Recordings, Green Day - American Idiot, Richard Cheese - Lounge Against the Machine.
Movies:
How do I begin to list my favorites? Movies are my passion.
Okay, some of my favorites:
The Neverending Story. The Princess Bride. The Matrix. 300. Superman. Batman Begins. Casablanca. The Seven Samurai. Fight Club. American Psycho. Die Hard. Casino Royale [2006]. Lone Wolf and Cub. The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou. Gattaca. Blazing Saddles. Kill Bill (Vols. 1 & 2). Memento. Say Anything. Young Frankenstein. Snatch. American History X. Love Me If You Dare. True Romance. Shaun of the Dead. Rashomon.
Television:
"Television is a medium because it is neither rare nor well-done.
-- Ernie Kovacs
Heroes.
If you don't watch this show, you are basically a failure as a human being.
Battlestar Galactica.
Who knew that science-fiction could be done with such intelligence? This is the most cutting-edge political show on television, disguised as a sci-fi drama.
The 4400.
If you're not watching this show, you're missing out.
The Loop.
Holster your snootch, pooter-patch. Watch this show and don't be a douche-lick suck bag.
Firefly.
Why do they cancel the good shows?
"I don't like fellows that kill me. Not in general."
Books:
Currently Reading:
Stranger In A Strange Land by Robert Heinlein.
In The Queue:
War & Peace by Dostoevsky; World War Z by Max Brooks; On Sparta by Plutarch.
Other Favorites:
Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, DUNE by Frank Herbert, The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein, American Gods and Neverwhere and just about everything by Neil Gaiman, Transmetropolitan by Warren Ellis, The Invisibles by Grant Morrison, Preacher by Garth Ennis.
Heroes:
Paul Scofield in San Antonio for being the most loyal friend any man could ask for -- and for keeping me sane in this mad, mad, mad, mad world.
Ryan in Austin -- my brother from another mother -- for being mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
Howard Roark for letting nothing -- not popular opinion, not his enemies, not even the collective outrage of the entire world -- stand in the way of achieving his dreams. Every day I aspire to match his courage and faith in himself.
Spider Jerusalem for having the courage of his convictions and always telling the brutal truth, even when it is unpopular -- and for teaching me how to make my very own Bowel Disruptor. All power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb.
King Mob for teaching me hand-to-hand combat, psychic self-defense, and the concept of "empty-handed insurrection."
Jesse Custer for not taking shit from fools, for judging people by what's in 'em -- not by how they look, and for doing the right thing. And for being one of the good guys ('cause there's just too damn many of the bad).
My Most Honorable Sifu, Pei Mei, former Head Priest of the White Lotus clan, for teaching me the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique (and for massacring those dishonorable Shaolin monks who so callously snubbed him).
Master Chiun for instructing me in the mystic and venerable ways of Sinanju.
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs for immanentizing the eschaton, and for bringing slack to the people wherever he goes.
