Ron.

I am BooMilk. I like Canadian Club and 7Up. I am fascinated by women who are lactating. I constantly lose my lighters and hate paying a dollar for new ones. I go to the grocery store but always forget to bring my list and end up with everything I didn't need and nothing I went for. It's getting harder for me not to take life so seriously. I wish I did everything I did not. I like the cold but hate getting dressed for it. I wanted to be a marine biologist but didn't want Jacques Cousteau wrinkles. I finally made an appointment to get my eyes checked, but ended up getting lost because I couldn't see the addresses. I freak out when I run into people I haven't seen in years. I constantly wait for something to happen. I wonder why my kitty is losing her hair. I chatter my teeth constantly. I hate having to sit still. I like to talk just to hear myself. I want to shave my head but don't know what I would do with all the extra gel I bought. I like to annoy Melissa. People keep asking me if I want kids. I do not know why. I am fascinated by insignificant things. I like to pretend I have Tourette's so I can cuss at complete strangers on the street. I am deathly afraid of bees, although I have never been stung by one. I hate the smell of dogs and fish. I hate people that say, "Supposably". I like to drive slowly to annoy people behind me. I like afternoon naps. I hate Pamela Anderson. I wanted a black car, but bought a blue one instead. I do not want it anymore. I make to-do lists and forget where I put them. I carry a wide array of analgesics in my satchel. I don't like watching TV, unless it's really mindless like QVC or HSN. I like reading Lillian Vernon and Fingerhut catalogs. I like to watch couples argue. I like to dance in my livingroom when no one is watching. I like to watch Melissa dance. I like catching people lying to me. I hate my alarm clock. I hate cleaning the bathroom floor, although I am a clean freak. I like the sound of stilettos clicking on marble. Wearing my glasses makes me dizzy. So do rides that go around in circles. I like roller coasters and despise people that give me dirty looks when I scream. So I scream louder. Oh, and I scream like a big girl on crack at the Hometown Buffet. I hate towels that smell like mildew. I love the smell of bleach, gasoline, and natural gas. I hate dirty fingernails. I hate people that feel like they have to touch my computer screen and end up leaving their dirty little fingerprints when they point stuff out to me. I do not like tight shoes. I like to see people get drunk. I do not like Vaginas. They frighten me. I'm a real treat.