Col. Hector Bravado - ProfilesArchive

About Me

After selling my Guns 'n' Cones franchise, which tanked last year â€” the franchise's market analysis overestimated the demand for a one-stop shop where you could get pistols and ice cream â€” I started my own Ewok prostitution ring. My stable currently consists of four females and one male Ewok, who are fetching handsome rates at truck stops, nightclubs, and believe it or not, state fairs. You can do the usual head/sex/half-and-half stuff with them, or you can spring for the Endorian Furjob, which runs $150 and has to be felt to be believed. Now I'm finally living my dream lifestyle, and you can, too. Always reach for the stars. And for the pliant, cuddly aliens who live near those stars, who can be tricked into having sex for money. Cheers.

My Interests

Writing, Creative Relationship Building and Project Management, Tai Chi, Mail Fraud

I'd like to meet:

Writers. Readers. Drinkers. Entrepreneurs. Leprechauns.

Music:

Lately, in the car: Cockney Rejects, Charged G.B.H., Jedi Mind Tricks, Wu Tang Clan, Pete Rock & CL Smooth

Movies:

D.O. the Fabulous Drifter - "Wake Up" - FivePointsPlan.com

D.O. the Fabulous Drifter and Dow Jones rep the Mile High with a new single that's been getting play all over Denver and beyond. From D.O.'s full-length album, "Industry Guys." If you didn't know, now you know.

Television:

I keep forgetting to buy one.

Books:

Alternating between The Federalist Papers and John Updike's Greatest American Short Stories of the 20th Centuries.

Heroes:

This mean-ass funny sonofabitch right here.

My Blog

Stuck in My Head: Five Points Plan Recordings (Pt. 2)

In the summer of 2006, my life pretty much fell completely the fuck apart. The finest thing about those otherwise sour and panicky months was the time I spent with the artists of Denver, Colorado's Fi...
Posted by Col. Hector Bravado on Wed, 29 Aug 2007 09:10:00 PST

Stuck in My Head: Five Points Plan Recordings (Pt. 1)

Stuck in My Head: Trivia Night at the Old Chicago, Tamarac Square

This post is available Monday, and the best Denver scene writing in the biz is available all week long at ElitistHipsterSnob.com. Elitism. Hipsters. Snobbery. In that order.It's Trivia Night at the ...
Posted by Col. Hector Bravado on Sun, 01 Jul 2007 12:14:00 PST

Stuck in My Head: "Pen and Paper," Stetsasonic

As posted on elitisthipstersnob.com Before he was the producer who put a Daisy Age-sized crater in hip hop with the singular, incomparably playful Three Feet High and Rising for Tommy Boy, before Gra...
Posted by Col. Hector Bravado on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 10:16:00 PST

Stuck in My Head: "Fried Chicken," The Beatnuts

From elitisthipstersnob.com:The Beatnuts' eponymous '94 release is an uncontested masterpiece of the jazz-sample-and-a-big-snare era: it's like half of Queens is partying in your eardrum while the oth...
Posted by Col. Hector Bravado on Mon, 28 May 2007 08:15:00 PST

Heads to Bed: An excerpt from my travails

This is one of 13 stories I'm working on for Get Tight, Get Loose: 13 Paintings of a Man at Drink. Enjoy.Patches' Pirate IslandWherein a perfect view is offered.The hard-edged crush of voices and repe...
Posted by Col. Hector Bravado on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 11:12:00 PST

Heads to Bed: It's fall (and get up again)

Don't know about you, but I'm the kind of person who runs hot and cold. You people who manage to sustain focused and energetic (or mediocre but incredibly steady) lives are a different species to me. ...
Posted by Col. Hector Bravado on Fri, 29 Sep 2006 11:06:00 PST

Heads to Bed: 15-minute Nyquil countdown

In fifteen minutes, whatever I have typed here will be my first blog entry on Myspace, for better or for worse. That's because the Nyquil whose cap I am now fumbling with between sentences will be in ...
Posted by Col. Hector Bravado on Tue, 26 Sep 2006 12:31:00 PST