I really like coming up with grand schemes to solve all the world's ills and then trying unsuccessfully to get anybody to care enough to listen. And beer.
Jesus at a Republican convention.
I find out about stuff way too late. I just discovered Bob Dylan last year. That guy's great. I wish I were more like the pretentious guys at the record store who sneer disapprovingly at the stuff I bring up to the counter. That would be awesome. Then I could let people know how much cooler than they are I am, as manifested in my ability to sneer at their lowly choices in music. Becuase what's more important than being cooler than other people?
My sister just told me a story about how they screen films at the campus auditorium. They print this schedule every semester and on the days where the film scheduled says TBD, it is widely known that porn will be the cinematic treat du jour. Can picture 500 college kids packed into an auditorium to watch porn? Possible bad jokes to insert here as punchlines to this story include: 1) I would hate to be the janitor to mop up that place! 2) Ping pong balls, I thought you said King Kong's balls! 3) Is it illegal to yell "rape" in a crowded theater? 4) Something about Jerry Fallwell.
Don Knotts died the other day. Sad. And all these old farts wrote these columns about how Knotts was the best second banana of all time. While Knotts' Barney Fife was certainly not without his merits the best second banana is actually a tie between Coach Ernie Pantuso and Buddy Lembeck.
I prefer paperback to hardback. They're cheaper. They don't have stupid annoying dust covers that I always lose when I borrow my friends' books. And I can fold them in half and pu them in my pocket. I like that.
My buddy brian prints a magazine that very few people read because he loves it.My wife Keelin is more true a person than anyone I have ever met.My dad gets all exited about photographs.My mom always has some project going, she never has a moment when she's not getting something important done.My buddy Lorien is in Alaska finding out all about girls he couldn't have known when he was married.I once saw a guy with a cardboard sign that read "Please contribute the United Negro Cheeseburger Fund." I gave him two dollars.