Morticia profile picture

Morticia

BEWARE OF THE THING!!!

About Me

Hi I'm Morticia [née Frump]. I can speak the French language it drives Gomez crazy with desire. As Gomez would say "Tish!, when you speak French, it drives me wild, Cara Mia!" He then grabs my arm and plants a trail of kisses from my hand right up to my lips.My French has helped clear up a sinus condition Gomez had for 22 years. One of Gomez's love poems stated "When I first saw you from afar, My heart flamed with fierce passion. And when you spoke French, ooh-la-la!..."I try to relax by enjoying a good smoke. Except when I smoke, my entire body emitts a milky, misty cloud of vapor.
My hobbies include painting on canvas and spending time in the dungeon getting stretched on the rack. My favorite color is black which translates into a one-colored wardrobe of the same dress, I chose black after Gomez admired my black honeymoon ensemble. "I'll never wear another," I promised - and I kept my word!
While Gomez and myself have different hobbies, we do have shared interests. When it's sunny outside, we get depressed; but a thunder and lightning storm will raise our spirits, and while the moon is full we like nothing better than being outside getting ourselves a nice tan from the moonlight. Halloween is the most important holiday of our year. My family doesn't go back as far as Gomez, although I do had some distinctive ancestors who lived in Salem, Massachusetts. I once organized a séance to reach the spirit of long dead Great Great Great Aunt Singe who was burned as a witch. The incantation read "Fire of Salem, ol' flame of Satan, Come in Aunt Singe, we're all awaitin'."
Cleopatra is my African strangler plant whose main diet consists of chunks of red, fleshy meat [Cleo's favorite food is Zebra Burgers and Yak meatballs]. I actually grew Cleopatra from a seed. The overly aggressive plant is always snuggling up to my family's visitors who donn't realize that the plant's apparent affection was really Cleopatra's way of sizing up her next meal.. Once Cleopatra ate my favorite photo of Gomez.
My other plants included Roses (for their thorns), hemlock, henbane, and poison Ivy. To enhance the growth of my weed garden, I fertilize them by sprinkling "Wonder Weed." Ha ha ha!!
I love to prune them - it makes me happy

My Interests

Check out my Family Album in my Pictures I've just added a few of our pets too.
Our Family Spooky Victorian Mansion we call Home!

Once you enter our gloomy abode you are privy to a number of bizarre items including ancient instruments of torture

(an iron maiden, a rack, a bed-of-nails chaise lounge, stocks inscribed "Hers," and a flogging table)' a huge two-headed sea turtle,

an Eskimo totem pole, a giant brown (and later) white bear, the hastate head of a swordfish stuffed with a human leg (Cousin Ferook's),

a suit of samurai armor, a harpsichord, a king cobra candle holder, a steer-horn-girded armchair, an elephant's hoof filled with popcorn,

a moose head (named Pierre) over the fireplace with one whimsically drooping left antler, and a bearskin rug that growled when stepped upon.Also lurking within the Addams' mansion are Thing, a disembodied human right hand; Cleopatra, an African strangling plant; and Kit Kat, the family lion.

This is one of our Family Portraits -our immediate family consists of our portly son Pugsley Addams, our somber little girl Wednesday Thursday Addams who carries a headless doll named Marie Antoinette, Grandmama 'the witch' Addams who conjures up love spells, the bald Uncle Fester Frump who relieves his headache by compressing his head in a vice ["POP!"], the hairy Cousin Itt who babbles a strange language that only Gomez understands, and Lurch, the family's towering harpsichord-playing zombie butler who answers the family gong with a deep-voiced "You rang?"

Thing is Gomez's childhood companion who moves about the Addams' bizarre home via a labyrinth of tunnels which lead to the mail box, a hidden wall vault and to a myriad of small hinged-topped wooden boxes strategically placed about their bizarre gothic home. Thing's responsibilities included delivering the family mail, answering the telephone (from his gold, nail-studded box), lighting Gomez's cigars and sympathetically patting family members with his five fingers when they were depressed. "Beware the Thing" was posted on the iron gate in front of the Addams house. Conversation with Thing was limited, to be sure, but when hand gestures were not enough, Thing tapped out his messages with Morse Code. When Gomez went for a drive in the car, Thing rode in the glove compartment.

Kit Kat who is in my family album is a full-grown African lion the family pet. It wanders through the Addams' home and unwittingly frightens all of our visitors. Kit Kat has the unique talent of walking backwards up the flight of stairs.When the day draws to a close and the dinner bells rings at the Addams family, I serves Gomez a number of strange delicacies. The family's daily diet includes such entrees as baked iguana, breast of alligator, broiled elephant hooves, casserole of spleen (with a pinch of hemlock), dwarf's hair pie, fricassee of toad, marinated gizzard of lizard, soufflé of aardvark, and tongue of yak. MMMM! Bet you can't wait for an invite to dinner!!!!!!!!!

I'd like to meet:

..Would be amazing to finally meet up with Herman & Lilly :)

Books:


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