(from Burma with love)

[so much shouting, so much laughter]
Inspiration is the air I breathe. Complacence is my greatest fear.
My idea of fulfillment is not the act of physically "filling" the socially constructed voids that have come to serve as normalizing elements in our everyday, worldly existence. Rather, I feel that fulfillment embodies the ability to sustain a continuously evolving state of the self...to never want to stop learning...to keep a robust sense of humor...to ceaselessly strive to better oneself through intense introspection and contemplation...to perpetually realize and expand one's potential to improve the world we live in. I am consistently humbled by the marvel of life's simple pleasures and the order of nature. I yearn to continually better myself as a person, and welcome any and all criticism that may render the footprint I leave on this world, and on others, more positive.
Shameless fits of laughter, bold spontaneity, and deviation from the diluted mainstream are what I regard as some of the most delicious facets of life. I am uncontrollably drawn to underground cultures, and I find beauty in esoteric unity.
What gets me out of bed in the morning is the work I do. The fact that 30,000+ children die each day from preventable causes was what initially piqued my interest in international human rights; the stunning amount of strength, resilience, and generosity of the people I've had the privilege of meeting and serving has cemented my commitment. Years of volunteering and working for non-profits with callow over-enthusiasm have, at times, led to me overextending myself and ending up in the hospital for exhaustion and malnutrition (brilliant, I know). Recently, though, I've learned the importance of taking care of myself properly - and how to focus my energy and time so that I can keep busy with positive efforts to help others, without killing myself in the process. However, I wouldn't trade my past experiences for anything in the world. Working with mentally ill homeless people, genocide survivors from Rwanda and refugees from Darfur has taught me more about life and the human condition than any schooling ever could have. While I am often sarcastic and can come off as cynical, the truth is that people amaze me every day.
I live to gain perspective and insight from life experience, struggle, humor, travel, and connecting with others. Painfully awkward moments are unhealthily amusing to me. My most treasured possession is my collection of memories - the sleepless nights, the close-calls, the crazy adventures, the mind-blowing conversations, the inside jokes shared with those close to me. My favorite way to be happy is to find beauty in others.
I believe in the power of intention, and I feel that the human mind has untapped potential.
I'm not a talker, I'm a doer.
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Want to read a lot more of my blogs? (I don't post many on MySpace.) Go here: http://www.xanga.com/vivalarev0lucion.
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"One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked, 'Which wolf wins?' The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.' "
- Jim Gustafson
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"I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I've done.
I don't want to keep on the closet shelf
A host of secrets about myself
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a person I really am.
I don't want to dress up myself in sham...
I want to go out with my head erect -
I want to deserve all people's respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know
That I'm bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me -
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know...
I never can fool myself, and so
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free."
-Anonymous
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pssst...pause my music and watch this video!
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